Just A Lonely Walk
by Frozenleaf
Summary: Cornell told him to live, but he wasn't sure how to start. Post-Graces F.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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**Prologue**

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This was Asbel's fault.

Lambda sighed as he fell back into the field of flowers, flinching when he remembered that his form was actually corporeal. Around him, the grass whistled in the wind, and he could hear the sound of the waves crashing onto the cliffs below. A giant tree towered above him like a comforting blanket, its branches and leaves reaching towards the stars.

He grimaced at the absolute idiocy of it all.

The last thing he recalled was a dream. He had been speaking to Fodra, trying to dispel her rage. He presumed that he must have been sleeping for a while. In truth, he had thought he would be asleep for at least a few centuries, but he had been rudely awakened when a rush of thoughts and imagery had breached his mind, overwhelming him. He remembered her _laughing _at him as he fled, panicked, from his very own mind.

Damn Asbel. Couldn't he control his feelings better?

Lambda let out a heavy sigh.

He hadn't expected to awaken while Asbel was on a _date_, of all things. Normally, the emotions of his host would never have been so strong that it could overflow into his own mind, but it seemed like Asbel loved to prove him wrong. And as someone whose breadth of emotional experience consisted of being angry and hating the world, it was... a strange experience, to say the least. When he realized the situation he found himself in, he freaked out and forced himself from Asbel's body as quickly as he could. (Seriously, it was incredibly awkward when he realized he was pretty much acting as a third-wheel that nobody even realized was there.)

To be fair, it sounded downright _silly _that someone who had the power to destroy the world would be terrified of someone's _feelings_, but the thoughts he felt from Asbel through their bond were so strong and vibrant and unknown to him that Lambda had found himself washed away by them. He let out a breath, almost wishing that he could expel all of them from his mind.

_I'm a wreck_, he thought, mentally hitting himself. _This is completely Asbel's fault_.

He knew he should have returned by now. He would probably need to apologize for leaving so abruptly (and possibly leaving Asbel with a mild concussion from the mental kick for not considering his presence in his mind), but something held him back. Even when the residual emotions had died down, he felt something odd tugging at his heart. It was longing; wistful. And, frustratingly enough, he couldn't pinpoint what it was.

Lambda let his gaze drift to the night sky. The stars were bright away from the lights of civilization, and there was nary a cloud in sight. The moon was only a crescent now, but it shimmered with an iridescence that Lambda had never noticed before.

That's right, he realized. It had been at least seven years since he had his own body, his own eyes, his own mind, without needing to share it with anybody else. Everything around him seemed so much more vibrant as compared to his memories, like someone had colored in an old painting, and he realized that the world he had been seeing was but a watered down version of the real thing.

He could _feel _the sting of the cold air, _hear _the roaring sound of the waves, and_ smell _the sweet scent of the flowers. He could taste the salt in the air, see the moon in all its glory-

He felt… alive.

The realization felt like a knife twisting in his now-existent gut. If he were asked whether he had felt content sleeping within Asbel's mind, he probably would have said, yes, yes he was.

But there was a whisper of doubt that he had long been fostering, a passing thought he hadn't paid heed to until now.

Cornell had wanted him to live, but until that moment, he hadn't understood the true depth of his words.

And too short, too soon, it would all be over.

"Lambda?"

He tensed when he heard the clear voice cutting through the night air, not even needing to look to identify the speaker.

"Protos Heis."

Quite by instinct, he let his body dissolve into dark mist as he turned to face his once-nemesis. She stood only a few feet away, watching him with a curious expression. Lambda mentally slapped himself for getting distracted- how had he let her get so close? Were they still trying to kill each other, he would have already been put at a disadvantage.

She continued staring at him, as if waiting for a response. She wore a simple white shift, her long purple hair blowing like a cloak behind her. She looked older now, more self-assured. He had known her for well over a millennium, but now, she looked like a complete stranger.

They stood there in silence, unwilling to break the uneasy truce between them. She was the first to speak.

"You have a body," she observed, somewhat lamely.

Lambda nodded. "I absorbed sufficient eleth from Fodra to maintain a physical form for an unknown period of time," he agreed. "Far longer than before."

"I- I see."

"But that's not why you're here, is it, Protos Heis?"

She flinched slightly at the name. Her hesitance was all the answer Lambda needed.

"Asbel sent you," he murmured, resigned.

"I-I can pinpoint your eleth, no matter where you are," she explained. "It's logical."

"Did he send you to kill me?" Lambda asked with a weary sigh.

She blinked, and then her brows furrowed in confusion. "Do you really think that he would do that?"

Lambda wondered. To Asbel, it might have seemed like he had run away and broken their agreement. Some of his previous hosts would have immediately assumed the worse, but Asbel…

Asbel was his friend.

Lambda sighed, exasperated. "He's a gullible fool."

Silence descended upon them once again.

Protos Heis did not look like she wanted to be here. In fact, if Lambda had to describe it, she looked... tense. Wary. _Of course_, he thought, _considering the company, why shouldn't she be? _

Hesitantly, she took a step forward, and instinctively, he moved back. She frowned and paused, watching him warily.

"Asbel said you were... scared. That you ran away."

Lambda felt affronted by the accusation. Sure, he was shocked and maybe he was slightly more panicked than usual, but he was _not _scared. He didn't _do _scared.

"I just... wanted to take a walk."

She didn't look convinced. "You left Asbel with a mild concussion. He was worried sick."

He could imagine, just as he could imagine exactly why she was here. It didn't surprise him in the least. Of course they'd expect him back. He couldn't very well run away that easily, after all. Nobody- not even someone as trusting and gullible as Asbel- would willingly let a monster that tried to destroy the world run free without questions.

He smiled bitterly. "Are you here to take me back, Protos Heis?"

She seemed surprised by his question.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, tilting her head slightly.

"No," he said brusquely, getting up. "Everything's... fine."

He had expected that she would be happy with his answer, and they would leave, dismissing his momentary lapse of character as perhaps moon-sickness or something. What he wasn't expecting was for her to grab hold of him as he walked past, stopping him in his tracks.

"No it's not," she said sharply. "I've never seen you act this strange before."

Lambda turned around, about to snap at her, when he caught sight of her face. The Protos Heis he knew had never shown any hint of concern for him, but now a slight frown graced her features. It gave him pause. After all, if anyone in the world (save for Asbel and Richard) had the right to speak to him in such a manner, it would be her.

"You don't trust me, do you?" she asked.

Did he? He wasn't sure. He trusted her to protect Asbel and Richard. He trusted her enough to know she wouldn't kill him, back on Fodra. But he had spent a millenia hating her, seeing her face in his nightmares...

Back on Fodra, on an impulse, he had called her a friend.

Emotions were complicated, Lambda decided in his defense.

He sighed heavily, letting the dark fog around him dissipate. This human form seemed more natural to him, but he hated how helpless he felt when he wore it. Yet, he supposed, if he wanted her to trust him, he would have to prove it to her.

He saw the surprise in her face, and taking the chance, he slid his hand away from her grip.

"This isn't living," he whispered. For some reason, his throat felt dry.

She didn't stop him as he turned and walked away from her. Instead, she watched him, though her stance never quite relaxed. He searched his mind, trying exactly to put into words the realization he had stumbled on just a few minutes before.

He turned to face her. With a deep breath, he admitted, "I don't want to go back."

She frowned, tensing slightly. Were it any other time, he would have smirked at her unease. Instead, he held up a hand as a gesture to wait, sighing as he struggled to find the words that described what he felt.

"Do you ever wonder what is it that we are meant to be?" Lambda asked. "Do you ever wonder whether we're living our lives or the lives that others impose upon us?"

Her frown only deepened. "I don't understand."

"Fodran scientists captured me before I could even form cognitive thought," he explained. "All my life, I've ran away from those who would wish me ill, did everything I could to survive. I believed the only way for me to do so was to fuse with this planet's Lastalia. But now... now I wonder. Why was I created? Who was I created to be? Am I to be forever hiding, whether it is in someone else's mind or within the core, watching as everyone else lives their lives? Am I a monster that is meant to destroy worlds, or am I capable of being something else?

"I don't even know who 'I' am supposed to be," he finished darkly, unwilling to meet her gaze. It was one thing to confide his insecurities in a friend, but she was also the one created to destroy him. And even though he wanted to trust her, he couldn't completely let go of the feeling that he was giving her everything she would need to not only destroy him, but his entire core.

She didn't respond for a while. Perhaps she couldn't. Perhaps she thought he was just being silly, or perhaps she was gearing up to destroy him.

"I understand."

Lambda looked up at the sound of her soft voice. There was a small upturn in the corner of her mouth, and she shrugged hopelessly. "I was created to destroy you," she said in response. "But when my memories were gone, the things I saw, and the people I met... they helped me find something beyond that. You never had that chance."

"You make it sound as if it was acceptable for me to roam free."

She bit her lip, thinking about her next words. Quietly, hesitantly, she asked, "Isn't it?"

He froze as she walked towards him, stopping about an arm's length away. Her face was expressionless, but for the first time since he had known her, Protos Heis's eyes weren't cold when they watched him.

"You called me your friend," she murmured.

Lambda nodded, her very proximity making him feel uneasy. It was as if those eyes could see through him. "I did not lie."

Her gaze was searching for something. Finally, she said, "You need more friends."

Lambda blinked at her pronouncement. Indeed, it seemed that even she was surprised by what she had said, as she ducked her head, her cheeks a furious red.

"You shouldn't go back to sleep so soon," she said hastily. "You should be living in your own body, having your own experiences, making your own friends. That's what Cornell would have wanted."

"You would presume to know what Cornell would have wanted?" Lambda asked with an arched eyebrow.

She shook her head. "He wanted you to live. He said as much from the records we found on Fodra. Isn't that what you want?"

"You... do not object?" Lambda could not hide the incredulity in his voice. Protos Heis had been the most reluctant of Asbel's circle to accept him, and even now, he doubted that she would go so far to trust him, even if he did consider her his friend.

She smiled- but her eyes were full of warning. "Asbel would want to give you a chance," she said. "Perhaps I should too."

And just like that, she turned on her heel and walked off. Lambda stood there, stunned, until she glanced over her shoulder at him and he realized that she was waiting for him to follow. For a moment, he was caught by an instinct to run away, that it was a trap.

But there was something else that told him that it would be okay, that she wouldn't betray him.

"Thank you," he said when he had caught up to her, "for everything, Protos Heis."

She paused in mid-step. "My friends call me Sophie," she murmured, so soft that he barely caught it.

"Sophie," he repeated. It wasn't that he hadn't known her name, but it was a name he attached to a different side of her- one that wasn't the monster in his nightmares, one that he wasn't familiar with.

He wouldn't mind knowing that person, he thought distantly.

For the first time that night, she gave him a genuine smile- one that wasn't troubled or wary. "Come on," she said, tugging on his hand. "Let's go find Asbel."


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

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While he was asleep, he had talked to Fodra. The majority of the time was spent weathering the rage of an ancient planet, having her throw her will against his time and time again, barely maintaining the walls that kept his mind sane and her from escaping. Even now, while he was awake, Lambda was well aware that his powers were severely limited to maintain her captivity.

But there were times where there were lulls in her mood, and during those times, Fodra seemed more like friend than enemy. Her behavior was usually enigmatic, and she would smirk at him knowingly and question and prod him, trying to lead him to the conclusion that perhaps it was _he _that was in the wrong.

It was one of those times that she had asked him whether he was right to trust in humanity.

"You hated them almost as much as I do," Fodra had remarked, brushing her dark green hair out of her eyes. "Why the change?"

Lambda shrugged. "There's good and bad within all things. Perhaps we should allow ourselves to see more of the former."

She had turned her gaze on him then, a look full of pity. "Do you really believe that you'll be accepted by them?"

Lambda frowned. "I've already been accepted."

Fodra had laughed. "Accepted as long as you dwell within someone's mind," she had pointed out. "Do not fool yourself, child. The only reason why humanity was spared destruction was because you interceded on their behalf; yet you are kept like a caged animal; trapped by the very people you stopped me from destroying."

The thought enraged him. "Asbel would never-"

"Would he give you your freedom?" Fodra asked, smirking.

Lambda had no answer to that, then, and it wasn't too long before the argument picked up once more and Fodra decided that throwing streaks of lightning in his general direction was an entertaining pastime.

As he walked alongside Sophie back to Lhant, he recalled that conversation. A mounting trepidation built in his heart, and he wondered, briefly, whether Sophie was wrong and whether, just maybe, Fodra was right. Would the humans- would _Asbel_- attack him on sight?

The thought hurt. He was fond of Asbel. The boy was trusting and naive, but he had never ever gotten angry at Lambda, never forced him to do anything he wasn't willing to do. He was one of the few people in the world that treated Lambda not as a monster or a tool, but as an equal. In some ways, Asbel Lhant was the only reason why Lambda had even considered _not_ destroying humanity.

And now, it pained him to try to think of the young lord as an enemy.

"Don't worry," Sophie said, catching sight of his face.

Lambda schooled his features. "I am not," he assured her.

She gave him a look that showed him that she wasn't buying that, but he didn't choose to comment, and luckily, neither did she.

It was sometime after dawn when Lambda found himself standing directly in the long shadow that the town of Lhant cast over the landscape, rising out of the surrounding hills like a beacon of stone. Lambda had always thought it small compared to the grandeur of Barona or the vast, sprawling majesty of Yu Liberte, but now as he stood at the base of the town gates, he was made all too aware of how small he looked in his human form as compared to the towering height of the city's walls. It looked foreboding, like a cage.

Or perhaps that was his pessimism talking again.

There were two men loitering at the front of the gates- guards, he presumed. They immediately snapped to attention when they caught sight of Sophie.

"Miss Sophie!" one of them called.

Lambda was pleased that at least their eyesight wasn't so bad that they would attack on sight. But just as quickly as they identified Sophie, they immediately turned to him.

"Who's this?" the guard asked, eyes narrowing.

"A friend," Sophie responded without hesitation.

"He's not from Lhant, is he?" one of them appeared tense, and Lambda noticed the barely perceptible movement of the guard's hand tightening his grip around his spear.

"No," Sophie replied with a shrug, and then she shoved Lambda forwards and past the gate, much to the confusion of the two guards.

Lambda waited till they were out of earshot before he spoke. "I suppose this isn't the standard treatment."

"You can't blame them for being suspicious," Sophie shot back.

No, he supposed he couldn't. After all, while his body may have the appearance of a human child, Lambda knew that it was far from what passed as 'normal'. Fodran humanoids were distinctive from the normal humans even on their planet, and here in Ephinea, already a far cry from that of Fodran culture, his manner of attire would obviously attract attention.

Lambda wished that he thought of this before they entered Lhant. He could have at least tried to change his form or his clothes, but hindsight was 20/20. At the very least, it seemed that Sophie's presence with him only brought out curiosity from the townsfolk, and they managed to make it to the Lhant manor unhindered, save for the occasional greeting thrown in Sophie's direction.

They were ushered into the house by a maid who told them that Asbel was in his rooms, recovering from a slight concussion. As she led them upstairs, Lambda looked around the manor with renewed curiosity, despite having seen it all before.

There was a distinguished veneer to the place, though the decor was definitely not as ornate as the castle in Barona. Models of cannons and the likes sat around, reminding any visitor that the Lhant family was, first and foremost, warriors and leaders. Still, there was an odd feeling of homeliness that exuded from the wooden walls and the soft carpets. It made him feel safe and welcome, like he actually belonged there.

"It's just a small knock on the head," the maid assured them when they reached the door to Asbel's room, spotting Sophie's frown. "Nothing a little bed rest can't cure."

She opened the door, and promptly fainted at the sight of Asbel and Cheria locked in a passionate embrace.

"Indeed," Lambda noted dryly as Sophie caught the fallen maid before she hit the floor.

Asbel and Cheria pulled apart quickly, their faces red. Lambda was all too aware that it was a situation just like this that woke him up, and turned his gaze away, trying not to show his discomfort. At least they were only just kissing, he thought with a mild shudder.

"I-I think I should probably help her," Cheria muttered, quickly disentangling herself from Asbel's side. She quickly slung the poor maid's arm over her shoulder, and with some difficulty, managed to pull the girl off the floor. She flashed Sophie and Lambda a smile before she disappeared down the corridor.

Lambda just wished that feeling of unease had disappeared with her.

Hesitantly, he peered at Asbel. The young lord looked no worse for the wear from the previous night, and while his features seemed older and more defined than Lambda remembered, his eyes looked just the same as the boy who willingly protected Lambda just minutes after defeating him in the harshest battle that he could ever recall.

But when Lambda looked at him, the fear he felt wasn't from facing Asbel in battle again.

"Lambda?" Asbel asked. Self-consciously, Lambda realized that in all their conversations, he had always kept his form indistinct. He wondered whether Asbel thought of him as a stranger.

"The same," he acknowledged.

"Sorry you had to see that," Asbel apologized with a shaky smile, stumbling slightly as he got off the bed and moved towards them.

"You should lock the door next time," Sophie suggested with a straight face.

If it was possible, Asbel's face grew even redder. He cleared his throat, trying to regain some measure of composure before he spoke again.

"I'm glad to see you safe, Lambda," he said, turning his warm smile to him.

"Likewise," Lambda responded shortly, uncertain what to say. He was sure Asbel was his friend, but Fodra's questions and thoughts of What-Ifs lingered in his mind, and unconsciously, he found himself clutching the white fabric of his clothes a bit too tightly.

Asbel wasn't the most perceptive light bulb in the box, but even he seemed to sense something was wrong.

"Are you ill?" he asked worriedly as he crouched down to Lambda's eye level. Without warning, he rested one hand against the skin of Lambda's forehead.

The sudden contact surprised him, and Lambda stepped away instinctively. His feelings of unease grew when he found himself looking at Asbel's wide, shocked- and both very blue- eyes.

"It's alright," a soothing voice said in his ear.

He glanced at Sophie, and she smiled back in return. She said nothing more, did nothing else, and he knew why- this was something he had to do himself. All she could do was to assure him that everything would be fine.

And why wouldn't it? Talking to a friend shouldn't have been more difficult than talking to an enemy.

Taking a deep breath, he met Asbel's puzzled gaze with a determined one. "I didn't want to come back," he admitted tentatively. "Sophie... said that you would hear me out."

"I see," Asbel said with a nod. There was a small frown on his face, but it didn't seem like he was about to burst into a rage yet. "What is it?"

Here Lambda found himself floundering. Fight or flight- those were the only two options he had ever known, but things were different now. He was so used to having the upper hand in their conversations, but now it was the reverse. Asbel didn't need anything from him- whereas now, for the first time in his life, Lambda found himself approaching someone else who held all the cards in his hand- even if he didn't know it.

"I want to remain free," Lambda stated as clearly as he could. "I don't want to return to dwelling as a mere shadow within someone else's mind."

The light in the young lord's eyes dimmed slightly at that. "I see," Asbel murmured. "I should have known."

Lambda flinched, stiffening, before Asbel, alarmed, started waving his arms and shaking his head frantically.

"That's not it!" he exclaimed. "I knew you couldn't leave, but I always thought to myself, wouldn't it be better for you to see the world through your own eyes?" He sighed ruefully. "If anything, I'm just angry at myself that I didn't consider your feelings better. I guess last night was a rude wake-up call."

Lambda could scarcely believe his ears. In fact, he felt as though all the wind had been knocked out of him.

"Believe me, it was never my intention to keep you as a prisoner," Asbel told him seriously. "We're friends, Lambda. You only needed to ask."

"If I were to ask now...?"

Asbel smiled. "Of course. It wouldn't be fair to bind you to a life you hated." His eyes were as kind as he remembered them, and Lambda knew Asbel well enough to know his smile was genuine. With a small chuckle he said, "You're not the same Lambda as the one I first met."

It was as if a heavy weight he didn't know he had been carrying melted off his shoulders. All the fear he had suddenly seemed so trivial and meaningless. Fodra had been _wrong. _

Sophie smiled at the stunned disbelief in his eyes.

"I thought you weren't able to maintain physical form without a host," Asbel said suddenly, as if the thought just occurred to him. He blinked, and stared at Lambda with renewed scrutiny.

"He's Lambda," Sophie assured him.

"Absorbing Fodra gave me more eleth than I know what to do with," Lambda explained. "Even if it continues to dissipate, at this rate, I would be able to maintain this form for a decade, at the very least, before needing to return to hibernation."

"What do you plan to do with ten years?" Asbel asked quietly, watching him carefully. At first, Lambda worried it was caution or second thoughts about letting him roam free, but when he spotted the glimmer of sadness in Asbel's face, he knew what it was.

Asbel was sad at the thought that he was leaving; at the thought that they might never see each other ever again.

Lambda had been hesitant as the thought formed in his mind, but now the idea felt _right. _

"I would like to stay here in Lhant," he murmured. It didn't make any logical sense, he had to admit. He was Lambda, and he had enough eleth to raze the entire town ten times over. He could have gone anywhere he wanted, done anything he wanted- but Lhant was where Asbel and Sophie were. And perhaps it was the residual thoughts he recalled from his time spent with Asbel, but something in him _wanted _to consider Lhant home.

Asbel's relief was obvious for all to see as he grinned brightly. "Of course," he said without hesitation, clapping Lambda on the shoulder.

Lambda tried to ignore the bubbling joy that was singing inside his head.

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It wasn't until much later that Lambda's thoughts finally calmed down. He lay flat on the bed, unable to sleep. Fading sunlight poured in from the open window, lighting the sparsely decorated room- _his _room.

Lambda wasn't sure when was the last time he ever had something that belonged to him and him alone. True, the room was just an unused guest room, but for the first time in his life, he realized that he didn't have to think about running if he were to be found, didn't need to keep on guard every minute of every day. It was a novel idea.

Asbel had quickly introduced him as a foundling that Sophie had chanced upon the night before, and told the people that he was now a ward of the Lhant household. There was some measure of curiosity at the fact, but for the most part, the townspeople, perhaps used to Asbel's habit of taking in strays, had simply shrugged their shoulders and went about their business as usual.

Of course, the immediate household was a different matter. Cheria had reacted to the news with a rueful smile, telling Lambda that if Asbel slipped up in caring for him, he need only tell her. Her grandfather seemed just as relaxed, and Asbel's mother looked almost joyous at the thought of having another child running around the house. Lambda hesitated to mention the fact that he was, in fact, more than a thousand years old.

Still, the need for secrecy confused him, and when he asked Asbel about it, the answer surprised him.

"People are still looking for you," the young lord told him seriously. "People still remember what happened four years ago."

"As they should," Lambda murmured.

Asbel shook his head. "You don't deserve a life being hunted and hated, Lambda," he said. "That's why I didn't tell the people. You should have a chance to live normally, for once."

Lambda sighed deeply. The thought was foreign to him. What did a normal life consist of? Compared to a life of constant running, it sounded idyllic; peaceful. Yet, Cornell had always attached such an importance to him growing up normally. There had to be something more to it, surely.

A sudden sound caught Lambda unawares. Sitting up, he realized it was the sound of the front door, and as he peered down from the window, he spotted Protos Heis- _Sophie, _he corrected himself- make her way into the garden. She had a watering can with her, and with a single-minded determination, she was tending to the flowers in the garden.

She was soon joined by Asbel and Cheria, and though they were too far away for Lambda to make out their conversation, he could tell that they were at ease. Happy.

"Is this what you wanted from me, Cornell?" Lambda wondered aloud.

The room, still and silent, held no answer. The trees didn't rustle, the wind didn't blow. But as he watched his new friends tend to their chores, Lambda had the oddest sensation that someone was smiling at him.

Perhaps this was a step in the right direction, a path off the lonely, beaten trail that he had forged for himself for a thousand years.

Lambda smiled back.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

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Market Day always seemed to bring out the life in most towns- and Lhant was no exception. It was a day of festivities, when people brought in their goods to trade, where performers flocked into the town, entertaining the mass audience. It was a celebration of good harvests and bounty, of peace and prosperity.

Lambda had been living in Lhant for about two weeks when the Market Day rolled around, and despite his protests, Asbel had insisted that he take a look. He had been so insistent that he had literally stood outside Lambda's room and refused to budge until he heard him out.

"I do not see the need for this," Lambda had murmured, watching from the window of his room as the townsfolk worked to prepare for the festival. "I do not require anything."

"It's not about needing something," Asbel had explained. "Market Day's when everyone's gathered together. It's the experience."

"Indeed," Lambda had frowned, unconvinced. "And you do not wish to go?"

Asbel winced then, his face red. "I... already made plans. With Cheria."

"Ah." Lambda coughed delicately, deciding that it was best not to ask what these 'plans' were.

"You should follow Sophie," Asbel advised him. "You won't get lost that way."

"I won't get lost in Lhant," Lambda had protested.

He was glad Asbel wasn't around to see him eat his words. Somehow, the town completely changed when Market Day came, and he found himself wandering through endless rows upon rows of stalls selling all manners of food and produce and weird little trinkets that came from some far-off lands. And then there were the people- there was literally no end to the population streaming in from who knew where. He had to admit- he had never been more thankful to see Sophie's purple head bobbing through the crowds than now.

She had been reluctant at first, and he knew she only agreed to accompany him because Asbel had somehow wrangled her into doing the job. But now she weaved in and out of the crowd, her face filled with a childish delight that gave Lambda a pang of wistfulness whenever he looked at her. She finally returned to Lambda's side with a bunch of goodies in her arms, munching on a half eaten croquette. Throughout the whole affair, they hadn't spoken more than a few words to each other. Understandable, Lambda figured. After all, this co-existence was new to both of them.

It was strange, Lambda thought, how he could pass through the crowd without anyone looking at him. Sure, a couple of people stared at him in curiosity, but they said nothing more than a gentle greeting, flashed him a warm smile, and went on their way. Asbel had already explained to the people that he suffered from a throat condition, so they seemed to disregard his low, rumbling voice and instead, treated him as some manner of child, with a hint of pity and sympathy for his 'orphan' status.

It made him feel exposed, open to danger. At first, he had been tense and wary, but as the day went on, he felt the tension leave his shoulders. For once, he could relax without worrying about someone plunging a dagger into his back, especially since his worst enemy was now his pseudo-bodyguard.

The fair itself was impressive, if only for the sheer amount of people. Not only were there people from the town itself, but the people from the outlying villages had also arrived to trade their wares. Then there were merchants that seemed to come from the far reaches of Strahta or Fendel, and Lambda found himself surrounded by more humans than he knew what to do with.

"Here," Sophie said suddenly, catching his attention by tossing something towards him.

Lambda caught it by instinct. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was an apple. He frowned in confusion and eyed the fruit warily, wondering if this was some trick of some sort. Confused, he glanced back at Sophie.

"You haven't eaten all day," she stated in response.

"My body does not require any physical sustenance," Lambda replied. "I absorb the eleth naturally from my surroundings."

Sophie frowned. "Eat it," she insisted.

Cautiously, he examined the apple. It didn't seem to be rotten or poisoned, as far as he could tell from the eleth. Not that he suspected it to be poisoned- he didn't think Sophie was capable of such underhanded tactics. But still, it looked different from most of the apples he had seen in Lhant- much larger and redder. He shot Sophie a warning look before biting into it.

It tasted sweet, and it was soft and juicy. His eyes widened in surprise. It had been so long since he had physically eaten something instead of breaking it down to its eleth that he had forgotten what it felt like to have food in his mouth. It felt uplifting.

When he glanced at Sophie again, she gave him a half-smile. "There's no fun in coming to a Market Day without eating anything," she said.

He inclined his head. "I submit to your expertise."

Her smile grew slightly. Gently tugging his hand, she led him towards some hastily propped up benches in a quiet corner of the town. They settled there for a while, both occupying the opposite ends of a single bench quite by instinct. Quietly, they munched on their respective snacks in an awkward silence as they watched the crowd go by.

"You look overwhelmed," Sophie finally said, halfway into her third pastry.

Lambda looked up from the apple. He shrugged. "I've never seen so many humans in one place before," he admitted.

Sophie looked at him incredulously. "Never?"

He shook his head. "Traveling through large human congregations means more danger. You never know when someone wants to kill you."

"Meant," Sophie corrected. She hesitated, lacing her fingers together. "You're not in danger anymore."

Lambda sighed. The crowd passed by, without heed to the two of them. It was a good feeling, he thought, to be able to roam where he wanted to go, do what he wished to do without being constantly on alert.

"No," he murmured softly, "I suppose not."

She frowned slightly as she watched him finish his apple. "This... isn't some sort of trick, right, Lambda?" she asked softly, almost imperceptible underneath the background noise.

"Do you think me capable of that?" he replied.

Her gaze scrutinized him unflinchingly. With a small sigh, she said, "You're different now. I hope."

He tried to hide his disappointment. Judging from her lack of response, he supposed he was successful. It was a good thing, he told himself inwardly, that she didn't think him as an enemy. Still, the thought that she couldn't fully trust him hurt, even if it was totally expected.

"Come on," she said, getting up. "We haven't seen the machine merchant yet."

The machine merchant, it seemed, was a person of some interest. According to Sophie, he appeared regularly on Market Day, bringing with him the strangest and newest inventions from all across the world. The local children were infatuated with his demonstrations, she said, which did all manner of things- create complete theatres made out of only light, or completely cook a dish just by inputting raw ingredients. To Lambda, it sounded farfetched, but seeing how enthusiastic Sophie was about it, he chose not to say anything.

However, they had barely stepped into the town square when suddenly Sophie paused in midstep.

"Something troubles you?" Lambda asked with a frown.

She shook her head. "I just remembered. There was a parcel Asbel wanted me to pick up." She hesitated for a while, then glanced at the square, where a crowd was gathering. "You go on ahead. I'll be just a moment."

He smirked. "You would trust to leave me to my own devices?"

She shot him a look. "Don't make me regret it," she said.

"I won't," he promised.

She nodded, and with one last, hesitant look at him, she was gone, ducking in between the stalls.

Lambda sighed as she left. The growing crowd made him reluctant to move in closer, and his body was far too short to see over people's heads. He debated simply following Sophie, but she _had _insisted. Finally, his caution gave way to his curiosity and he decided a little discomfort was a sufficient sacrifice to figure out what it was that so enthralled everyone in Lhant.

One advantage of his small size was that he was able to squeeze through the crowd far easier than a grown man, but he winced whenever he found himself in contact with another human body. It was as if he was a small fish struggling against a waterfall, but when he finally reached a spot where he could see the salesman without much trouble, he couldn't help but gasp.

The salesman himself was dressed like an outlandish jester from some unknown land, with bright colours and flamboyant clothes. He was young, perhaps in his mid-twenties, and he had a lazy smile as he observed the crowd. Lambda felt irritated the moment he lay eyes on the boy.

But as attention-grabbing as the young man was, there was no doubt the entire audience's attention was focused on the machine next to him. It was a huge, metallic contraption made out of various gears and tubes that seemed far more elaborate than any machine Lambda had seen on Ephinea. Hanging from an offshoot pipe was a sign saying, "Wonder of Wonders- Automatic Plant Growth within 5 seconds!"

Lamba arched an eyebrow at the audacious claim. Yet, he could almost understand the inner workings of the machine with a single glance. A seedling would be placed within the strange contraption's chamber, and it would be infused with eleth to accelerate its growth. Of course, the plant would produce much less than if it were grown naturally, but he supposed that the fact that it would grow almost 'automatically' was enough for most people to be amazed by it.

"Come one, come all!" the salesman was crying, clapping his hands enthusiastically. "Lo and behold, the newest invention from Fendel, the Automatic Plant Grower!"

Lambda briefly wondered why Fendel was still in the midst of a food crisis if such an invention was in its lands. He frowned as he studied the machine closer- a lot of eleth would be needed for it to function even once; far more than it looked like it could produce. Perhaps the machine was a failure and the salesman was, in fact, simply a con-artist. At any rate, it looked far more expensive than a normal person could afford.

"Simply place a young seedling into the chamber," the man was saying, lifting high a small potted plant, before opening a door at the contraption's side and tossing it in, "and pull this lever right here! Any volunteers? How about you, madam?"

A middle-aged housewife gasped when she was fingered by the salesman, and with much embarrassment, she was almost shoved up the stage by the crowd. Lambda watched with disinterest as the salesman worked his magic, telling the audience of the workings of the machine and the wonders of technology. If anything, he simply kept an eye out for whoever was aiding the salesman in his con.

"And now, madam, pull the lever!" the salesman decried with a grand gesture.

And then suddenly, everything went horribly wrong.

Lambda was a being of pure eleth, and as such, he knew something went wrong the moment the machine started. Eleth seemed to flow forth from nothing, so much so that he could see a curtain of fire eleth swirling around the machine where there was nothing before. With a start, he realized what was happening- the machine was using cryas from Fendel, which despite its huge harvest, was dangerously volatile, and for some reason, the cryas was being over-extracted.

Within minutes, the entire town square- nay, perhaps all of Lhant- would be caught in an explosion far more dangerous than any weapon the Ephineans had.

"Stop the machine!" he yelled, pushing himself to the front of the crowd. No one seemed to hear him above the roar of the spectators, or even acknowledged him. Nobody even seemed to notice anything was wrong. With desperation, he roared, "It's going to blow!"

He saw a few housewives give him puzzled glances before looking away. For once, Lambda wished that he could have gained someone's attention, but in the eyes of everyone around him, he was simply a child, perhaps a troubled one, acting out. For once, they ignored and dismissed him- a choice that was going to cost them their lives.

Then the machine started shaking, and the salesman, perhaps sensing for the first time that something was amiss, suddenly turned to look at his contraption. But Lambda knew it was already too late- whatever cryas was generating this much eleth was beyond rescue, and it would only continue pouring out eleth until it was too late. He had but moments to act.

He dropped his human guise immediately, letting his body disintegrate into a fog of eleth that easily bypassed the audience. But without physical form, he had no way to pull the salesman to safety, and he knew it. Much as he disliked the young man and his careless attitude, Lambda knew that he could allow any casualties. Quickly, so much so that he hoped that people hadn't noticed his momentary disappearance and reappearance, he condensed his body in front of the machine, pushing the salesman aside just in the nick of time as the first explosion occurred.

Lambda threw his entire will into stopping the eleth, reaching out with his arms in an attempt to buffet the wave of force. Yet the power behind the explosion was so great that even though he absorbed the blast, he was thrown backwards into the dirt, the salesman landing beside him.

He winced at the impact, but quickly got back onto his feet, even as people started crowding around him.

"Get back," he warned them. "It's not over!"

"Come on, then, boy!" a man cried, grabbing onto his hand with the full intention of dragging Lambda away.

"No, you don't understand!" Lambda cried, tugging against the larger human. "It'll take out the entire town unless I stop it!"

"What?" the salesman yelped. "How do you know that?"

"The cryas is still generating eleth!" he explained. "It's not done yet!"

There was a moment of indecision in the eyes of the people around him, but it was a moment too much. Already, Lambda could feel the heat rising in the air around him, could sense that the cryas was about to release a second wave of energy that only he could stop.

Asbel had warned him against revealing his identity, but there wasn't much of a choice.

He let out a roar, letting all manner of pretense disappear. He rose up from the crowd, assuming the form that struck terror into the hearts of many once more- a shadowy, lumbering being that seemed to have sprung out from the depths of darkness itself. It was harder for anyone to grab ahold of this body, towering far above the heads of mere humans, and the people around him seemed to fall back by his appearance alone.

Lambda spared himself a glance, and already he could see the people around him staring at him with terror. It hurt to see that in the eyes of people who, just the moment before, had been trying to look out for his safety. But, Lambda reminded himself, he had fully expected this to happen, and he wasn't about to let the sacrifice of his anonymity go to waste.

The second wave slammed into him like a sledgehammer, but he was ready. Raising both his arms, he simply willed the eleth to stop. He could sense every flicker of power, hear the singing sound of fire in the air. And quite abruptly, the shockwave stopped as it reached him, disintegrating into nothingness.

_Come to me,_ he whispered soothingly, _Come. _

The eleth eagerly responded, breaking away from the machine and the overflowing cryas, pouring away from the broken contraption and filling him with a warmth that reminded him of the summer sun. It felt gentle, yet Lambda knew that if he let his concentration slip for even a split-second, the eleth would congregate and explode. It took all his discipline to not look at the people behind him. He could explain, he thought, after he had saved their lives.

He sighed as the last of the eleth flowed through him, relaxing his stance. Yet he hardly turned when suddenly Sophie's sharp cry rang through his ears, and suddenly she was leaping up towards him, fists leading.

Caught off-guard, the first strike pushed him backwards, away from the crowd. Sophie herself had landed in front of them, her face a mask of absolute hatred as she stood protectively before the people.

And in her eyes, there was a despair that came from betrayal. He knew it. He could feel it now too, piercing him like a thousand arrows, a pain that felt greater than any battle wound he had sustained.

She thought he had turned against them. He felt regret that she had so little faith in him.

"Hold!" he cried, flinching as she took a step forward. "You misunderstand!"

"What have I misunderstood?" Sophie snapped back. "I could feel it. There was a great explosion of eleth and I came back as fast as I could, only to find you!"

Lambda couldn't trust himself to speak. With a sweeping gesture of his arm, he pointed towards where the broken machine now stood, smoke streaming from its many pipes. He wondered whether Sophie had gotten the message, but she stared back at him, confused.

It was a marked improvement over attacking him, he supposed. With a sigh, he let his form return to that of a human boy. The last thing he wanted, after all, was to incite even more fear and panic.

"The cryas was overstimulated," he explained, as briefly as he could. "I... I did what I could-"

He flinched as the first stone struck him in the shoulder, stumbling back. The second one followed soon after. He moved away, shielding his face, but through the gaps in his fingers, he could see that the panic and fear that had been present in the eyes of the audience had turned to realization- and then, to rage.

"You're _him!_" one of the townspeople screamed in rage as he hurled what seemed like a rotten egg at his face. "You're that monster!"

"You killed my son!"

"Monster!"

"Die!"

He could have thrown a barrier up easily, sent a shockwave to sweep the people off their feet as he made his escape. But something kept him rooted to that spot, unwilling to move, to even defend himself. Stones and all manners of produce continued to be hurled in his direction, and it hurt,but not as much as that stinging pain that had settled in his gut as he looked upon the people, and their rage. After all, his body would heal from any sustained damage.

His heart was another thing entirely.

He wanted them to understand. That was the only thought he had as his knees gave way. A strange feeling had seized him, and now he felt as though every limb in his body had been paralyzed, too heavy to even stand. And somewhere in the depths of his muddled mind, he wondered whether perhaps this treatment was all that he deserved.

Then the projectiles suddenly stopped hitting him. Looking up in surprise, he found himself staring at Sophie's back. She had interposed herself between him and the mob, hands outstretched protectively.

"What are you doing?" one of the men yelled, a stone waiting in his hand. "You attacked him first!"

"I was mistaken," Sophie said quietly, but firmly. "He saved your lives."

That quieted the crowd. Lambda could still sense the rage emanating out from the gathered population, but now they were confused. He could tell that they were reluctant to attack Sophie, and perhaps they did understand that, despite who and what he was, they had averted certain disaster solely because of his intervention. Whatever it was, they simply lingered awkwardly around, unwilling to move.

Sophie had no such reservations.

"Lambda," She called to him, sinking to his eye level. "Can you stand?"

He found himself looking away involuntarily. The image of her standing in front of the crowd with anger in her eyes felt burned into his mind like an unwanted brand. He... hated the feeling.

"I'm fine," he said hoarsely. He knew he had outlasted his welcome, and he ignored her proffered hand as he stood up. Unfortunately, despite his self-regenerative abilities, for some reason, his legs didn't wish to move as he wanted, and he found himself stumbling over his own feet.

Sophie caught him instinctively, and despite his intentions to leave before any more chaos broke out, he found himself being guided back towards the manor. All the way, the crowd stepped aside to let them pass, shrinking back away from them- from him- in fear. Word spread quickly, it seemed.

The day started out so nicely, and now... now everything was ruined.

"I'm sorry-" Sophie began.

"Don't," he said brusquely, averting his eyes from her face. "Please."

Sophie did nothing; said nothing. Yet he could feel her regret. If he looked at her right now, she would be watching him with sorrow. Yet, there was an unwanted ache in his chest that dragged up broken promises and broken feelings.

It was far too painful, far too soon.

They trudged back to the manor in silence.

* * *

A few days after Market Day, Bailey came to Lhant manor.

Lambda had been recuperating from the whole ordeal, wholly certain that Asbel would banish him once he was fit enough to leave. Why the young lord hadn't kicked him out the moment Sophie told him what had transpired was beyond him, but he knew that Asbel would be taking a huge risk harboring him, now that his identity had been revealed- a risk that no sane, rational man would take.

He had been halfway down the stairs when he heard raised voices coming from the study. He was merely curious at first, but when he heard a mention of his name, a chill ran down his spine. Surreptitiously, he crept down the remaining length of staircase and pressed his ear against the door.

"My lord, with all due respect, you have to face the facts," a voice was saying. Lambda identified it as Bailey, Asbel's head man-at-arms. "Lambda's track record is far from pristine- he almost destroyed the world, for heaven's sake. Sophie almost died because of him!"

There was a pause. Lambda imagined Asbel thinking heavily, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. Finally, the lord's reply was a crisp, "I know."

"The townspeople are angry that we're sheltering him," Bailey said. "Plenty of us lost friends and family because of the nova monsters and the eleth shortage. At this rate, they might take up arms in revolt."

"Lambda saved their lives," Asbel countered. "In full view of everyone, from what I heard. He's changed."

"How do you know that he's not playing you?" Bailey retorted. "He played King Richard and almost brought our country to ruin!" In a softer voice, he said, "My lord- _Asbel_- maybe you're right, but what if you're wrong? Can you truly say that you're doing the right thing, sheltering something like him?"

"And would it be right to cast out someone who trusts you, Bailey?" Asbel asked quietly. "Believe me, I know Lambda, and I know his intentions. He could have easily killed me- and all of us- at any time."

"Even so," Bailey responded, "you know that's not how the rest of the world will see it."

"And if I cast him out, they'll just try to kill him again," Asbel said. "And what then? He can't _die, _Bailey. It'll just be an endless cycle of violence that'll do more harm to him, and to everyone else. I can't just let things go back to that again."

"And if you shelter him, there's a high chance that the rest of the world will become your enemy," Bailey retorted. "Lord Asbel, I understand your intentions, but you're harboring a criminal. Can you honestly sleep well if the rest of the world marches their armies on Lhant? Your duty-"

"I know my duty, Bailey!"

Lambda was startled by Asbel's shout. So startled, in fact, that he stumbled and ended up falling straight through the door.

He found himself caught in the crosshairs, with both Asbel and Bailey staring at him with no small amount of surprise. Calmly, he folded his arms, nonplussed.

"You were eavesdropping," Bailey stated, narrowing his eyes.

"I was," Lambda agreed. "This matter concerns me, too. If I am to leave Lhant, I should be forewarned, do you not agree?"

The man-at-arms sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He gave a despairing look at Asbel.

"We'll continue this another day," Asbel replied to the unasked question. "Thank you for your concern, Bailey."

"_That_ is my duty, Lord Asbel," the man-at-arms replied with a thin smile. He bowed slightly, and then with a sharp turn of his heel, he left. Soon, the manor was quiet again. Deadly, unsettlingly quiet.

Asbel was the first to break the silence. With a sigh, he turned to Lambda. "You shouldn't have had to hear that," he said gently.

"No, he's right," Lambda murmured. "It was because of me that your world was almost destroyed. That you and your friends were brought through much suffering. I do not deserve your hospitality, or your friendship."

"Well, you're stuck with it," Asbel responded with a small smile. "I have no intention of throwing you out. I know how much you've suffered too. You're no saint, but you've saved my town. Two wrongs don't make a right, and I trust you. And eventually, everyone else will, too."

Asbel's smile was warm, reassuring. It reminded Lambda of Cornell's own smile, of that feeling of being protected. How could he come to think that Asbel would have cast him out to save his status?

"You're a fool," he said.

Asbel grinned. "I know.**"**

* * *

**.**

_Thanks for reading~ Any constructive criticism to help me improve would be greatly appreciated!_


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

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**.**

Lambda rarely left the mansion after that.

Oh, he_ said _he would, but there would always be things for him to do, or excuses he could make. And every time he did so, he would see a silent understanding in their eyes. Nobody pushed him, but he knew that they were watching him with pity, saying nothing merely out of respect for his pride. He supposed he was grateful for that.

He started spending more and more time in the study. At first, it was because it was the one place that Asbel tended to frequent while he was in the mansion (having a pile of paper work that rivaled the height of Mt Zavhert), but then he started reading the books. The study contained a huge collection of books that had been written since the days of Asbel's grandfather, and if he feared the world outside the mansion, he was enamored by the worlds within those books.

As the first year passed, the original fear that the townspeople seemed to hold against him faded, but on the few occasions he left the mansion, the animosity in the air hung so thick that Lambda could have choked on it. At the very least, they never attacked him- perhaps out of respect for Asbel, or out of caution for what he could do- and after a while, it seemed that all the townspeople would do was to be wary of him, speaking of 'Asbel's ward' in hushed tones when they thought he wasn't listening.

Word spread quickly. Lambda happened to be in the study when King Richard and Hubert dropped by for a visit a few months after the turn of the new year.

"The other lords aren't happy," Richard had informed Asbel. "I fear it's only a matter of time before someone comes after Lambda- and Lhant."

"Even in Strahta, the politicians are worried if Lhant has more power than it can handle," Hubert said, his perpetual scowl looking more menacing than usual. "Some have even suggested declaring war."

"I hope you talked them out of that," Asbel said with a heavy sigh.

"Not easily," his brother responded with a wry smile.

"Regardless, both of you should be careful," Richard insisted, his eyes flicking over to Lambda.

Lambda had simply nodded then, unwilling to trust himself to speak.

It had only added more reason for him to not leave the mansion.

Fodra had found this infinitely amusing. While he was awake, she would leave him alone, but everytime he closed his eyes to sleep, she would be there in his mindscape, waiting.

"Even if you aren't trapped physically," she had said, taunting him in his dreams, "you're still nothing more than a caged animal."

Lambda had said nothing, trying to ignore how her words stung.

She merely chuckled at his unease. "Surely you're not happy with this."

"I am not," he had agreed. "But there is nothing I can do."

Fodra gave him an odd look. "Happiness is a fickle thing," she had whispered, before vanishing quietly into the darkest corners of his mind.

Lambda sighed heavily as he closed the thick tome he had been reading. Trying to distract himself from his worries had not worked no matter what he did, and no amount of reasoning could help him come to a comfortable conclusion.

He spared a glance outside the window overlooking Lhant. No matter how many times he looked at it, the town never stayed the same. There was always something going on- the bustling activity of merchants in the markets, the farmers coming home from bringing in their wheat, the militia training in the town square... it always felt like he lived in another world, and now, even more so.

It was just a few days till Asbel and Cheria's wedding, and the mansion was in complete chaos. Frederic had told him it was mostly Lady Kerri's fault- she had insisted on no expense being spared, and as a result, the maids and menservants were running around trying to pull out the most grandiose wedding that had ever graced Lhant. To Lambda, it just meant that he stayed out of the way of the servants lest he face Lady Kerri's ire (which scared him, to be honest), and that he spent more time in the study than usual.

It also meant that mostly everyone avoided the study since he was there. Thus, when the door opened suddenly and Sophie stuck her head in, Lambda was slightly surprised.

"Asbel's checking the granary today," Lambda said, turning his attention to the shelves once more.

"I didn't come here to find Asbel," Sophie replied, stepping into the room. "I came to find you."

Lambda paused. He was in the midst of reading a fascinating series on the variation of Strahtan pottery styles, his finger poised above the spine of Volume IV.

"Me?" he echoed, sparing Sophie a glance.

He frowned in confusion as she stalked towards him, her brow furrowed. Briefly, Lambda wondered what exactly he did to enrage her.

She stopped just in front of him, and Lambda was all too aware that in his current form, he was at least a few inches shorter than her. It irked him that he had to look up to see her face.

"You hide here a lot," she remarked.

Lambda inclined his head. "Yes."

"Asbel's wedding is in three days."

"I noticed." He picked up _Mysteries of Strahtan Pottery: Volume IV _and turned away.

"Are you going to hide then too?"

Lambda paused, his hand on the cover. Grandiose weddings usually meant a lot of people, and a lot of socializing. It also meant that he would be in full view of everybody. Out in the open, being watched.

An old memory of being trapped in a test tube as a dozen pair of eyes stared at him flashed through his mind.

"That is none of your concern," he said, more sharply than he had intended.

"Of course it is."

It was enough to give him pause. When he glanced at her again, she was watching him with something akin to worry.

"Lambda, I've known you the longest out of everyone." Sophie lowered her gaze. "I know after... You're hurting. And I'm sorry."

He flinched, briefly wondering how much of an open book he must be. He turned away from her, trying to pretend that the words meant nothing to him. "I do not need your pity."

"I am not," Sophie insisted. "But what you're doing is exactly the same as returning to Asbel's mind. You can't hide in here forever."

He felt angry. What would she know? How would she understand what it felt like? How could anyone comprehend a thousand years' worth of guilt and suffering that held him back from trying to reach out to anyone, for fear of seeing that same horror that he beheld in the eyes of everyone around him? How could she know how it felt when he looked at her, and saw only hate?

"Why do you even care?" he asked, his voice dangerously low as he glanced over his shoulder.

She didn't even flinch, her expression resolute. "Because we're friends."

That stole any rage he possibly had towards her. With a heavy sigh, he found himself slumping against the window sill.

"You need not pretend," he said bitterly. "We both know that's not true."

She frowned, and settled into Asbel's chair, facing him. "It's not pretend," she said. "You said it yourself."

"What I said was a hope that I could overcome a millenia of memories with an apology." Lambda shook his head. "Much as we try, it's... difficult. For both of us."

Sophie lowered her gaze. She didn't deny it, and Lambda knew she could not. After all, there was always that wary edge she had with her when she was around him now, that sense that she didn't completely trust him.

"It's strange," she murmured. "When I look at you, I feel tense. Like I need to fight you."

Lambda tried to smirk. "Perhaps a few rounds in the yard would help. I won't even try to kill you."

To his surprise, her gaze shot up and caught his own. In her eyes, he saw something he had never glimpsed before- despair.

"Don't," she said, her voice almost a whisper. "Don't say that. We're friends."

Her words were soft, but intense- desperate, almost. He felt a twinge of guilt.

Her eyes stared at him with a pained expression he couldn't understand.

He sighed softly. "It was meant in jest."

She seemed to have understood, but now she seemed to shrink into the chair. Her shoulders looked slumped in defeat, her gaze was downcast, and her fingers were tightly laced together in her lap. It was as if she bore the weight of the world on her tiny frame. And she had, hadn't she? The researchers who created her had about as much care for her as they did for him. He knew that much from Emeraude's memories.

Lambda winced in sympathy. He hadn't realized how deeply he affected Sophie, and the guilt this morning tasted bitter. The understanding settled in subtly, but when it did, something clicked in his mind. She was almost his complete opposite, and yet...

"We're the same, aren't we?" Lambda asked quietly, trying to pull her out of silence.

She glanced at him in confusion.

"We've both suffered greatly at each other's hands," he explained. "We've both experienced far more loss than can be fit into a human lifetime."

"And we'll see more," Sophie replied, barely audible.

Lambda frowned. "Are you... happy? Even though we- you'll lose everything?"

She seemed to consider the question thoughtfully. Lambda could see the sorrow on her face, but beneath that, there was a resolution. She had come to terms with this a long time ago. Briefly, Lambda wondered whether that was what gave her the strength to be happy, to live in the fullest.

"I'll always remember Asbel and Cheria, and everyone else," she said at last. "And I'll always remember the small things- like the harvest festivals, or Asbel's wedding. Lady Kerri's cake. The children playing in the river. Tending to the garden. Those little things that make me feel happy.

"And even if I lose all of them eventually," she murmured, smiling softly. "It'll be enough to last me through the bad times, to give me something to live for. That's my hope." She turned her gaze to him. "That's why I want you to stop hiding, Lambda."

He wasn't expecting her to turn the question back on him. He felt as though he was on the cliff's edge, as though he was on the brink of understanding something important. But try as he might, her words sounded like something out of a poetry book. Light and fancy, but without substance.

"I don't understand," he rumbled.

She hesitated, as if uncertain what to say.

Then she smiled simply, though something about it struck Lambda as queer. "It's fine," she said with a shake of her head, and he knew the conversation was over. She stood up, brushing her skirt. "I should find Asbel."

"The granary," Lambda murmured.

She nodded and turned, saying nothing more. Lambda watched her carefully as she left.

Cornell had taught him that smiles were expressions of joy, but the one Sophie wore was one of a deep, unyielding sadness.

A feeling of loneliness overwhelmed him then, and he forced himself to turn back towards the window, where the warm afternoon sunlight streamed through the musty old room. It did nothing to drive away the heavy thoughts that weighed him down.

With a sigh, he swore that he would turn up for Asbel's wedding, come what may. He owed them- and her- that much, at least.

* * *

It was almost exactly a year later when Lambda found himself sitting in between a panicking Asbel and Sophie out in the hallway.

Normally, Lambda would have found Asbel's frantic pacing up and down the corridors amusing, but this time, it was different. He knew for a fact that even with the best help Windor could afford, there was always a chance that something could go wrong. And for Asbel, today, that meant that he could lose everything he treasured.

"It's taking too long," Asbel muttered. It was a cool winter day, but Lambda could see the beads of sweat rolling down the young lord's face.

"It'll be fine," Sophie said gently. "Cheria's strong, and the doctor didn't think there'd be any complications."

Asbel nodded, but when Lambda caught his eyes, he knew he didn't believe that.

After all, Cheria was giving birth today.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of waiting, there was the sound of something crying loudly, incessantly. For a moment, Lambda wondered whether that was normal, but nobody dared move or speak. It was a while longer before one of the maids opened the door. Immediately, Asbel turned to her, his eyes almost half-crazed in desperation.

"The mother and the child are both in good health," the maid replied to the unasked question, smiling brightly. "Would you like to come inside?"

There was no word to describe the joy on Asbel's face when he spotted Cheria and the baby, resting on the bed. Lambda felt a small hint of jealousy, but when he stopped to appreciate the scene, he couldn't blame Asbel. The midwives and the maids quietly excused themselves, leaving only the four of them- and the baby- in the room.

Cheria greeted them with a warm smile, and swaddled in her arms was a pink lump of flesh that was her child. "It's a he," she told Asbel as they reached her bedside.

"Alton," Asbel said. He leaned over and kissed Cheria's forehead, pulling her into half an embrace. He glanced over at Lambda and Sophie with a small smile that seemed to exude the warmth of a thousand suns. "Come over here, you two."

Lambda hesitated for a split second, but it wasn't like he could disobey a direct order like that. Cautiously, he approached the bed.

Baby Alton's skin was pink and wrinkled, and he was far tinier than Lambda would have imagined. He had been squalling earlier, but now he observed the world with the calmest blue eyes that Lambda had seen, as if he was fully aware that he was the son of a lord.

"It's nice to meet you, Alton," Sophie said, reaching out a hand in greeting in jest.

As if on cue, the baby gurgled and waved his little arms, slapping Sophie's hand in sheer coincidence. Asbel grinned.

"He's a strong child," he said. "Watch over your younger brother, alright, Sophie?"

Sophie nodded, and Lambda felt yet another pang of jealousy. It all felt so happy, so normal, but it also felt like he was merely watching again, like this was a dream that was too good to come true-

And then he felt something touch his hand.

It was the baby, and he was watching Lambda without fear nor anger. Just two blue eyes with a deep understanding and acceptance that went beyond all cognitive thought- a simple trust in everything and anything- even him.

It shook Lambda's world.

Alton laughed, unafraid.

"It looks like Alton likes you," Cheria remarked with a warm smile. "I never would have imagined you as an elder brother, Lambda."

"Indeed," Lambda murmured. "Greetings to you, Alton Lhant."

The baby clapped his hands in mirth and a weird sensation that he later identified as joy bubbled up in his heart.

The world suddenly felt brighter, and even though it was in the middle of winter, Lambda felt as though he had woken up in the warmth of the summer sun.

"You're... smiling, Lambda," Asbel said, almost in amazement.

So he was, Lambda realized with a start. Quite without his notice, his face had contorted into the expression. In another time, he would have considered letting his guard down a weakness, but now, amidst the safety of the Lhant family, he didn't feel vulnerable at all. In fact, he felt as though all the doubt and weary fear had faded away, leaving only this bubbling warmth that filled his entire consciousness.

With a start, he realized this was what happiness meant.

* * *

Sophie had always considered the manor's garden to be her own sanctuary. She spent quite a fair bit of time planting, watering, and recording the growth of her plants, always ensuring that they were healthy and strong. But she also spent hours just sitting in the garden, just enjoying the peace and tranquility.

If someone had asked Sophie why she cared so much about flowers, she would have struggled to find the answer. She had woken up in a field of flowers, and had been named after a flower. To her, they were a symbol of fragile life, eking out an existence in a harsh and cruel world for a short while. In some ways, flowers reminded her of everything that was important to her.

She treasured the moments she spent in the garden. Sometimes Lady Kerri would come and help her tend to the plants. Frederic would simply be there whenever she seemed to have a bit of trouble, asking if she needed a hand. Cheria and Asbel would come to talk to her in the early sunset. The other villagers liked to stop and rest there at times, watching the flowers sway gently in the Lhant breeze.

The garden, for lack of another word, was _her _place. Where all her troubles disappeared.

Thus, when Lambda appeared in her garden soon after Alton was born, Sophie felt a sudden dread that could not be explained.

It wasn't as though she _hated _Lambda. But every time she looked at him, she would remember the horrible things he had done to the world and the people she cared about. She really did want to forgive and forget, having seen his own vulnerabilities and his own guilt, and it hurt her that she couldn't seem to completely trust Lambda. But there was always that whispering voice in the corner of her mind that sounded far too much like Emeraude for her liking, asking whether she was certain that he was genuine in his intentions.

She would feel the guilt she had, borne from attacking him for saving the lives of the Lhant people, hearing the strangled sound of his voice as he tried to protest his innocence.

After their conversation in the library a year ago, Sophie had wondered whether she should have dragged him out by force, tried to truly befriend him. But each time she glanced into those red eyes, she recalled memories of numerous dangerous battles, of a desperate need to destroy the one that stood before her. Of a barrier between them that she wasn't sure she could ever overcome.

So she kept back, and hoped that eventually she could look at Lambda without feeling the urge to fight.

After all, all they had between them were painful memories.

But when Lambda stepped out of the mansion that fine day, she could see the hesitation and fear in his eyes as he glanced about warily. She knew it was just as difficult for him as it was for her, and so she didn't say anything until he reached her side.

"It's odd to see you out and about," she remarked as he approached. She had been in the middle of planting the new sopheria seeds, but had scarcely started digging when he appeared. So she stood up and took off her gloves, turning to look at him- part out of curiosity , part out of caution.

He shrugged wordlessly, and she could see a faint blush on his cheeks. "I needed the fresh air," he rumbled, his deep voice low and uncertain. His short, teal hair waved gently in the wind, his red eyes downcast. To anyone else, he would have looked like a perfectly innocent- if somewhat strange- boy. Hardly the intimidating figure of her memories.

"Oh," she had said in response. There was nothing else to say to that, she figured, and so she turned back to the task at hand- until he spoke again.

"I wanted... to thank you."

That took her by surprise. She spun- only to find herself staring straight into his red eyes.

His expression betrayed his surprise at his own words, but too quickly, his eyes regained their guarded look. The significance of that wasn't lost on Sophie. She knew it, after all- Lambda was just as afraid as she was, afraid to try to establish a relationship that wasn't based on trying to kill each other. But he was trying, and she wouldn't turn him away for that.

He recovered first. "Last year, what you said in the library... I finally understood," he muttered, quiet without his usual bravado.

"Oh," she repeated, unsure what to say. "Are you happy now?"

He smiled almost imperceptibly. Perhaps he wasn't even aware he was doing it, but when she looked at that expression, she saw true warmth that was different from the Lambda she had once knew.

"I am not unhappy," he decided. "You were right. I cannot hide away forever. And besides, it feels better to stand here in the garden rather than watch from the study's window."

"Of course," Sophie replied with a shrug. "You can't smell flowers from indoors."

Lambda laughed then. It was a deep, throaty laugh that seemed more suited to an older, bigger man than a small child. To any other person, it would have been terrifying and dissonant. But when he laughed then, Sophie felt the dread she had been carrying drip away.

"This garden has benefited much from your care," he said. "It's revitalizing."

Sophie couldn't help but smile. "You should be nice more often, Lambda."

His cheeks colored slightly, and he turned away from her. He wasn't used to this, Sophie figured. Being nice, and being treated well in return... It was no wonder that he had turned out the way he did. All of a sudden everything seemed to click into place- Lambda wasn't just the singular entity she had always believed him to be. And despite everything that had happened to him, everything that had made him hate the world, he was still hoping. Beneath the mean, sarcastic veneer, Sophie could see a young boy that was reaching out to someone for understanding... reaching out to her.

He wasn't her enemy. He hadn't been one in years. And she was a fool for not realizing it sooner.

Quite suddenly, he spoke.

"I promise you that you won't ever be alone."

His voice was low, but there was a determination behind his words. He wasn't looking at her, but there was no doubt that he was addressing her.

"I'll be always there to support you," he continued. "To help you."

She was speechless. He looked at her again, his red eyes watching her with a kindness and strength that reminded her of Asbel.

"We're friends, are we not?"

He was trying. There was no reason why she shouldn't, as well.

"We are," she nodded.

She was rewarded by one of his rare, glowing smiles. Those red eyes that had always been so terrifying suddenly seemed to crinkle with gentle warmth, and his face seemed more alive in the light of the evening sun. For the first time, Sophie realized how... human Lambda looked.

She wished he always looked like that.

Lambda stayed for a while, watching as she worked, before Frederic called him back inside. She remained outside for a while longer, thinking about what had just transpired.

It wasn't until he had left that she realized there was no sigh of relief, no need to let her guard down. Somehow, Lambda had managed to slip past her caution and crack it utterly without her knowing it. He hadn't done anything unusual, hadn't begged or pleaded or forced her in any way... it just happened.

They had been the worst enemies, Sophie thought. But perhaps they could also be the best of friends.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

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After Alton was born, the entire Lhant household was plunged into chaos.

Infants, Lambda learned, were far from little cherubs of peace and joy. They were noisy, they were loud, and they were always in need of attention. For the first few months after his birth, Alton kept the entire household up for nights on end. The morning always revealed a house of tired looking faces. Even Asbel, renowned for his ability to sleep through anything, looked groggy-eyed, and Lambda had even caught him snoozing into his diplomatic documents at least once or twice.

Exhaustion was an unknown to Lambda. As long as there was eleth around him, he could maintain his strength. His body was merely a facade, and he did not need to rest as humans did, yet when he thought of trying to take care of Alton, he hesitated. Despite his long life, he had never once learned how to care for an infant, and the thought of something- of some_one_- depending on him so completely as a child could scared him.

Besides, it wasn't as if human children weren't always troublesome to deal with, he rationalized, and both Lady Kerri and Frederic were experts in child-rearing, so his help wasn't exactly needed.

So he returned to hiding around the house in all the various dark nooks and crannies that were available to him. Occasionally, he would sit outside in the garden and watch Sophie work, or listen to Asbel rant about the latest pile of documents in his study. And sometimes, when he was absolutely certain nobody was watching, he would peer into the nursery, making sure that nothing was amiss and that Alton was safe.

It was during one of those times that Cheria caught him.

He had been passing by when he had heard sounds and movement coming from Alton's room. Curious, he peered in, taking absolute care not to surprise the inhabitants within. There, he saw Cheria humming a lullaby to Alton, all alone in the nursery, seemingly distracted by her child.

He had been absolutely certain he was being his quietest, having reverted to a dark mist instead of a solid body. Yet somehow, Cheria had sensed his presence and glanced over at where he floated, lurking by the door.

"Why don't you come in, Lambda?" she asked cheerfully, as if it wasn't strange to have a dark fog lurking at the edge of your child's nursery.

Hesitantly, he stepped into the room with a solid form, wincing slightly as the bright moonlight struck his face. The nursery was large by most standards- a room big enough to rival the study, and with all manner of luxury that any child would have wanted. Huge windows let the moonlight in, and soft carpets covered every inch of the floor. A warm fire burned in the hearth, brushing away the chill air.

Cheria held baby Alton in her arms, swaddled in a warm quilt that she no doubt had sewn herself, settled near the crackling fire. She smiled as he stepped into the light, her eyes tired, yet warm. It was already long past midnight, and her hair was in a complete mess. Yet, she held herself with a regal calm befitting her status as the lady of the manor.

"I did not mean to intrude," Lambda began.

"You didn't," Cheria said. She spoke quietly, so as to not awaken Alton, but there was no mistaking the command in her eyes as she gestured for him to sit.

"It's late," he said as he settled into a nearby chair.

"Tell that to Alton," the redhead healer remarked with a wry smile. "He was wailing for hours before I got him to quiet down. Poor dear," she said with a chuckle, regarding her child with loving eyes, "after I fed him, he fell right asleep. He must have been tired from crying."

"But now that he sleeps, should you not return to your own slumber?"

Cheria rolled her eyes. "Can't a mother spend time with her child, Lambda?"

"I did not mean-"

Cheria laughed, warm and gentle. "It's fine, Lambda," she said. "Thank you for your concern. Still, shouldn't I be the one asking you why you're not in bed?"

Lambda shrugged. "I do not need sleep," he said. "I do so simply to recharge my eleth, not because my body is exhausted."

She nodded in understanding. "It still doesn't explain why you're here," she remarked off-handedly.

Lambda narrowed his eyes. Despite the ease in her demeanor, there was no mistaking the sharp, piercing look that the Lady of Lhant regarded him with. She smiled encouragingly.

He pursed his lips, unsure how to answer. He didn't know what drove him to check on Alton as much as he did, nor could he figure out why he worried so much over Alton when he knew that the child had the best protection and love the people of Lhant could afford. He just didn't feel safe not knowing how the baby fared.

"You've grown taller," Cheria observed abruptly.

With a blink, Lambda realized that indeed, he had. At one point, he had been short enough that the crib would have towered over him. Yet, somehow, it seemed his mind had grown used to the fact that he had changed- that he was no longer the young life form that Cornell had found- and his body, being a representation of what his mind thought him to be, had reflected that change. It had been so subtle that he hadn't even realized it until Cheria brought it up.

He tried to shrug nonchalantly, ignoring the part of him that was confounded that something like this could have escaped his notice. He was Lambda, and being Lambda meant that even if he was surprised, he would pretend everything was going according to plan. "What of it?" he asked.

Cheria watched him carefully, her gentle smile hiding her intentions. He knew she wasn't fooled by his bravado. "You look dependable," she mused. "When you first started staying with us, you looked so frightened."

Lambda folded his arms. "I did not," he harrumphed. "Fear is beneath me."

Cheria laughed at his indignation. "Yes, I'd imagine so," she smirked. "You're not scared of anything, right, Lambda?"

He looked away, well aware of the heat in his cheeks. It irked him that a woman- a mere mortal, so much younger than him- dared to talk to him in such a manner. And yet, despite that, he felt... happy.

"Would you like to hold him?" she asked suddenly.

Lambda looked up, startled. Cheria's gaze was kind as she waited for his response.

"I-" he began, but his speech failed him. That she would trust him with her child went against everything he could consider- here he was, the monster that her people so hated, and yet...

"Thank you," he said hoarsely, quietly.

Cheria smiled. "Gently now," she said. "Remember to support his neck."

"Like this?" Lambda frowned, trying to mimic her arms.

"Just like that," she nodded, and before he knew it, Cheria seized her chance and slid Alton into his arms before he could hesitate.

Lambda found himself staring at an infant. It was only now that he realized how small the babe was, fitting snugly in his arms. He was all too aware of the child's weight and the warmth of the quilt, and all of a sudden, a pang of fear shot through him. Even if he had grown (albeit unknowingly), he was only slightly larger than a thirteen-year-old child. What if he dropped Alton by accident? What if he hurt the child?

"You're doing fine, Lambda," Cheria assured him, perhaps sensing his panic. "Just relax. You won't drop him."

He glanced at the healer. She was smiling- one that was motherly, encouraging. Happy. For a moment, he wondered if this was what normality felt like. To be loved by a family, cared for by a mother. A strange thought passed through his mind then- what if Emeraude had seen him as more than a test subject? Would she, too, have watched him with the same expression Cheria now bore as she watched her child?

He frowned at the thought, glancing into the flames.

"You've been checking on him all this while, haven't you?" Cheria's soft voice shook him out of his brooding thoughts. The healer seemed to not have noticed his behaviour, speaking calmly and gently. She smiled at his confusion. "Alton, I mean."

Lambda sighed. "I did not think I was such an easy read," he murmured ruefully.

"Oh, I wouldn't know about that," Cheria replied with an easy smirk. "Asbel and the maids have spotted you lurking around here plenty of times." Her expression softened at his shock. "It's been a relief to know that you're watching over him, you know? Alton couldn't ask for a better older brother."

He felt his eyes widen. He had no idea his presence was so easy to detect, nor did he realize that such a large number of people had known. But more importantly, the thought that Cheria and Asbel felt safe knowing that he was watching over Alton- the thought that they_ depended _on him, that she thought of him as Alton's _brother_- struck a far deeper chord than he could have imagined.

He had been so used to being the one that people was frightened of, and for so long, he didn't need to think otherwise. That there were people who trusted him with their well-being was a strange feeling to consider. Inwardly, he felt a twinge of shame. All this time, he could have helped so much more, and nobody would have thought poorly of him for doing so.

"Your words do me great honour," Lambda said softly, lowering his gaze. "Far greater than I deserve."

She rose from her seat then, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. When he looked at her, she was watching him with the same gaze she used when she was talking to Sophie or Alton.

"You don't have to be afraid, Lambda," she said, gently but firmly. "We're here for you now."

"I am not afraid," he muttered, averting his gaze. His cheeks still felt warm.

"Of course," Cheria agreed- a bit too readily, he thought. With a last, gentle smile, she plucked Alton out of his arms. "Go to sleep, Lambda. It's late."

Lambda knew a dismissal when he heard one. Yet, he felt no anger nor resentment, merely a warm gratitude that Cheria would have allowed him such liberty. A part of him wanted to linger at the fire a bit longer, watching the mother and her child, but he knew that this wasn't his place.

Still, he wished it could be. He paused at the door, turning slightly. Cheria was watching him still, Alton sleeping soundly in her arms. Her smile was gentle, accepting. Lambda knew, then, why Asbel loved her more than any other.

"Thank you for- everything," he said.

Cheria's chuckled. "Of course."

* * *

It had started out slowly. At first, it was a single, furtive (for Lambda) request to help the nursemaids when Alton was throwing a temper tantrum. Then, it was an excuse that he simply liked the nursery more than the library since Alton didn't throw important documents everywhere and start tearing the entire room apart in a foolish attempt to find what he had lost. But slowly, Lambda gave up coming up with excuses and simply appeared in the nursery, much to the amusement of the Lord and Lady of Lhant and the confusion of their subordinates.

Frankly, Sophie was surprised Lambda even knew how- and was willing- to change soiled napkins. She was startled, along with the majority of the household, but Lambda was adamant about helping out with Alton's care. The maids were hesitant at first, but a quick scolding by Lady Kerri soon got them to accept Lambda's help.

A small part of her was suspicious originally, but as the weeks turned into months and then a year, Alton continued to be the picture of perfect health and growth. That wasn't to say Lambda completely took over the nursemaids' jobs- he would continue disappearing for long periods of time into whatever forsaken cellar he found whenever his help simply wasn't needed, but it soon became a normal sight to see him with the child, who seemed to love him despite his ever-serious and brooding demeanor.

If anything, at least it reconciled him with the majority of the household staff. After a month or two, the maids didn't shirk away from him any longer when he walked down the hallways, and sometimes the cook would even offer him an extra pastry or two. Sophie made certain of the fact that Lambda didn't know that she knew little anecdotes about how he so enjoyed eating snacks when nobody was around.

Sometimes, when she accidentally stumbled across Lambda, she would catch the faint trace of a smile on his face, and eventually, the guarded look he usually held about him softened. He came to the garden more frequently, and despite her initial misgivings, Sophie thought that the relationship between her younger brother and her once-archenemy seemed to be beneficial to all concerned.

"He seems happier," Asbel noted one day, as the two of them watched Lambda and Alton playing in the garden. Well, Sophie thought, it was more of Alton playing and Lambda looking on with a faint smile on his face. He seemed to be doing that more often, she noticed wryly.

"He does," she agreed. A quick glance to her adopted father showed that he held a slight frown as he watched his son and ward. "Is there something wrong?"

"I was worried," Asbel admitted with a sigh, leaning back into his chair. "Even though we've done everything we could for him, Lambda isn't human. And for a while, after that Market Day fiasco... I didn't know if I was wrong. Was I trying to force him to be something he's not?"

Sophie blinked. "You're not," she said. "He's not a monster. He feels sad and he feels happy- just that he hides it all away."

Asbel nodded. With a start, Sophie realized that of course he knew that. "I was worried that I wouldn't be able to give him the life he deserves," Asbel said. "But now..."

He shook his head, a contented smile on his face. With a chuckle, he murmured, "He's looking this way."

Sophie turned back to the window. Despite the distance between them, Lambda had somehow noticed them watching him and was looking in their direction, a small frown on his face. Perhaps he knew, she thought, that they were talking about him.

Hesitantly, she lifted a hand in greeting.

The Lambda of yesteryear would simply have turned away or ignored the gesture, but the Lambda she was watching now returned the wave, a small smile on his face.

And then Alton tottered into the older boy, knocking both of them off-balance and into the dirt. Even though the distance was too far to make out their voices, Sophie knew that she would always remember the faces of her younger brother and her former arch-enemy right then and there, laughing together in childish delight.

Lambda may not have been born a human, Sophie thought inwardly, but there was no doubt that his heart, at least, was.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

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Sometimes Lambda dreamed. Despite his hard life, his sleep wasn't always filled with nightmares. Sometimes he dreamed of walking through green, rolling fields, or exploring dark, unknown caverns. He had dreams where he wandered through the lush Fodran wilderness before it died, and dreams of Ephinean civilization at its dawn. Back then, those dreams were what broke his constant feelings of anger and resentment, made him capable of remembering something other than violence.

Sometimes he had dreams of his previous hosts, their thoughts and their feelings. Their memories. Sometimes they were filled with horrible thoughts and feelings, things that bordered on the edge of nightmares, but they always gave him a glimpse of a life beyond his own- a what could have been, had he been a normal human being.

But even then, in those dreams, he had always been alone.

It was after he bonded with Asbel that he first started noticing differences in his dreams. Sometimes he'd feel a warm sense of companionship even though he was alone, like someone holding his hand. At other times, Asbel and the rest of his newfound friends would be there. After he got his own body, though, his dreams became full of people and his myriad experiences- of the people around the manor, and of his new family; his new life. Those dreams were vibrant, buoying. He would never admit it to anyone, but sometimes he would awaken in the morning with a smile on his face. And gradually, the lonely dreams of old started to fade away.

Thus, when he found himself alone on a grassy knoll in the middle of nowhere one night, he knew that something was amiss with _this_ particular dream. He could sense Fodra's presence all around him, and he knew he was still within his mind, yet the breadth of the power she could exercise even while she was his captive never ceased to astound him. For a long time, he knew that he hadn't needed to fight as hard as he should have to maintain control solely for one reason- because despite everything, Fodra wasn't trying to regain her freedom.

It made him edgy.

"It is not polite to ignore me after you made such a great affair of attracting my attention," he said calmly into the air. The silence and waiting had felt like an eternity, and he didn't take kindly to playing someone else's game within his own mind.

Fodra materialized like a mist slowly getting coloured in. She flashed him a smile, her green hair floating about her. Even now, she looked ever the goddess, cunning and powerful. With narrowed eyes, Lambda analyzed her every movement- he knew he couldn't let his guard down around her, even though he held the upper hand.

"'Patience is a virtue', or so the humans say," Fodra replied without missing a beat. "Do you like what I've done with the place?"

She gestured around them. The endless stretch of grass extended as far as the eye could see, with nary a tree in sight. Up above, calm, fluffy clouds floated through the sky. There were no sounds from the wildlife, and the only thing that moved apart from them was the wind. It was an idyllic picture of peace.

Lambda bristled. "I hate it."

"After all the work I've done?" Fodra watched him with wide, doe-like eyes before shrugging. "Shame."

"What is it that you want?"

Fodra paused, placing her hand to her chin thoughtfully. "That's something that _I_ should ask_ you_."

"I am happy with my life in Lhant," Lambda argued, trying to keep his temper in control. Even now, he could feel the current of his power rising all around him. He could have easily thrown off Fodra with great ease, yet the goddess hardly seemed to care.

The sentience nodded slowly. "Yes, I've noticed. I did not think it possible that humans were capable of such generosity, myself," she murmured. "Perhaps they do have some redeeming features after all. But that's not what I wanted to talk about."

Lambda folded his arms and lifted his chin defiantly. "Then perhaps you would care to enlighten me."

All of a sudden, it was as if her entire demeanor changed. Dark clouds suddenly appeared overhead where there were none before, and the air became heavy. Tense. In that moment, Fodra dropped any pretense of amiability and quicker than he could react, she was in front of him, all fire and anger.

"You live amongst humans, care for these humans, act like a human, " Fodra snarled. "You have forgotten who you are."

Lambda was used to Fodra's drastic mood swings, but the latest accusation caught him by surprise. He didn't even need to lift a finger before the very air turned heavy and slammed into Fodra, knocking her back. Unsurprisingly, she managed to catch herself before she touched the ground, but there was no mistaking the shock in her eyes.

This was, after all, the first time he had actively attacked her.

"Forgotten who I am?" he retorted, squaring his shoulders. "You seem to be mistaken."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, and yet, even then, Lambda detected a faint hint of pity from her. "You are no human, Lambda," she replied. "Try as you might, the life you lead restricts you. You were meant for so much more."

"I do not need anything more!" he snapped, pushing her further with yet another throw.

But yet Fodra struggled on. "Dare you say that as your power fades?" she yelled. "You have no body, and yet you waste your power maintaining this charade to fit in amongst humans! You _know _this cannot last! You know it is only a matter of time-"

"And why should _you _care what happens to me?"

The shift of power happened so suddenly that Lambda didn't even sense it before he found himself pinned to the ground, with Fodra's boot on his chest. She was watching him with something akin to anger. And... something else. Flickering in the depths of her green eyes, there was a deep sadness. One of unbearable pain and sorrow.

He ignored it as he glared right back at her.

"You're afraid, child," she murmured. "You're afraid of what- of whom- you were, and who you _are_."

"I am not," he retorted, choking underneath the weight on his chest.

A moment of silence passed between them then. Lambda was all too aware of the way her gaze seemed to pierce his soul. He wondered what thoughts ran through her mind now. The triumph he had been expecting wasn't there. She wasn't revelling in her victory. Instead, it seemed like she actually... worried for him.

Why? He wondered. For what purpose?

And then the moment passed. With a sigh, Fodra lifted her boot. "You're right. I should not concern myself with a weakling who denies his own self."

And then she was gone, as if she never were. Her presence ebbed away like the tide, and when Lambda looked, there was only the grassy hills stretched out as far as the eye could see.

With a shuddering sigh, he took in the air; grateful, for once, that he was alone.

* * *

It was a few weeks into Spring when the first report of trouble came.

Lambda had been bored, and thus decided to spend his time feigning to read a book while Asbel listened to Bailey bemoan the military's lack of funding. It was amusing to watch Asbel's attempts to placate his man-at-arms. There was a bond there, Lambda knew. Perhaps not of close friendship, but there was no doubt that each man bore a deep respect for the other. Asbel could have easily ordered Bailey to make do with what they had, but instead, here they were, wasting their time trying to figure out a way to pay Lhant's troops.

It was really all quite amusing.

At least, until Frederic poked his head into the room, interrupting the lively debate about whether or not they should start selling little Asbel dolls to generate more funds.

"Sirs, if I may," the old man said, unperturbed in the slightest, "we have a visitor."

Said visitor, it seemed, was a dishevelled young man that looked like he hadn't slept in a week. He peered furtively over Frederic's shoulder, hunched and meek in his posture. From his clothes, Lambda guessed he was a farmer of some sort- there was far too much wear and tear in them for him to be anything else but a labourer of some kind. He looked malnourished and weak, but what caught Lambda's attention were his eyes. They were haunted with fear.

"Come in." Asbel's mood seemed to change immediately upon spotting the young man. Lambda could sense his worry.

"My lords," the man bowed his head respectfully, skittering into the room with his hands tightly clenched together. "My name is William. I'm from the village of Osprey, in southern Lhant."

"He came with a request for aid," Frederic said.

"Aid?" Bailey echoed, frowning as he looked at the man's poor condition.

"My lords," William began, licking his dry lips, "we need your help. Nova monsters are attacking our village, and we don't have enough food to survive the winter."

"Nova monsters?" Asbel seemed alarmed. He looked at Bailey.

"We're in the process of exterminating the nova monsters in Lhant," the man-at-arms reminded him, "but we have not yet been able to reach the southern villages. We lack the resources to move any faster, and King Richard is busy attending to matters up north. No doubt countless villages are suffering the same way his is."

Bailey gave Lambda a pointed glance. Of course he held him responsible. And well he should, a small voice told him. After all, the nova monsters were _his _doing. Like countless times before, Lambda simply looked away first, keeping his mouth shut.

"But even so," Asbel continued. "Don't you have a garrison to defend yourself?"

He shook his head. "Not nearly enough, my lord. Bandits attacked us a few months back, stealing our crops and our cattle, and wounding our men. After they left, the nova monsters came, and we could not stop them. Even now, there's a pack of more'n twenty of them surrounding my village."

"My lord," Bailey spoke, "It sounds like a nest."

Asbel frowned, no doubt realizing the implications of what that meant. After all, he had fought against plenty of nova monsters himself, and had exterminated quite a few nests on his own. He remained silent, and Lambda knew he was considering the possibilities- was it possible that a nest did exist in his own lands; and if so, did he have enough men to take it out?

"I'm not lying," William said through gritted teeth. Even though his face was lowered, and in shadow, there was no mistaking the wetness in his eyes.

Lambda saw Asbel's eyes soften. The young lord thought for a moment, and then he nodded. "Bailey, gather the men and supplies. We leave tomorrow."

"At once," Bailey saluted.

"My lord?" When the young man lifted his head, there was amazement in his eyes as he regarded Asbel.

"I believe you," Asbel responded, clasping the young man's shoulder. "We'll come with you and do what we can to stop them. Your people won't starve."

"Thank you, Lord Asbel." His voice shook with gratitude.

Asbel gave William a short nod, and then walked out of the study, Bailey at his heels. Frederic gestured to William, leading him out of the study while talking about food and lodging, when suddenly the young southern villager paused.

He had spotted Lambda.

William's body stiffened instantaneously. Despite his best attempts to hide himself in an obscure corner of the room with a book in his hand, Lambda supposed he wasn't exactly invisible. It was for but a second, but Lambda could see his eyes widen, and his mouth open in what looked to be the start of a scream. The fear that had been abandoned in Asbel's presence suddenly returned and William staggered backwards- away from him. Somehow, he managed to regain his composure, but he wasted no time in leaving the room, not even pausing to bow.

Judging from his frantic footsteps, Lambda thought, it sounded like he had broken out into a full run right after he shut the door.

Frederic pursed his lips briefly. The old man was regarding Lambda with something akin to pity, but when he opened his mouth to speak, the sentience simply shook his head. Cheria's grandfather, perhaps sensing that these were dangerous waters, decided not to say anything. With a bow, he left the room with perfect poise.

With a bitter sigh, Lambda turned his attention back to his book, the picture of arrogant disdain and calm. Yet, underneath his facade, his mind was whirring, and the guilt he had become so good at ignoring flared up, unwilling to leave. The words on the page that were meant to distract him proved to do little to calm his thoughts.

Well, this wouldn't do at all.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Sophie decided that she wanted to come along as well. She had been waiting by the city gates since dawn, it seemed, even before the Turtlez caravan that would take them there had been fully assembled. It had been a long time since Lambda had seen her dressed as such, and he found himself surprised by her appearance- short skirt, heavy boots and bracers, and her purple hair tied up in twin tails. It looked as if she had gotten up at the crack of dawn to get ready, and there was a spark of eagerness in her eyes as she watched the soldiers load the cargo onto the Turtlez.

Briefly, Lambda wondered how long it had been since she had left Lhant. Certainly not while he was around, and judging by the way she seemed to watch the horizon with a wistful look, certainly far longer than she had wanted.

"And where do you think you're going, young lady?" Cheria asked, hands on her hips as she scrutinized the purple-haired girl. Despite all the frills and laces that she wore, Lambda always found Cheria to be a highly intimidating woman.

Behind her were the townspeople of Lhant. They had all turned up to wish the young lord of Lhant and his troops good fortunes before they left. The turnout, Lambda thought, was really quite impressive- a testament to the loyalty the people had for their lord. They were a strong people, he had to admit. He saw no teary farewells, no desperate pleas to stay, even though the people knew that their loved ones would be marching into danger.

Perhaps such was their faith in their lord.

Or maybe they simply felt more at ease with the strange belief that if a young woman like Sophie was going, the mission couldn't be all _that _dangerous.

"With Asbel," Sophie responded simply, meeting Cheria's gaze resolutely as if that answer explained everything.

"Sophie!"

"If Asbel runs into nova monsters, I'm the one best equipped to deal with them." Sophie shrugged. "Don't worry, Cheria. We'll be fine."

Asbel chuckled helplessly as his wife turned her razor-sharp glare at him. "She's already made up her mind, Cheria," he said gently. "If we leave her here, it's likely that she'll just chase the caravan by herself. Besides, it's been a while since we all had a chance to stretch our legs."

Sophie nodded happily.

"Don't encourage her," Cheria sighed heavily, wringing her hands. In a quieter voice, she said, "I wish you didn't have to go."

"It'll be alright," Asbel said with a cherry smile. "We'll come back, I promise."

"Still, I want to come with you."

"Someone has to take care of Lhant while I'm gone," the young lord responded.

"_Still._" The healer bit her lip, before she sighed in defeat. She leaned forward and kissed her husband lightly on the cheek. She forced a smile, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Make sure Sophie takes a bath every day, and eat whatever the chef cooks for you- even if it isn't curry."

"Cheria!" the young lord cried in dismay.

"No buts, Asbel," his wife reprimanded him. In a softer voice, she said, "Stay safe."

Asbel nodded, and with that, he turned towards Bailey, who had been waiting for him by the lead Turtlez.

Lambda watched him go, an odd, nagging feeling persisting in his gut. Since the previous day, he had felt unsettled at the appearance of the young man, and now, that feeling grew. He had come with the rest of the manor with the full intention of simply seeing the caravan off, yet now...

_It was your fault that the nova monsters were even created_, Fodra whispered in his mind.

He flinched, decision made.

"Wait, Asbel," he spoke up, grabbing hold of the young lord's sleeve before he went out of reach.

Asbel looked surprised by his action. Glancing at him, he asked, "Something wrong, Lambda?"

Lambda hesitated for a moment. He had acted on pure impulse, and guilt. Half of him simply wanted to brush it off and return to where Cheria stood; now watching him with bemusement. But another part of him- a part that had grown increasingly louder ever since he met Asbel- told him that what he was doing was the right thing to do.

"I'm coming with you," he said with as much conviction as he could muster.

Surprisingly, Asbel frowned, worried. "Are you sure?" the redhead asked. "You haven't left the manor in years."

Lambda winced inwardly. It was true, though- he had avoided leaving the manor for almost five years now, and the thought of leaving its safety, of putting himself in full view of people who hated and feared him shook him to the core. But he knew if he turned away now, if he ignored the guilt he felt for _causing _such fear to begin with, he would never be able to face Fodra.

He nodded.

Asbel didn't look convinced. Lambda knew that look in his eyes- it was a look that the young lord wore whenever he had strange ideas of trying to protect those around him. Even though he had grown taller, accepting his role as Alton's big brother, Asbel still towered over him, and over the years, he had came to see Lambda as his protectorate.

He was trying to protect him from something.

"I am Lambda," he said with as much force as he could. "You need not worry about my well-being."

Asbel sighed. "Alright," he said at last, thoroughly reluctant. "Come along, then."

* * *

Lhant was beautiful in the spring. Frederic had once explained to Lambda that Lhant was perfect farmland- it had enough wide open plains and fields for growing produce and rearing cows, and the climate was just right- not too warm, and not too cold. As they traversed the countryside, Lambda came to appreciate that fact. Covering the rolling hills were countless orchards and farms, and in the vast expanse of space in between, cattle grazed upon the lush, new green.

Peasants waved at the caravan as it passed, and as the Turtlez meandered down the winding road that travelled towards the southern villages, Lambda found himself fascinated at the sight. Before, he had never paid much attention to humans, seeing them merely as obstacles in his goal. But now, watching them live their own lives without a care as to his presence, he was struck by how... normal it all seemed. How peaceful.

Yet, as they went further and further away from Lhant, Lambda began to see subtle changes. The people started looking more tired and withdrawn, eyeing the caravan with suspicion rather than with joy. Gone were the contented faces, replaced by eyes that Lambda knew all too well- fear. The farms and cattle were easily swallowed up by growing patches of wild forests, and the smoke of villages and civilization started to become a rare sight. But more importantly, there was a faint crinkling in his mind, a touch of power that he knew by instinct, and yet wished he could deny with all his heart.

The first howl came towards the end of their third day on the road, suddenly and without warning. It sent a shiver down Lambda's spine, and all conversation within the carriage seemed to cease at the sound. It was soon followed by a second and a third voice, blending together in an eerie echo that resonated through the fading light.

"Nova monsters," William said grimly.

"We make camp for the night," Asbel said, stopping the driver. "Bailey, tell the sentries to be on lookout. We won't know if they decide to attack."

"I would," Lambda supplied, his voice barely audible, but obviously audible enough that everyone's gaze shifted onto him. He shrunk back, all-too-aware of Bailey's reproachful stare and the young man's horrified one.

Asbel was the first one to break the awkward silence. "Even so," he said, flashing Lambda a warm smile. "It's best to be cautious."

Dinner was an awkward, stilted affair. All around him, Lambda could sense the tension. Soldiers peered into the darkness periodically in the middle of eating their meal or playing a game of cards, and they kept their weapons close. William sat away from the crowd, nervous and edgy, the haunted look in his eyes all the more prominent with every howl that wailed through the night. The giant turtle monsters, usually beasts unperturbed by even the loudest fireworks, were more content to huddle together in one corner, hiding in their shells. Asbel and Bailey seemed the same for most of the time, but he could see the wariness in their movements. After all, everyone could tell that the nova monsters were out there, waiting, just beyond the borders of their camp.

Lambda, more than most.

They could sense him, he knew. They were calling for _him; _wanted him to come back and lead them. Their mournful cries pulled at him; sounding lost and yet, so desperately happy to find him again. They _missed _him.

As the night wore on, the soldiers started trailing off into their tents. He could tell that the nova monsters hadn't moved, and he knew that they had no intention to attack the camp. Yet, he doubted that anyone would dare relax their guard as long as they were out there, waiting.

Despite his initial intent of staying put, his feet soon began to move when the howling became unbearable. He soon found himself at the edge of the camp, and he had never felt so lost, alone, and _confused _all at once. It felt as if he was being pulled in two directions at once.

He stared out into the forest, trying to make out the shadowy figures that he knew had to be lurking in there. To the humans, they were evil abominations that ruined everything they touched, but to Lambda, they were his kin- and even now, there was a familiar urge that told him to abandon the camp and return to the nova monsters; return and lead them once more. An urge that he knew he could not listen to.

They stayed out of sight, but he knew they were there.

"Lambda?" Sophie's voice shook him out of his reverie. She stood just a few feet behind him, perhaps surprised that he had wandered off. Yet, even now, even though he knew she could sense the nova monsters just beyond the forest line, there was no distrust in her eyes. Only worry.

He hated the fact that he was causing her to worry.

"Must you insist on sneaking up on me, Sophie?" he grumbled, folding his arms.

"Only if you insist on sneaking around camp," Sophie retorted.

"I do not _sneak._"

"Then why are you here?" Sophie asked, all naive curiosity and innocence.

Lambda chose not to respond. He sighed heavily, turning his gaze back towards the trees. A part of him wanted to simply walk towards the nova monsters, yet it felt like there was a line there that he simply couldn't cross.

"I could destroy them," he murmured into the night.

He felt Sophie move to stand beside him. Somehow, her presence felt warm in the cold of the night. There was a heavy pause as she considered the weight of those words.

"You haven't," she said at last. There was a question in her words.

"How can I?" Lambda shrugged. "If it were any other who were given this power, they would not hesitate to use it... but I created them. Even if it was to destroy humanity, to destroy Ephinea... I _created_ them. And now, they live. They thrive. They are not mindless beasts, Sophie."

"But they hurt countless people and villages," she murmured, her eyes sad.

Lambda sighed. "So did I."

Her gaze softened as she regarded him. "You're not hurting people any longer," she said.

He chuckled at that. "I wonder."

"Lambda!" Her voice was insistent. She looked exasperated, but in her eyes, he caught a tinge of fear.

He smiled wryly. "Do you not see how they look at me, Sophie?" he sighed. "I am the one who created the nova monsters. I am the one that killed their sons and daughters. Even if I do nothing now, the repercussions of my actions still _hurt_ people. Is that not why we're here to begin with?" He gestured around at the wilderness around them.

There was a flicker in her eyes as he said that. Perhaps she remembered, Lambda thought. Perhaps she _understood_. Yet, if she felt anything, it didn't show.

"What are you going to do about it?" she asked instead.

"I do not know," he admitted. "No matter what I do, someone suffers for my actions." He chuckled. "There are times that I wonder if I was created simply to cause misery to everyone around me. Cornell, Fodra, Ephinea..."

"Alton," Sophie interjected.

He glanced at her then, caught by surprise. Her gaze was intense in the flickering firelight. All she said was a name, and yet that was all that was needed to tell him everything that she meant. Despite himself, he remembered the warm sunlit days he had spent watching Alton grow, the laughter that always seemed to fill the Lhant household. The smiles of the people around him that he had grown to treasure without even realizing it. The family that he had somehow been accepted into, and had accepted in return. The person he was now.

It always surprised him that she could say so much with so little words.

He looked away. "My apologies. What I said was uncalled for."

He did not expect her to rest a hand on his shoulder. It was a gentle touch, and warm against his cold skin. He glanced at her in surprise.

"That's the first I've heard you apologize," Sophie remarked with a wry smile.

"It will be the last," he promised, managing a small smile in return.

Perhaps his renewed bravado set her at ease, for the worry in her eyes seemed to fade at that. She nodded; her relief evident. Lambda sighed, sparing a glance towards the forest.

The presence of the nova monsters had retreated. They had sensed his confusion, and had left. It seemed, for now, that the decision had been put on hold.

"I should leave," he said at last. "Thank you, Sophie."

"An apology _and _gratitude?" her mouth quirked. "That's an anomaly for you."

"Do not get used to it."

He turned, about to leave, when her voice caught his attention again.

"I was created to destroy you," she said, suddenly quiet, as if she was telling him some great secret. Her hands stayed clasped together, and Lambda realized she was still wearing her battle gloves.

"Evidently you failed," he returned, bemused by her strange behavior.

She hesitated.

"I'm glad I did," she responded, her voice serious.

There was a moment of surprise as he registered her words. There was no doubt that she was waiting for a response, and there was a faint blush on her cheeks. After all, one did not simply turn away from the things they held on to for so long, so simply.

Perhaps it was time for him to do the same.

When he gathered his composure again, he inclined his head, not trusting himself to speak. She smiled gently then, and with a final wave, she turned her attention back to the forest line, her gaze scanning for any sign of trouble.

That night, for the first time that entire journey, Lambda slept peacefully.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

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The village of Osprey sat just a few miles away from the Lhant border. The terrain was mostly wooded, with the only large open spaces being what had been cleared away manually. The village itself was small, with makeshift wooden fortifications that looked so frail that Lambda doubted it could even keep the wind out. The houses were made out of thatch and mud, with only twenty or so houses within the village boundary. Only one structure was made out of stone. Logically, Lambda assumed it was the village hall.

At first, the villagers were terrified when they saw the heavily armed caravan appear at the village gates. However, once they spotted William, the entire entourage was hurried inside and the village head declared a feast for their honored guests. Asbel had protested- insisting that the village, already taxed of its food, should not have to open its granaries for him- but the villagers had insisted that they had to show hospitality to their lord. They brought out vegetables that looked far tinier than what Lambda had seen in Lhant's markets, and chicken meat that looked stringy and tough. Lambda raised an eyebrow at the fare- he hadn't seen a single sign of livestock anywhere near the village at all, so it seemed like this was truly all the village had to offer.

It wasn't a really huge feast. Lambda had eaten larger dinners in Lhant than in Osprey, and it really drove the fact in: the people of this village were at the breaking point. Even the forced festive atmosphere was just that. He could see the way the villagers paused a second when a soldier asked for a refill of wine, or the way they shot furtive, distrustful glances at Asbel when he wasn't looking.

He knew they would never have invited the Lord of Lhant down here if they had any other choice.

After the feast, Lambda managed to sneak out of the village hall without anyone noticing; or rather, without anyone stopping him. Most of the soldiers were setting up camp some distance away from the village, while the villagers themselves seemed to know that they should not trouble him, shirking away from him once they spotted him.

He couldn't blame them. After all, it must be strange to have the root cause of their problems appear amongst those that were about to eradicate it.

He wandered around the village, but the area was silent and calm. Most of the villagers had gone to the feast, and those that didn't had shuttered themselves in their little huts out of caution. As he walked down the dirt paths, Lambda could have sworn that there were eyes in the darkness watching him, and he was pretty certain that there were no nova monsters afoot.

There was a hole in the village wall, and Lambda had no trouble slipping out of Osprey. He made a mental note to himself to point out the village's lack of fortifications to Bailey in the morning.

But even though he was outside now, he could not sense even a flicker of the nova monsters' presence. It seemed like, for now, they were keeping their distance. Though he could easily have found them if he put his mind to it, he hesitated. After all, even if he did find them, he wasn't sure whether he could do anything- no, whether he _wanted _to do anything.

Something told him that destroying the nova monsters wasn't the... _right _thing to do.

Still, the open plains felt like freedom compared to the cramped quarters of the village, and he soon found himself wandering the villagers' fields. The moment he did, he knew something was wrong.

Lambda could tell that the fields were dead. The eleth in the earth itself was weak, barely able to support itself. When he knelt to touch the soil, it felt dry and crumbly, like clay- and he knew that this was what it was like for at least the surrounding acres of land. But even where there were faint patches of life in the earth, there were signs that it had been recently disturbed- uprooted plants and soil carelessly kicked around. With a bitter smile, he recalled that William had mentioned bandits.

It was no surprise that the village was desperate. It was nearly impossible for them to live, the way things were.

He heard movement behind him, the soft thuds of boots on soil. When he glanced over his shoulder, he saw a familiar figure in white watching him with a wry smile. He sighed, hardly surprised that the young lord came after him. He had noticed that Asbel had been increasingly worried about him, after all.

"Take a look," Lambda said, gesturing to the fields around him. "They're dead. Even if the villagers try, it will be impossible for them to produce anything out of land like this."

"Is it because of the nova monsters?" Asbel asked.

Lambda shrugged. "Perhaps. Perhaps this land was never fertile to begin with."

"You don't really believe that."

"I don't," Lambda admitted. "The land here feels like Fodra, like the eleth within it has been sucked dry. The possibility that it wasn't the nova monsters is very slim indeed." He sighed, standing up.

"Is there anything that can be done?" Asbel joined his position, his gaze surveying the lands that belonged to him.

Lambda thought for a moment. "It is merely a matter of infusing some eleth back into the soil. You could simply get a large collection of crushed cryas and plant it in the earth. Even so, until the nova monsters are taken care of, there's little doubt doubt that it's merely a temporary solution."

Asbel frowned. "Assuming we get rid of the nova monsters, couldn't_ you_...?" He made a little gesture with his hands.

The sentience sighed, unwilling to look at the young lord. It was true, he could simply infuse some eleth in the land to regenerate it, but... "I do not know if I have sufficient eleth."

It was a sore point for Lambda. It was already well into the fifth year since he had started living in Lhant, and his originally overflowing eleth had been slowly depleted. Asbel had brought the subject up shortly after Alton's birth, but after Lambda's constant refusals for his aid, he had reluctantly chose not to push the subject. After all, in between the hostilities he experienced from his neighbouring lords and the lack of humanoid technology in Ephinea, it wasn't as if the young lord could do anything to help, and it wasn't as if Lambda would die once the time limit was up (he would probably find somewhere to sleep for another decade or so in blissful hibernation). And frankly, there was a small part of him that didn't _want _Asbel to help- a part of him stubbornly refused to let himself be so soft to admit that he needed help to stay alive. Still, that didn't seem to stop the redhead from being overprotective.

"Lambda, why did you come with us?"

Asbel's voice was serious when he spoke, and he spared the young lord a glance. Asbel was a fool and a silly, naive idealist at the best of times, but he was also the one person who knew how he thought. And even though they no longer shared a mind, Lambda found himself reluctant to lie.

The older being found himself unable to hold Asbel's gaze. "I feel guilty. For what I had done. Perhaps I stayed in Lhant manor because I was... afraid."

Asbel nodded in understanding. Lambda sighed- of course Asbel had already guessed what had been troubling him.

"Do you regret it?"

Lambda frowned. "Choosing to live in Lhant?" He paused, thinking back on the past few years. "No, but yet..."

Asbel kept quiet, as if waiting for him to continue.

"I ignored it at first," Lambda murmured. "But the more I think about it, I wondered- what if it's impossible for me to live normal life? After all the years I tried to assimilate myself into the Lastalia, all the destruction I caused... I was afraid to acknowledge that maybe, there was nothing for me beyond that." Darkly, he added, "Perhaps it would have been easier if I didn't care at all about what I had done."

"But you do," his friend said.

He paused for a moment, surveying the empty fields- fields which should have been thriving with eleth and life. The landscape was familiar, and so was the dull pain in his chest. "Yes, I suppose I do."

"Some things can't be fixed." The young lord scuffed his boot on the soil, seemingly trying to figure out what to say. "And just because you turn a blind eye to a problem doesn't mean that it doesn't exist."

Lambda managed a wry smile. "I noticed."

Asbel opened his mouth, but before he spoke, he paused, his eyes staring far off into the distance. Then, quietly, he said, "After my father died- I realized that feeling guilty is one thing, but doing nothing about it just makes it worse." He ran a hand through his hair. "Don't take the entire burden on yourself, though. Remember that we're still here with you."

Lambda spared the young lord a glance, wondering what must be going on through his mind at that moment. Asbel had blamed himself for the death of his father, and for failing to protect his people as lord of Lhant. He had blamed himself for what happened to Richard, and for failing to protect Sophie. Perhaps he understood guilt more than he was letting on.

"Voice of experience, Asbel Lhant?"

Asbel smirked. "Maybe."

Lambda chuckled then, and he could see some tension leave Asbel's shoulders. It was then that Lambda noticed how tired the young lord looked, with dark circles under his eyes and a weary tinge to his smile. With a start, he realized that all the while, Asbel had been hiding how tired he had looked, keeping up an appearance of the strong and capable Lord of Lhant.

"You bear a heavy burden," he said with a small frown.

Asbel seemed surprised. The young lord winced as he spoke. "There have been... troubling reports, lately."

"More troubling than the lack of military funds?"

The redhead chuckled at that, but the mirth soon faded. "Remember when Richard said that the other lords were unhappy?"

Lambda nodded, uncertain where this was going.

"I've heard rumors that they're building up their forces." Lambda followed Asbel's gaze- past the southern border of Lhant, there lived another lord. It stood to reason that they were afraid of Lhant- of Lambda.

"You believe they seek a confrontation."

Asbel shook his head with a thin smile. "Richard would execute them if they do- lords fighting other lords would lead to a civil war, like back in our fathers' day. Even so, they have been trying to undermine my power. Some of the border villages have started complaining about how things are run in Lhant, and some of the other lords have been pressuring me to sell off those lands. It _is _true that we need the money, after all."

"Osprey?"

"Among others."

Unsaid was how the people were afraid of Lambda, how there was, without doubt, threats against Asbel for harboring him. With a soft sigh, Lambda wished he could do something about the situation.

Judging from the understanding look that Asbel gave him, he had the oddest feeling that the young lord was aware of his thoughts. But both of them knew that to voice out such things would be to acknowledge them- to admit that maybe, just maybe, they couldn't protect each other from the future.

"I wonder if Bailey's doll idea would actually work."

"Don't be a fool, Asbel."

* * *

The first couple of days passed with no major developments. The soldiers began combing through the forests, trying to find the nova monster nest. Lambda could probably have found it within a few hours, but he wasn't inclined to volunteer. As for why he wasn't asked, he had the slightest suspicion that no one was willing to ask the feared Lambda for his aid.

On the third day, however, a scout reported something strange- a collection of tracks, just a few miles away from the village. Human ones.

"Could be bandits," Bailey observed. "There's no reason to have such a large congregation in this part of Lhant."

"But they came only three months ago!" the village head had protested. "Why would they return?"

"Who knows," the man-at-arms returned with a shrug. "Maybe they're running across the border."

Asbel frowned. "How many?"

"The scout reported a dozen, give or take." Bailey sighed, knowing the look on the young lord's face all too well. "Should I take my men and track them?"

Asbel nodded. "If you find them, break up the camp. The rest of us will continue searching the area. Is there any sign of the nest yet?"

"No," Sophie said, shaking her head. "We've located one or two, but we lose the trail whenever we try to trace them back, and I can't pinpoint eleth signatures as accurately anymore." Noticing Lambda's stare, she explained, "You're like a giant explosion of eleth most of the time. These monsters are barely a blip, and they've caught on that we're trying to find them."

"They're hiding from us?" William asked incredulously. "Why?"

"Self-preservation," Lambda retorted. "They may be powerful, but they aren't stupid. None of my creations would willingly take on an entire army, especially not with her at the head." He nodded towards Sophie, who seemed mildly surprised by the admission.

William, on the other hand, seemed to remember who Lambda was, and edged further away from him. Judging from the way the rest of the soldiers were glancing nervously in his direction, Lambda thought, he wasn't the only one.

The meeting was adjourned before mid-day, and the rest of the day passed frustratingly slow. Lambda was not welcomed as part of the search efforts, and he doubted Bailey would have liked travelling with him. Instead, he simply sat around the village, browsing through old village records out of sheer boredom. Every once in a while, he would detect a flicker of power that seemed like a nova monster, but whenever he searched (or gave a cursory scan, more like), he could find nothing.

It was easy to want to do something to redeem himself, he thought. Quite another to find something to actually do.

It was a good thing Lambda had never heard of famous last words, for that night, the nova monsters came.

Lambda awoke abruptly, shaken from his slumber by the sound of their howls resounding through the cold night air. He wasn't sure what shocked him more- the sudden realization that the nova monsters were _here, _or the fact that he had been so secure in his sleep that he didn't detect their presence until he was awake. He could sense them then, encircling the village. But they weren't attacking.

It was a warning.

Lambda quickly rushed out of the town hall that had been established as the base of operations, and it seemed like he was not the only one awakened by the nova monsters howls. All around, sleepy-eyed villagers stood in the town square, confused by what was going on. He could see sentries staring out into the forest, trying to find any sign of their enemies. Lambda quickly spotted Asbel and Sophie standing nearby, confusion evident in their faces.

He was glad to see that they were armed, as well.

"Asbel!" he called, catching the young lord's attention. "Get your men ready!"

"Are the nova monsters going to attack?" Asbel asked, any surprise he had at Lambda's sudden call quickly replaced by a flicker of urgency.

Lambda shook his head. "No, but someone else is. The nova monsters sense them coming from the north."

Asbel seemed confused at the statement, but he didn't pause to ask. Within minutes, he sprung into action, rushing off towards the soldiers' camp. As he went, he grabbed the village head's shoulder and rattled off a list of instructions. Judging by the way the villagers soon started moving, Lambda assumed the warning was heeded.

The town bell sounded barely minutes later. Quickly, Sophie and Lambda ran to the town gates to see exactly what it was they were up against.

The attackers were undoubtedly human. They were armed with spears and lightly armoured for mobility, and were approaching fast. None of this was much of a surprise, but their numbers...

"They outnumber us," Sophie realized.

Lambda knew something was wrong. He may not have been an expert in military affairs, but he had heard enough from Asbel and Bailey's conversations to know that this was no mere bandit force. There were far too many of them, and even with the troops Asbel had brought from Lhant, Lambda knew they would be hard-pressed to drive the attackers back, especially with Bailey and at least a dozen men half-way through the hills with no knowledge of the attack.

Villagers quickly gathered around him. Few wore armor. Some were lucky enough to don a coat of chain mail, but upon closer inspection, Lambda knew that the rusty old equipment would be as effective as a tunic. They were armed with crude spears that had been meant to drive off monsters, not fight armed, dangerous men.

Lambda knew that he _had _to intervene.

He threw out a wave of eleth as the first attackers approached, knocking them off their feet with ease. Caught by surprise at the unexpected attack, the bandits pulled back, circling around the entrance of the village as they tried to figure out what had hit them. They seemed confused and stunned by his sudden appearance- either they were shocked by the idea that they were being held back by a small child, or they knew exactly who he was.

Whatever the case, Sophie seized the chance and moved. Like lightning, she had covered the distance between the village gates and the attacking force in mere seconds, launching a furious onslaught upon the few men that had strayed too close. Lambda had always detested how incredibly fast she had been, once, but even with her organic body, she maintained a level of power that was above anything a mere man would achieve.

The villagers milled back, afraid to join the conflict. They were farmers, not soldiers, and the force from Lhant was nowhere in sight. With a hiss of frustration, Lambda realized he couldn't attack from a distance for fear of hitting Sophie- she was moving far too fast for him to keep track. Sparing a second to curse his ineptitude and his fondness for long white robes, he sprinted towards the battle.

Bandits quickly caught on to a lone child dashing towards the fray, and they approached him, spears raised. Lambda didn't even need to look as he lashed out, his eleth bursting from his fingertips like dark arrows, piercing through the hearts of his would-be attackers. He was not adverse to violence, and even though he may have softened over the years, he knew that the best enemy was a dead one.

Sophie spared him a glance and fell back just as his arrows struck the men preoccupied with fighting her. Even so, there were far too many of them, and Lambda knew that with just the two of them, it would only be a matter of moments before they were overrun.

"Where's Asbel?" he asked as Sophie landed beside him. She had delivered a beautiful mid-air kick to a nearby man that was now lying flat on the ground, out-cold.

"Don't know." She slammed her fist into a man that had come too close while Lambda quickly dispatched another with eleth slicing through the air.

Lambda grit his teeth, about to summon the eleth he needed to attain his combat form, but at the last second, a loud horn answered the echoing cries of the village bell. A quick glance to the left showed the Lhant troops emerging from the nearby forest, with Asbel at their head, running towards Osprey as fast as they could.

The villagers cheered, and the bandits turned to look at the approaching force. Lambda felt a small spark of relief at the sight.

And then all hell broke loose.

The bandits turned- and ran straight towards the village. Lambda tried to summon another eleth shockwave, but there were simply far too many for him to push back. All around, panicked villagers started brandishing their spears and weapons, but the bandits pushed them aside with ease. Even now, Lambda knew, the bandits far outnumbered the Lhant attackers- and suddenly the entire village was a battlefield.

Lambda spotted Asbel and his men split between holding off the bandits and trying to get the villagers to safety. His first instinct had been to join up with them, but when he looked around him, his heart fell to the pit of his stomach, if he had one.

Sophie had disappeared.

And in that moment, he was suddenly swallowed up by the chaos. Bandits, perhaps assuming he had let his guard down, found him standing in the middle of the village and charged at him, spears leading. Tossing caution to the wind, he dissolved his human form, changing it to solid eleth. Power radiated off him and with vicious efficiency, he cut down his attackers one after another.

A sharp scream drew his attention. He turned- and spotted Sophie, cornered by three thugs. Behind her were two children, probably only a few years older than Alton. Lambda knew she could easily have taken them on, but she had no space to act, and it seemed like her priority was ensuring the children didn't come to harm.

His form was large, but it moved swiftly. Before the bandits even knew what hit them, he had grabbed one and tossed him aside like one of Alton's dolls, and quickly stabbed the other two to the ground with his other arm, like one of Hubert's insect collections.

"Lambda?" Sophie looked at him with wide eyes. Behind her, the two children- a boy and a girl, the former looking older than the latter- peered up at him in fright. It was obvious they weren't sure whether he was friend or foe.

"Go-" He didn't even finish his sentence when a sharp pain pierced through his body. Sophie's eyes widened even further, and the girl behind her let out another scream. When he looked down, he found a blade of steel jutting out from his body. Peering over his shoulder, he found himself looking at a bandit whose original glee had now turned to shock- and then to fear.

A swing of his arm knocked the bandit back, but suddenly, it felt like his strength had faded. Crumbling to the ground, he barely had enough strength to pull the sword out of his back when the eleth around him dissolved and he was suddenly back in his human form. A gaping wound pierced through his torso, but instead of blood, he felt the eleth that made up his body flowing away.

"Lambda!" Sophie quickly ran to support him, pulling him up from the ground. "How-?"

"Don't know," he managed to gasp. His wound wasn't healing, and he was starting to feel weaker by the minute. He grit his teeth. He knew he had been losing eleth, yet he hadn't expected to be so weakened that he couldn't even heal himself. He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on the flow of eleth, trying to draw it to him instead of the other way around. It had been so long since he had last been injured that the pain was fogging his mind, making it hard for him to concentrate.

"We have to get out of here," Sophie said, scanning the area around them. Lambda nodded. There was simply far too much fighting going on. Even though she knew how to use eleth to close wounds, it would be near impossible for her to tend to him at that moment. So she gestured the two children to follow her and propped Lambda up, shifting his weight over to her shoulders.

"Asbel's outside," Lambda managed.

"I can't fight my way out like this," Sophie muttered. She led the small group away from the main square and the main conflict, towards the village walls.

"What are you-"

A single kick from the purple haired girl was enough to knock down a portion of the wall large enough for a person to pass through. Even through his pain, Lambda managed to find some amusement at the fact.

"Quickly." Sophie glanced at the two children. Perhaps they had been too frightened by everything to object, or perhaps they just wanted to get away, but whatever the case, they obeyed her without question. First the boy, then the girl passed through the gap, and then they peered back at the two of them, unmoving.

Slowly, they inched through the gap, Sophie taking great care not to let him fall. Lambda felt helpless; weak. Here he was, supposedly this being of great power- felled by a single strike. He couldn't even walk without help, and it frustrated him. His limbs felt heavy and it hurt to even think. All he wanted was to close his eyes, but he knew he couldn't. Not until they were safe.

The small group staggered through the forest, and after a while, Lambda could make out the white tents that marked the Lhant military encampment just beyond the trees. He felt a sense of relief then, but then, as things were wont to do, that relief soon changed to horror.

Men appeared from beyond the trees, armed to the teeth. They were huge, in Lambda's tired mind, but more importantly, they were armed- to the teeth. Even weary as he was, he spotted at least three men in front of them, and he could sense the eleth signatures of two more behind him.

Sophie tensed. Lambda could tell that she wanted to fight, but she was also wary about the odds. The two children squeezed closer to them, afraid. If she were alone, there was no doubt she could take all the men on easily, but with an injured companion and two children? Lambda knew that with her speed, she could escape, but she wouldn't abandon them. That wasn't the way she worked.

Then one of the men spoke. "Relax, girl. We ain't after your blood."

Sophie didn't take the bait. Instead, she took a step back, using her free hand to shepherd the children behind her.

The man laughed at her attempt. "Give it up, lass," the speaker said. "There's no way you can get those wee ones and him through us."

The children crunched in closer, and Lambda felt their bodies pressed against his. They had been caught up in so much violence, and now, they were no doubt thinking that they were about to die.

"What do you want, then?" Sophie returned.

The man's smile was predatory. "The boy- the monster they call Lambda."

Lambda could hear her sharp intake of breath at the pronouncement. He wondered what she was thinking, and more importantly- how was he going to get himself out of this predicament now?

"He's right," Lambda murmured, loud enough so that only she could hear. "You can't defeat all of them before they reach the children."

Sophie shot him a look. "What would you suggest then?" she hissed back.

"Prepare the children. When I attack, run."

"But that-" Sophie began. He knew from her eyes that she had stumbled upon the inevitable flaw in his plan- that she would have to leave him behind.

"I cannot die, Sophie," he smiled thinly. "Their target is me, neither you nor the children."

"You thought you couldn't be wounded either," she retorted.

"I can't die, but _they_ can," Lambda snarled, flicking his gaze over to the young ones pressed against him.

He could see her indecision. Every instinct she had was to fight the men around her, but she knew that this was a battle she couldn't win without losing anything. Losing her friend, or losing the children she wanted to protect-

"It's the only way," Lambda insisted.

Her eyes hardened. She clenched a hand into a fist. "No, it's not."

"Sophie-"

She turned to the bandits, eyes ablaze. The man smiled cockily in return.

"Well, what'd it be, girl?" the man asked.

"It's a deal," Sophie said.

Lambda blinked. At first, he was mildly hurt by the idea that she would have willingly agreed, but quite quickly, he saw the look on the purple-haired girl's face. It wasn't the look of defeat- in fact, it was one of burning anger. It didn't take him too long to see what Sophie was planning. Five men surrounded them- five men, against her, the saviour of Ephinea. If she could get the children out of the way, she could easily defeat them, and drag Lambda to safety.

She shot him a questioning gaze and he nodded.

"Let them go, then, lads."

Sophie quickly ushered the children forwards, and watched on as the two of them scampered past the bandits. The leader of the mob looked lazily as they moved forwards, his gaze lingering on Sophie for a tad longer than normal.

"You're Sophie Lhant, aren't ya, lass?"

Sophie nodded, and as close as they were, Lambda could feel her tense.

And just as the children passed him, the bandit moved, grabbing hold of the young boy by the shoulder and dragging him close, pressing a dagger against the boy's neck before Sophie could even move. His companion, likewise, caught the girl, clamping a hand over her mouth to silence her scream.

"You said you wouldn't hurt them!" Sophie protested.

"I did," the man acknowledged, sauntering forward with confidence.

The boy in his grip inched forward slowly for fear of the blade at his neck. Lambda could see tears forming at the corner of his eyes. Rage and disgust filled him, but the fog in his mind and the pain in his limbs made it hard for him to react- to do anything, at all.

"And I won't," the bandit continued. "So long as the two of you behave."

Sophie's shoulders sagged in disbelief. Sensing their chance, the men quickly surrounded them, and suddenly Lambda found himself being pulled off Sophie's shoulder and dragged away from her. Whoever it was that grabbed him had little care for his injured state, and pain lanced out from where his wound was.

He bit back a shout, but a whimper still managed to escape him.

"Lambda!" Sophie cried in desperation, reaching for him even as the other bandits grabbed her by the shoulders. But any move she could have made was halted when she glanced over to the two captive children.

The last thing Lambda was aware of was the fear in Sophie's eyes, and how he hated the sight of it. Then his captor clubbed him with the butt of a sword, and the darkness finally claimed him.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

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"You could have handled them."

Fodra's voice was soft in the darkness of his mind. He couldn't even see her, or his surroundings. All he felt was her presence- gentle, sorrowful, protective-

No, that wasn't right. The Fodra he knew was vengeful and capricious, always willing to exploit any weakness he had. Yet, somehow, this was Fodra- and he could feel her sincerity resonate through the darkness.

"Much of your eleth is used to keep me sealed. Surely you know by now that I have never meant you any harm. You could have healed yourself at any time."

It was hard to piece any semblance of thought together. It _hurt-_

"Shh." A comforting warmth wrapped itself around him, like a hug, easing the pain that ran through his mind. "All will be well, dear child."

The warmth was all-encompassing. Gentle, as if he had been enveloped by clouds and light. The darkness seemed to fade away at her touch.

"Why?" he whispered.

"Why else?" she responded, as if it were the simplest thing ever.

There was a realization then- something deep and inherent that brought forth a feeling of genuine happiness in him. But the feeling, whatever it was, failed to register in his mind. All he would remember later was that he said something then. Something that, despite the pain he found himself in, he knew he had to say.

Whatever it was, he could feel Fodra's surprise, and then, her smile.

* * *

Lambda returned to the waking world slowly. At first, he heard the crackle of a nearby campfire, and the muffled sounds of conversations some distance away. He was lying flat on his back, on what felt like soft earth. His mind felt weak, and while he could sense traces of eleth around him, it wasn't enough to give him a clear picture of his predicament. It felt as though his senses had been blindfolded, and his body felt cold, as if he had been walking through the snowfields of Fendel.

Except for his hand. There was something warm holding his hand.

His eyelids felt heavy, but when he managed to open them a crack, he realized that there was a vague purple silhouette sitting next to him, their hands clasping his own.

"Sophie?" His voice sounded weak even to his own ears, tiny and small.

There was a pause. He could see the person beside him freeze, and glance at him. Then, her voice gentle, she said, "You're awake."

As his vision cleared, he saw Sophie's face peering at him worriedly. Her purple hair was in a mess, and her face was muddy, with minor scratches. She looked slightly worse for the wear, but her smile was relieved as she regarded him.

Knowing that she was safe- that at least she was alright- somehow set the worry he hadn't known he had at ease.

Lambda tried to sit up, but the very action sent a jolt of pain through his body. He fell- and then he found himself supported by Sophie's arms, guiding him up into a sitting position. It seemed that his injuries had been far more severe than he had anticipated, and although he could feel his body absorbing the eleth around him to regenerate, it would take a while before he would be back at top form.

"How are you?" she asked softly, worriedly.

"I hurt." He winced as she pulled him up, gently prodding where he had been wounded. Skin covered where there had been a large, gaping tear before. It felt new, likely pulled together by eleth within the past few hours. He stared at it with a macabre fascination- he had never been wounded as a human before, and to find himself staring at skin without a scar felt wholly unnatural.

She pulled his hand away from the wound. "You started regenerating as soon as you fell asleep. I helped."

Lambda frowned. He knew how difficult it was for his body to regenerate when he had first been wounded- how difficult it felt for him to even command the eleth around him. Yet, somehow, he had managed to absorb enough eleth to regain his strength. A sudden thought struck him as he remembered the dream he had woken from. Did Fodra...?

No, he decided, shaking his head. She wouldn't have helped the very person keeping her prisoner. It had been merely a dream- an illusion.

But now he had to focus on reality. He blinked, trying to clear his mind. "Where-?"

"The bandit camp." Sophie's voice betrayed her distaste. "We were captured outside of Osprey."

A quick glance corroborated her words. They were in a small clearing in a forest, surrounded by at least two dozen armed men- bandits, Lambda presumed. The moon was already starting its slow descent through the trees. Lambda supposed that it had been almost six hours since their capture- six hours in which he had no clue as to what had happened. A small fire crackled some distance away, where the majority of the bandits had gathered. The large man that had captured them was amongst them.

But beyond the bandits, Lambda spotted something else- captives. There were easily a half-dozen villagers seated in a small huddle at the opposite end of the clearing, with two guards standing watch over them. He could make out the forms of the two children that had been with them within the huddle, and he could see chains tied around their hands and feet.

With a start, he realized that neither he nor Sophie had been bound.

Noticing his shock, Sophie explained with a thin smile, "They threatened to kill the captives if we so much as attempt an escape."

He snarled. "What do they want with us?"

She shrugged, her eyes inscrutible. "These aren't normal bandits," she stated.

"I noticed." Lambda frowned. "I assume this isn't their full force?"

"Asbel probably captured most of them," she answered. "But-"

He nodded. With a force this large, they couldn't have been mere bandits. The man who had captured them had said that they were simply after him- but for what purpose? And how had they known he'd been with the Lhant force? It was simply too well planned, but right now, his head simply hurt too much for him to sort out his muddled thoughts.

"Careful," Sophie murmured as he touched his aching head. "They clubbed you, and the wound's not fully healed yet."

"Is that why my head hurts?" he grumbled.

Sophie tried to smile. Lowering her gaze, she mumbled, "At least you aren't dead."

Instinctively, he squeezed her hand. "I told you, I would not die that easily. At most, I would have simply entered a regenerative sleep. I've been wounded before."

"I know," she murmured. "But still, it... scared me to see you like that."

"I'm touched," he smirked. "The great Protos Heis, worried about me?"

A light blush covered her cheeks. "You're horrible," she muttered.

He chuckled, then doubled over in pain as the action sent spasms through his body.

"Easy," Sophie held him tightly, easing his back against a nearby boulder.

It took a while for the pain to settle down, but with the rock supporting his weight, it faded. For a while, Lambda considered releasing hold of his human form, but he was unsure whether the effort would take too much out of him, or whether the bandits would panic at his sudden action. He knew he could not let there be any unnecessary casualties.

"What are our chances of rescue?" he asked Sopie.

She shrugged. "Asbel's coming for us," she said with utmost certainty. "But we've been moving non-stop almost ever since they captured us. If we've already crossed the border to Brind, he might not be able to follow."

Lambda nodded. The Lord of Brind, a fellow by the name of Olbrick, was one of the few lords that he knew from Asbel's and Bailey's discussions. He bore some animousity towards Asbel, partially due to his friendship with Richard and the strength of Lhant, and he would most strenuously object to Asbel bringing his men across the border. The Lhant forces would have trouble following for fear of reprisal by the rest of Windor.

"If ye're thinking to be rescued," a voice from behind him said, "Ye best put those thoughts aside."

Sophie tensed as she looked up. Peering over his shoulder, Lambda saw a tall, barrel-shaped man with an axe slung easily over his shoulder. The bandit grinned at their reactions.

"Boss wants to see ya," he told Lambda. "He ain't taking no for an answer."

"He's injured-" Sophie began sharply, but Lambda rested a hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

Wordlessly, he stood up, taking care not to strain his wounds. Exchanging a quick glance with Sophie, he could see her confusion and her worry, and he shrugged.

Reluctantly, she nodded in understanding- after all, the one person who could tell them exactly why they had been captured was the person who captured them himself.

"Only the boy," the bandit snarled as Sophie prepared to stand.

She shot the man a withering stare, and Lambda could see her tense, resting her hands on the ground. At any moment, she could attack the bandit, as open as he was-

"Sophie," Lambda said gently.

She looked at him then. He knew how helpless she felt, how she wanted to simply fight her way out of the camp. Then, with a soft sigh, she settled back onto the ground. Her brow was furrowed in consternation, and he knew she was afraid of what the bandits could want- afraid of what they could do to him, as weakened as he was.

He knew because he felt the same. Still, he tried his best to hide those thoughts and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

She returned a weak one. And even as the bandit led him away with a hand on his shoulder, steering him towards the campfire where the rest of his band were, Lambda knew that her gaze never left him.

* * *

The boss of the bandits, it seemed, was the very same man that had cornered them outside of the village and threatened them into surrender. Lambda could not hide his disgust as he beheld the pathetic human that had captured him. Tall, and broad-shouldered, the armor he wore was most probably scavenged or stolen, mismatched and incomplete. A giant broadsword was strapped across his back. He looked every bit the grizzled battle veteran- scarred, dark-haired, with a wide face. But there was an oily look in his eyes, a complacency that he was in control of the situation that Lambda felt irritated by.

The man scrutinized him with dark, beady eyes. After a while, he leaned back against the boulder he was sitting on, and grinned. "Yer supposed to be Lambda?"

"I am."

"Don't look like much," he said, toying with the dagger on his belt. "That voice of yerse- are ya sick, boy?"

Lambda chose not to respond.

"Name's Gern," the bandit leader smirked. "Pleasure to meet ya."

"Pleasure's yours," Lambda retorted sharply, folding his arms.

Gern laughed loudly at that. Wiping away a tear from his eye, he grinned at Lambda. "Ya know, fer someone that's s'posed to be the Destroyer of Worlds, ye look nothin' more than a brat."

He chose not to take the bait. "What do you want?" he asked.

"Gold." Gern lifted his cup of ale in a toast towards him. "Me an' me men? We're gettin' an extra penny fer yer capture. Our employer just wanted us to hassle that village fer a bit- but when we heard that yer lord and yerself were comin' down all the way from Lhant, well. Ye shoulda seen his face. He'd be mighty pleased knowin' we've captured ya."

"Aren't you forthcoming," Lambda smiled coldly.

"Not like ye can do anything about it," Gern reasoned. He paused, then chuckled. "Sorry- not like ye _want _to do anything about it. Not as long as we have those brats under lock and key. Ye and that lass- I saw the two of ye fight. Took on me boys without flinchin', but the moment ye realized some wee brats were in danger..."

He gave a glance at the captives nearby. They were cowed by the bandits around them, and the despair in their faces seemed to amuse Gern. The big man seemed not to care a whit about the people around him, and for some reason, that idea seemed to provoke some sort of anger in Lambda.

He continued to glare at the bandit leader. "Did you call me here to gloat?" he said.

Gern laughed, clapping his hands together joyously. The big man hardly seemed threatened by his presence at all, and it took all of Lambda's willpower not to grab the man by the neck and choke him to death. But years of solitude had trained his discipline, and he merely regarded the large bandit with a dismissive stare.

"Nah," the bandit said. "I called yer here 'cause I wanted to talk with ya."

"Talk?"

"Ya know, I don't get it." Gern sipped his drink, watching the sentience carefully. "From what I hear, yer the one that brought Ephinea to it's knees, weren't ya? Yet ya won't even lift a finger fer what, a couple o' measly humans?"

Lambda could sense Fodra voice her own displeasure at that fact. Even weakened, he had recovered enough strength to escape, and she was urging him to do so now.

But he couldn't. Not now, not when the captives were being held because of him-

"I woulda thought yer nothin' more than just a brat," the bandit continued. "If I didn't see what ye could do with me own eyes."

"And yet you thought you could capture me?" Lambda retorted. "I could kill you-"

"But, ya haven't." Gern spread his arms wide in cocky assurance. "I've heard tell what happened in Lhant, and then back there, in Osprey? Ya tried to protect that Lhant lass and a couple o' kids. You won't kill me s'long as I've got _them._ Ye've grown soft, boy."

Gern smirked knowingly at his startled expression, as if he was telling him some sort of great revelation. Lambda schooled his features quickly and resisted the urge to tear the man's face off, but judging by the bandit's growing smile, he knew he didn't hide his anger as well as he had hoped.

"You know nothing of me," he hissed.

"I know ya killed thousands of men," the bandit leader said amicably. "I know they say ye killed off an entire planet. Ye've also killed at least five of mine. And that look in yer eyes, boy? I know that look- I know _ye_. Yer a killer, Lambda, and even if ya live with yer fancy lord in his fancy castle, that ain't gonna change."

"That's-"

"Can ye deny it, lad?" Gern grinned. "There are heroes in this world. Like yer lord Lhant. But them are a minority. Most of us? We ain't villains because we want to be, but we're villains nonetheless. And ye, boy? Yer the top o' the list. Say what ye will, but ye _know _that the only thing ye've ever been good was killing. Take that away, and yer nothin' more than a fancy house ornament."

Lambda tried not to flinch as he felt his anger rise.

"Ya want t'kill me, don't ya?" The bandit's toothy grin widened. "But ye won't. Ye _can't._ Yer afraid that if ye do, ye'll lose that fancy manor, and Lord Lhant and his family's hospitality. But both ye and I know, killer to killer," Gern leaned in conspiratorially, "that ye haven't _changed_, not really. And the more ye try to be someone's house pet, the more ye wither up inside."

Lambda wanted to deny it, to spit his rejection in Gern's all-too-mocking face, but when he opened his mouth, the words would not come.

When he had talked to Sophie but a few days ago, she had reminded him of Alton. Alton was the very symbol that he had changed- that he was no longer the Lambda that merely destroyed everything around him. He was someone who was capable of kindness, someone who was capable of peace. Of change. He didn't take joy in killing. He didn't want to live in hate forever. He wasn't what Gern made him out to be- he knew that.

And yet, so very much, he wished he was. He knew that, had he been the Lambda he used to be, Gern and his bandits would already have been dead. Or perhaps trapped in a fate worse than that- their consciousness and eleth slowly consumed by him. They wouldn't have attempted to capture him, and he would be free.

But just as he knew that, he also knew that the Lambda of old would not have cared for the fate of the captives, of the other people around him. They could all be dead, and he wouldn't feel even a hint of remorse.

And somewhere, deep inside, he knew that he was still _that _Lambda. He had tried his best to avoid those thoughts, tried his best to remind himself that things were different now. Because he knew that, as hard as he could deny it, the cruel Lambda, the selfish Lambda, the one that had wanted to watch the world burn, was still as much a part of him as the very one that watched over Alton.

He could easily possess Gern before the bandit could even lift a finger- he could take over the bandit's body, and wreak havok all around him should he so choose. His fingers twitch in anticipation, and despite himself, a flicker of bloodlust crept into his thoughts- thoughts that he hadn't needed to entertain for almost a decade.

With a start, he pulled away from those memories. And then he realized that Fodra had been right. He _was _afraid- of himself.

It sickened him that the bandit leader, a mere human with nary a conscience to speak of, could see that so clearly.

There was a bitter taste in his mouth as he turned away from Gern, trying to get his thoughts in order. "Are you done?" he asked quietly.

The big bandit sighed, perhaps disappointed by his lack of response. With a wave of his hand, he dismissed Lambda, and one of the other bandits grabbed him by the shoulder and led him away, back to where Sophie was. Lambda knew he should have felt relief, but all that he could feel within his mind was a swirl of emotions that ranged from denial to fear.

He was afraid, and he had been, for the longest time.

When he looked up, he realized Sophie was still watching him, perhaps trying to discern what had happened. He could see the worry in her eyes had intensified- as if she had detected how unnerved he was, how easily Gern had struck the crux of the issue that had been plaguing him. _Nothing_ had happened, Lambda told himself. But yet, he found himself ashamed to meet her gaze. Much as he wanted to deny it, there had been a moment during his conversation- just a very brief one- when he had entertained the idea of becoming the Lambda of old, the Lambda that would have killed her- and everything precious to her- without batting an eye.

He felt disgusted with himself.

But before he could shake those thoughts away, or even try to calm his frantic mind, something happened. Surprised, he froze in mid-step as a burst of power filled the air, and he forced himself to look- because the nova monsters were _here_.

The bandit that was guiding him looked confused by the sudden pause, but before he could ask, a sharp howl pierced through the night. Lambda should have sensed the nova monsters before, but his mind was still disoriented from his whole ordeal that he hadn't known the nova monsters had completely surrounded the camp until that moment. All at once, it felt as if a thousand candles had suddenly lit up in the darkness of his mind, and he knew then that they were under attack.

They darted out of the bushes faster than he could blink. As it was, he barely had enough time to duck when a nova monster leaped at the bandit next to him, knocking the man down with a gargled scream. When he looked up, he found himself looking eye-to-eye with the beast's red, glowing eyes, its fangs stained with blood.

It was but for a split second, but there was _something _there. A thought- a reassurance. And then the nova beast lifted its head and howled to the moon.

All around him, Lambda saw nova monsters swarm out of the forests, attacking the bandits at their leisure. Gern and his men had taken out their weapons and were already locked in combat with the monsters, but they were outmatched and outnumbered- it was as if the entire nest had turned out to take the camp out.

He found himself rooted to the spot as the beasts ran amok, watching with a mix of awe and fear as the bandits fell, one by one. Blood soaked through the earth as the monsters seemed to channel a vicious rage that led to a frenzy- as if they were killing the bandits for taking him captive. They were merciless.

"Lambda!" Sophie's shout shook him out of his stupor. She stood halfway across the camp, surrounded by nova monsters. They circled her warily, aware of her power and unwilling to act. Despite her own dire situation, she was pointing towards the opposite end of the camp, towards-

_The captives. _

Lambda whirled around. A group of nova monsters had taken out the bandits that were guarding them, and had surrounded the captives. They were pressed against each other, the fear in their eyes evident. Lambda could see the children Sophie had been adamant in protecting, shielded from the nova monsters by a woman that had hugged them.

One of the monsters lurched forward-

"No!" Panic caused him to act. He flung out what power he had, yanking the beast back with a command before it could sink its claws into its prey.

Startled, the nova monsters all around the camp stopped and turned. Most of the bandits already lay dead and scattered at their feet, but the few that remained quickly seized their chance and fled while they could. The villagers continued to huddle in their corner, afraid, as the nova monsters hesitantly approached him.

They gathered around him, an assortment of beings that came in all shapes and sizes. Were he a normal human, he would have been terrified at the sight of so many monsters watching him. Eyeing him. Were he a normal human, Lambda knew, they would have already attacked him. But he wasn't- and they held no malice towards him. Only confusion.

And Lambda found himself at the crossroads that he had been so eager to avoid.

He didn't know what to think, or what to feel. The monsters were looking to him for guidance, yet all around him, he could see the bloody destruction they had caused. These were creatures that should never have existed, creatures that had to be destroyed.

And he knew then, the reason why he had been so reluctant to act. In the eyes of the nova monsters, he saw himself, who he had been. He saw his own fear.

He hated it. He hated _himself._

Eleth gathered in the palm of his hand, and he reached out-

And then suddenly, someone grabbed hold of his arm. A second was all it took for him to realize Sophie stood right by his side. Somehow, she had slipped through the nova monsters and crossed the camp before he could act, and now she had grabbed ahold of him and it didn't look like she wanted to let go. Her fingernails dug into the skin of his arm, and the pain- and the surprise- gave him pause as he looked at her.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, her purple eyes full with anger.

Lambda frowned in consternation. "What are _you_?" he retorted. "The nova monsters-"

"Saved us." Sophie glared at him. "Saved _you._"

Lambda looked at the monsters around him. They hadn't moved, watching him with confusion and fear. Somehow they knew that the greatest threat to them wasn't Protos Heis, but himself. He could feel their thoughts- and beyond that, he could feel the bond of loyalty that held them rooted to the spot, willing to accept his judgement, whatever it may be-

The ball of eleth wavered in his hand. He had never felt so confused in his life- not even when Asbel had confronted him after their battle. He knew that destroying the nova monsters, cleaning up the mess he had caused, was the _right _thing to do. And yet, he knew it _wasn't._ Helplessly, he turned to Sophie.

There was no doubt in her eyes. He knew she didn't want him to do this.

"You're their creator," Sophie insisted. "They were created through no fault of their own, and have only acted as they were taught to. They aren't_ evil_."

He knew that she wasn't only talking about the nova monsters_. _He could see it in the unwavering trust in her eyes, the desperation in her voice as she tried to reach him.

He looked at them.

Once, he had told her that they weren't mindless monsters. They were important to him- in a sense, they were _his _children. His responsibility. Cornell had taught him the duty of a father should be one to protect their children, come what may. Asbel had taught him that sometimes all one needed- even a monster like himself- was a second chance.

They came in all shapes and sizes, but their thoughts were the same. They resonated through his mind, as weakened as it was, and he knew they cared for him. They had been worried- so worried- for his well-being, ever since he had fallen silent seven years ago. They wanted to know if they could help him, in any way- any way at all-

He pulled away from their link, trying to think. The eleth in his hand flickered, ready to destroy at any moment- but he hesitated. He knew what he had been about to do was what Emeraude would have done; what the Lambda of old would have done, what _Gern _said he would always end up doing- removing any obstacle that stood in his path regardless of the cost simply because it was there. Hurting, betraying, being swallowed up by his own fears and anger-

Out of the confusion in his mind, a single thought rang through: he didn't want to be that Lambda again.

If they had to die, it would not be by his hand. That realization destroyed any indecision, any fear, that he had.

The eleth that had been gathered around him was easily dispelled. His hand shook as he lowered his arm, but when he did, Lambda felt a collective sigh of relief from the beasts around him. They did not relax, keeping their gaze trained on him. They knew that they had barely avoided annihilation, but they knew enough of him to know that he wasn't done yet.

He forced himself to breathe and looked around him, trying to organize his chaotic thoughts. The villagers were unharmed, but were still terrified and huddled in their corner. The surviving bandits had already fled. He did not see Gern amongst the dead.

Sophie was watching him with utmost concern. Even now, she had not let go of his arm, but having her close by felt more of a comfort than a burden. If it weren't for her, he knew he would have made a terrible decision that he could not take back; done a horrible mistake that would have destroyed any progress he had made.

"I-" he began, but his voice wavered.

She shook her head, silencing any words he had. The small smile she gave him told him that she understood. "It's alright," she said simply.

The nova monsters around him were still waiting for his instructions. Likewise, the villagers had their eyes upon him. Without a doubt, Lambda knew that he was at a turning point- whatever decision he made now would have to make him face the mistakes of his past, and to distinguish who he was now. The weight felt heavy.

"What do I do?" he whispered.

Sophie's smile was gentle as she let go of his arm. "You already know," she told him.

He blinked- and realized that she was right.

Turning to the monsters around him once more, he reached out through the link he shared with all of them. They wouldn't understand words, but they could sense his intentions and his thoughts, just like he could sense theirs. In them, he could feel the hatred he once held for the world- a hatred that wanted to drag him in and drown him, a hatred that he told them would no longer suffice.

One by one, the nova monsters accepted his will. They were hardly as troublesome as Fodra, and it didn't take him long to persuade them to his point of view. They would not attack the humans to destroy them. They would not drain the eleth far more than they needed to. He knew that they would not break their word, and gave them his gratitude, and his apology.

When he broke the connection, he stumbled, unprepared for the toll the simple act of communicating to the nova monsters exacted upon him. There were spots in his vision, and the eleth in his body was all but depleted. But his task wasn't complete yet.

Glancing back towards the captives, he could see that they had reasonably calmed down. While they were still hesitant to approach the monsters or Lambda, their fear had subsided, replaced with a cautious curiousity.

"They will not harm you," he told them as he approached the group.

"Then why are they still here?" a woman retorted. "Are we your captives now?"

Lambda shook his head. "I have no need for prisoners. No- they'll be our escorts as we return to Osprey." Sensing their disbelief, he smirked. "Would you rather wait for the bandits to return after I depart?"

The villagers shook their heads. At first, he saw their indecision. Some of them glanced towards Sophie, and then to him. But eventually, it seemed that they, too, had accepted his words. Hesitantly, the little boy was the first to disentengle himself from the huddle. Lambda watched with a small measure of pride as he approached the circle of nova monsters. He paused for a moment, as if aware how much danger he was in, and with a last, furtive glance at Lambda, he walked in between two huge bat-like creatures and joined where Sophie stood. As soon as he passed through unharmed, the others followed.

Within an hour, their small group had left the bandit's camp. The first rays of sunlight slowly crept through the cover of the trees as they progressed through the Brind wilderness. Lambda found himself at the head of the unusual party, riding atop a wolf-like nova monster when Sophie insisted he rest lest he collapse halfway through the journey. She kept pace with his steed, as if unwilling to let him out of her sight. Behind them, the six villagers were accompanied by the nova monsters, who hardly seemed interested in destroying anything. It was through the nova monsters' directions that Lambda even knew where they were going.

After an hour or two of silent trudging, Sophie spoke.

"What you did was the right thing."

She wasn't looking at him, instead keeping her gaze fixed on the forest trail in front of them. But her voice was light, and the words she spoke seemed to pierce through the dark memories of the bandit camp that still clung to his mind.

"Are you certain of that?" He pulled a smirk, taking comfort in how easily they had fallen back into a familiar pattern of banter. "There are some that would insinuate that I am building up my forces to renew my offensive."

Sophie rolled her eyes. "Are you?"

"I have no such inclination at the moment."

She nodded. Then she said softly, as if she knew the impact the words would have on him, she said, "Cornell would have been proud."

Lambda looked up at the rising sun, a small smile on his face.

"Yes," he murmured softly. "I think he would."

* * *

_Apologies in advance! I'm kiiiinda caught up with schoolwork/random other games/life/moving around and I only have one buffer chapter left, so, fair warning, after the next two weeks, I'm not sure when you'll see another update. I'll **try **not to let it go beyond a month though, but oh well. _


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

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Asbel could never hate being Lord of Lhant. When he was a child, he had resented the idea that his future had already been decided for him, but now, he knew it was the one way he could protect everything he cared about. It was something that was more than just a job. No matter how difficult it was, being the Lord of Lhant was more than just an idea, it was being a person. It was who he was, through and through.

That didn't stop him from silently cursing the political baggage that came from _being _the Lord of Lhant, though.

He tried to keep his face calm as he sat across the table from Lord Olbrick of Brind. Bailey stood by his right, with the Osprey village head seated on his left. By all appearances, it was a diplomatic negotiation- Olbrick had his own guards and retainers at his end, and the older lord was watching him like a hawk would his prey.

Asbel tried not to let his impatience and anger show. For he knew, with every moment that he was simply _sitting _here, any chance he had of saving Sophie and Lambda was getting smaller by the second.

"Why won't you let us pursue the bandits?" Asbel asked Olbrick seriously, dispensing with the pleasantries once the introductions were done.

The Lord of Brind simply arched an eyebrow in return. Olbrick wasn't a tall man, but he was about Malik's height. That said, unlike the ex-Captain of the Knights, Olbrick was slightly rotund and bore the eyes of a politician rather than a warrior. His gray hair clung to his scalp like weeds, mostly hidden away by his cap. Indeed, although he bore the trappings of nobility, Asbel had heard enough about him to know that the Lord of Brind was a coward that hid behind his birthright.

Asbel hated dealing with people like Olbrick.

"If what you say is true, your bandits have already absconded into Brind," Olbrick replied calmly, twiddling his pudgy, ring-bearing fingers. "It would not be fit for the Lord of Lhant to abandon his people to pursue some ruffians. Rest assured, my men are already on their trail. When we find the captives, we will return them to Lhant, safe and sound."

"My family-"

"You have no proof that your daughter was even taken," Olbrick pointed out.

"She's not dead," Asbel retorted sharply, his sword-hand clenched tightly around the hilt of his sword.

"I never said she was," the Lord of Brind drawled. "But it was highly irresponsible of you to even bring your child- a mere girl, at that!- to a battlefield." The man wrinkled his nose. "Even if she claims to be some mythical legendary hero. Who knows, perhaps she simply ran away. Most people wouldn't have the stomach for battle- let alone a stray mongrel."

The redhead narrowed his eyes, trying to ignore the insult. "Sophie's no coward."

"Indeed," Olbrick acquiesced. "But perhaps she went off in pursuit of Lambda. You brought it along as well, didn't you?"

Asbel hated the smirk that the other lord was giving him, hated the way his voice was oily and mocking when it came to Sophie and Lambda. "What are you insinuating, Olbrick?" he spat.

Olbrick leaned forward then, the table creaking slightly under the weight of his arms. There was a cold, sharp intelligence in his eyes that didn't seem to fit with the rest of the pudgy noble. "Perhaps Lambda was never taken," he said quietly.

It took all of Asbel's self-restraint not to draw his sword right then and there. Still, before he could formulate a reply, the village head spoke.

"A-are you saying that the bandits returned by _his _orders?" the old man cried, aghast.

"I wouldn't say anything like _that_," Olbrick said, feigning horror. He continued eyeing Asbel with that same mocking smile in his eyes. "After all, he came with Lord Lhant, didn't he?"

"Have a care with your words," Bailey spoke up then, intervening before the young lord could even open his mouth. "Lambda is a member of the Lhant household, and has not done any wrong ever since he joined us. Instead, aren't you the one who breached etiquette, Lord Olbrick? Bringing your military into Lhant lands could be seen as a sign of aggression."

Asbel briefly made a mental note to get Bailey a pay raise- the man-at-arms was argumentative, cautious, and a stickler for the rules, but he was also ruthlessly loyal to his lord. Over the years, Asbel had come to learn that despite whatever doubts Bailey held towards him in private, all of that would automatically disappear at the slightest provocation against him. With a tight smile, the young lord glanced once more to his opposite and took some comfort in the fact that the mocking sneer was gone from Olbrick's face.

"Such an accusation!" Olbrick looked horrified. "If it weren't for my men, yours would have been overrun by savages!"

"We had it under control," Asbel deadpanned. Indeed, despite their small numbers, the Lhant forces had managed to subdue the bandits with only minor injuries, and there were no casualties on their side- just missing villagers, at the moment. The bandits were not as lucky.

"I could not simply hang back and watch as my mother's village was being attacked!" Olbrick protested. "Lord Lhant, surely you understand."

"Then you must understand why I _must_ pursue those bandits," Asbel retorted, quick to seize the offensive.

"And you would abandon your people, as wounded and disorganized as they are?" Olbrick asked, hand on his chest.

"Spare me your theatrics-" Asbel began, only to stop when Bailey rested a hand on his shoulder.

The man-at-arms merely shook his head and jerked his head towards Asbel's other side. With a sinking heart, Asbel realized that the village head was watching him with sad, jaded eyes. Eyes filled with distrust and doubt that Asbel was all-too-familiar with when he first took up his father's position.

He _hated _politics.

"Meeting adjourned," he said roughly, shoving himself off his seat. He had barely gotten out of the tent when Bailey caught up with him.

"Lord Asbel-"

He didn't wait for Bailey to finish, slashing his hand through the air in a smooth, silencing motion. With a sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I blew it, didn't I?" Asbel asked.

To his credit, the man-at-arms didn't give him a triumphant 'I told you so'. Instead, with a straight face, he supplied, "You did better than I expected, sir."

The redhead chuckled slightly, but there was no mirth in his voice. He glanced around, at the tents that had been haphazardly set up to accommodate the sudden influx of Brind troops. They had appeared all of a sudden as the battle died down, swooping in to stop the escaping bandits before they fled.

"How likely is it that they had a training mission so close to the border?" he asked nobody in particular.

"It isn't unfeasible," Bailey replied cautiously.

"At night?"

The man-at-arms simply shrugged. "There is no other reason why the Lord of Brind would have come so close to Lhant." Seeing the look on his lord's face, he continued quietly, "To accuse Olbrick of being in charge of the attack on Osprey without any proof would be tantamount to suicide, Asbel. If it fails, Lhant might be accused of treason."

"I _know _that." Asbel ran a hand through his red hair as he tracked the path of the rising sun. "But they're out there, Bailey. And I know Lambda wouldn't have-"

He choked, unable to continue. To even voice out the idea that the child that smiled so freely at him in Lhant- the person that had _shared his mind for three years_- could have even betrayed him elicited far greater disgust than anything Asbel could describe. A familiar denial- the one that he held when it was Richard he had been defending- rang through his mind, but he knew this time, it wasn't true. It couldn't be.

A darker, more cynical voice in his mind retorted that he had thought the same about Richard once before.

"We haven't found any traces of them," Bailey said softly.

Asbel nodded. "Then they were taken."

Bailey watched him with deep sadness. "You know how unlikely that is."

It was true- Sophie could easily hold her own against monsters like the Rockagong, and she had fought alongside him against Lambda. And Lambda himself, weakened as he was, was still a threat in his own right. They couldn't have been killed- Asbel refused to believe that- but they couldn't have so easily been captured either. The logical explanation that Olbrick was championing was that Lambda had.._. reverted_- and Sophie had chased after him once more. But that wasn't right, Asbel knew.

"He was talking about redeeming himself, Bailey," Asbel insisted. "He wouldn't."

"Asbel," Bailey was talking to him like his father would, gently trying to get his attention. "He's been out and about for five years. You don't know what he's thinking anymore. A man could say one thing, but think another entirely."

"But you defended him," the young lord pointed out.

"I'm not saying Olbrick is right," Bailey continued. "He's been perfectly harmless so far, but what if _he's_ the one playing all of us all along? Can you really change habits that have lasted for a thousand years? Maybe the nova monsters-"

"You're saying they're his doing too?"

"You're really going to be stubborn about this, aren't you?"

Asbel thought for a moment. He was about to respond when a low bellow echoed through the still morning air.

They both knew it to be the sound of the warning horn. The two men exchanged glances, and without a word, they sprinted in unison towards the camp entrance.

Located some distance away from the Lhant encampment and Osprey, the Brind camp had been hastily built near the forested hills by the border. The soldiers were always on alert, and Asbel was hardly surprised when he saw the large gathering of troops that had already convened at the camp entrance when they arrived. He was much less pleased to see Olbrick and his retainers there, as well.

But any irritation he held soon disappeared when he laid eyes upon what it was that unnerved the camp sentries so. It wasn't another horde of bandits- it was the nova monsters. A single glance told him that there were at least twenty in number, but any trace of despair or frustration he had felt simply blinked out of existence when he spotted the humans alongside the beasts.

It had been reported that there had been six missing villagers from Osprey- a quick headcount told him that there were six humans amidst the nova monsters. But it was the appearance of the other two in the party that brought a joyous relief to his heart.

Lambda was seated at the head of the small group, atop a beast, with Sophie standing by his side. They seemed hesitant to approach, and who could blame them? Already, the soldiers around him were nervous at the sudden appearance of the nova monsters. It would only take a simple misunderstanding to light the fuse and set the keg on fire.

Olbrick, it seemed, was a trigger-happy killjoy. "To arms," he called sharply above the confusion, raising his arm to point towards the nova monsters.

Asbel decided he had enough of the Lord of Brind for one day. "Hold!" he yelled, his voice trained by years of responding to Malik's commands within the Knight Academy.

Hesitantly, the soldiers glanced around in confusion.

"Lord Asbel, I must insist," Olbrick protested, his cheeks puffed up in consternation as the young lord pushed himself through the crowd to stand before him.

"If any one of your men attacks," Asbel said seriously, resting one hand on his sword, "I will cut him down where he stands. Is that understood, Lord Olbrick?"

"That's-"

Olbrick glared at him then, but Asbel was hardly intimidated by the older man. There was a time when he might have hesitated- wondered whether he was doing what the Lord of Lhant should do, pushing another noble lord like this. But being the Lord of Lhant, he found himself thinking wryly, was more than just a job. And he would be damned if he let Olbrick hurt any of _his _people.

The other lord broke eye contact first. "Stand down," he called. Despite the confusion that followed, the soldiers around the two lords slowly put down their weapons, exchanging furtive glances around as they did so. Olbrick himself seemed to be muttering something about greenhorns to his aides, but did not prove any further interference.

Asbel nodded once, then, he turned away from Lord Olbrick and stalked off through the crowd. The soldiers let him pass without hesitation, and Bailey simply gave him a look that told him he understood.

The young lord of Lhant trudged up the grassy knoll alone, well aware that he was being watched by the entire encampment and then some, but he didn't care. All he saw were the two young people that were waiting for him, the two children he had been afraid he had lost forever.

He had barely made it halfway when Lambda descended from his mount with Sophie's aid, and the two of them ran towards him. Twin heads of purple and teal tackled into him before he even knew what was happening, and two pairs of arms wrapped themselves tightly around his torso. If he didn't feel so overjoyed, Asbel would have found this quite endearing.

In that moment, he let any semblance of Asbel, Lord of Lhant, fade. His duty demanded that he get details, check up on the survivors, and try to organize the situation and debrief his troops. But right now, he didn't want to be the Lord of Lhant, didn't want to have to maintain proper protocol and act as if he wasn't worried sick out of his mind, as if he didn't _care_.

Right now, he was only Asbel, the father and friend, collapsed on one knee, hugging his two adopted children as fiercely as he could, trying his best to ignore the prickling sensation in his eyes.

No words were needed in that moment.

* * *

Lambda had needed rest, having collapsed soon after the reunion. Sophie explained that he had exhausted his eleth supply and simply needed to rest to regenerate. Bailey, surprisingly enough, volunteered to take the sentience back to Osprey. Asbel could have sworn that there was an apologetic look in the man-at-arm's eyes as he picked up the small, child-like body that Lambda had so preferred, carrying him gently back to the village. It was a start, he supposed. Bailey would not harm Lambda- he owed him that much, at least.

The captive villagers were likewise exhausted, and somewhat traumatised. Yet they were healthy and whole, and more importantly, they were _safe. _

He spent the rest of the day talking with Lord Olbrick and organizing the efforts to rebuild Osprey, while trying to calm the villagers. The older lord didn't question him, but Asbel knew, from the petulant looks Olbrick shot in his direction and the way he seemed to be reluctant to even listen to him, that the Lord of Brind had not taken kindly to being shamed in front of his own troops. Still, Asbel was not so foolish- despite Lambda's constant insistence- to incite trouble where there was none, and had spent the whole afternoon placating the pudgy noble as well as the fears of the Osprey people.

Still, there was nothing that could have dampened the sense of relief that pervaded through his mind. Not just because the villagers were safe, but because his worst fears had been unfounded, after all.

At least, until he talked to Sophie.

She had waited for him by the outskirts of the Lhant camp sometime after dinner, watching as the nova monsters dispersed harmlessly back into the forest. They lurked awkwardly around the village- out of fear for Lambda's safety, Sophie had said- and to their credit, the villagers and soldiers had tolerated their presence. The people had heard most of what had happened from the rescued villagers, but nonetheless, Asbel made a mental note to talk to Lambda about the monsters, and what they meant for the village of Osprey.

But now, there were more important matters to handle.

"They were being paid by someone," Sophie stated matter-of-factly. "To antagonize Osprey. Catching Lambda was just the icing on the cake."

Asbel nodded, taking the information in his stride. "Bailey reported that the bandit trail he had been following was a decoy. He returned to Osprey just in time to fight the main horde off. They were too well-organized to be simple bandits." He sighed. "What worries me is the why, rather than the how."

Sophie shrugged. "They didn't say. Lambda talked to their leader for a bit, but I don't think it was about the village."

She frowned as she said that, as if she were pondering some deep, heavy question.

"Did Lambda say anything?"

His adopted daughter shook his head. "The nova monsters freed us before he could tell me, and after that, he said that it was nothing of concern." She paused. "Whatever that man said scared him though, but he was fine after."

The Lord of Lhant wondered whether he should press the subject, but he knew from the subtle frustration in her bearing that Sophie knew no more than he did. Lambda was not easily scared, he knew, but what worried him more was that someone had tried to capture him for money. It made him feel as though he had failed in his duty, somehow, even though both his wards and his people were now safe and sound.

"Well, we knew that Lambda had a price on his head," Asbel muttered. "Still, whoever's paying these bandits to attack Osprey must be pretty wealthy to get them to go around Windor's laws."

"Will you talk to Richard?" Sophie asked. She was watching him with a wide-eyed expectation. Asbel wondered wistfully just how long it had been since he had spoken with his best friend. The new king was always busy with his duties, so it was to be expected that they mostly corresponded solely through letters, but the dilemma that bothered him now was best not put to paper. And it would be good to see his old friend again.

"Maybe." Asbel smiled. "I'm sure he'd like to see how you and Lambda are doing as well."

The young girl's face brightened then, and he swore her eyes literally sparkled with the same intensity as when Cheria told her they were eating crablettes for dinner. It always reminded him that no matter how old she was, or how much bigger she looked now, Sophie was still essentially the same, (mostly) innocent and easy-going girl he had always known.

It didn't help quell his parental instincts much, though.

"How did the two of you get captured anyway?" Asbel asked with a sigh. "There were plenty of them, but they weren't _that _tough."

Something he said must have struck a raw nerve, though, for Sophie's eyes dimmed, and she looked away. "Lambda got hurt pretty badly," she said by way of explanation. "A sword stab through the back."

He could scarcely conceal his shock. "But that shouldn't have even fazed him! When we were fighting him back in the core, he didn't even seem to _feel _my sword strikes at all!"

Sophie nodded. "He's lost a lot of eleth."

"I see." Asbel frowned, trying not to let his inner thoughts show. He knew something like this was bound to happen. _Knew _it, deep in his gut. Lambda had protested that he was being the overprotective fool, that his feelings were unfounded. Yet, the Lord of Lhant knew that Lambda had simply been trying to deny his own greatest fear. For the sentience's own sake, Asbel had hoped it wouldn't come to pass- at least, not until Pascal was done. It was why he hadn't wanted him to come along in the first place.

But when he looked at the determination in Lambda's earnest, red eyes that day, Asbel knew he couldn't say no. Especially not when it was _Lambda's _decision to take a step forward this time, rather than let himself be forced to it.

That didn't help ease the guilt he felt at all.

"He wouldn't have died," Sophie murmured, catching the look in his eyes. "But I could tell he was in pain."

It was all he could do to nod. There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach then, a deep sense of worry- like this was merely an omen of bad things yet to come.

And somehow, Asbel felt rather than thought, he wouldn't be able to protect Lambda from what was about to happen this time.

* * *

It was sometime after her talk with Asbel that Sophie decided to wander around a bit. She was still far too edgy from the events of the day to have retired early, even though a normal girl would have already been toppling over with exhaustion. Sophie knew that the bodies of the Fodran Queens possessed far more endurance than a normal human, but even so, the whole adventure was far more than she had been used to recently.

But she hadn't wanted to rest just yet, not when everyone was busy. So she had spent the day helping where she was able, and yet, even by the time the moon had reached its zenith, she still felt too listless to close her eyes.

So she wandered around the village, watching as everyone settled in for the night. Off in the distance, she could hear the nova monster's blood-curling howls. Even now, her muscles tensed at the familiar sound. Lambda had promised that they would not attack her or the villagers, but the thought that they were nearby set her ill-at-ease.

After all, it had taken her years before she relaxed in Lambda's presence. Still, she did believe what she had said- the monsters weren't evil. They just didn't like her all that much, and vice versa. She could be content with that.

Glad that there was nothing amiss, she turned to return to the village. Even if her body still yearned to move, Sophie decided it was time pragmatism dictated that she at least shut her eyes for a while, lest she be too tired to move in the morning.

Yet, she had scarcely taken a step in that direction when she spotted a furtive, white-robed figure sneaking out of the village entrance.

She knew who it was instantaneously. With an exasperated sigh, she decided that sleep could be held off for a while- if only to make sure that Lambda didn't kill himself from exhaustion.

She tailed him silently like a shadow. Something told her he hadn't wanted to be spotted leaving the village (probably to avoid a lecture from Asbel, if Sophie had to guess). But her curiousity was piqued- Lambda had been worn out by all that had happened, so whatever reason he had for sneaking out had to be _important. _

Eventually, he stopped at the villager's empty fields. Sophie had seen them when they first arrived at Osprey- they looked dead and withered, and it brought a great sadness to her when she juxtaposed them to the image she had of the soft farmland in Lhant's centre and the flower beds she tended to so carefully. She had avoided them because of that, but now she wondered just what it was that brought Lambda here, of all places?

"You can come out now, Sophie." Lambda scarcely looked in her direction when he spoke, but there was a tinge of mild humor in his deep voice.

She sighed. "Am I losing my edge?" she wondered wistfully as she joined him.

"No," Lambda said, his red eyes watching her with a sage-like seriousness, "You're just too predictable."

She pouted at that. The corner of his mouth twitched imperceptibly, and she knew he was trying to hold back a triumphant laugh.

"And you're going to kill yourself with exhaustion," Sophie retorted.

"Naturally," Lambda smirked. "It would be such a prosaic way to meet my end, wouldn't you say?"

She sighed in exasperation. If only she had known that being nice to Lambda would mean that he would stop threatening to destroy the world and snark her to death instead. "You're incorrigible."

"Hardly, but I thank you for the compliment." He gave her a little bow then, before turning back towards the fields.

She stood in silence as he surveyed the land. He crouched down, careful not to let the soil muddy his white clothes, prodding the earth with his fingertips. Then, he scooped up a handful of dirt and let the soil sift through his fingers.

"Why did you come out here for?" she asked when her curiosity became too much to bear.

He paused for a moment before responding. "Asbel had wondered whether it was possible for the eleth in these fields to be restored by my intervention. At first, I was unsure whether I could do such a feat."

Sophie frowned. "But you can't. You're too weak to even recover from a wound, let alone heal the land itself."

Lambda shrugged. "Maybe not. But if I can even speed the process up a bit, if I can even do something to help..." His voice drifted off for a moment, as if he was talking to someone else. "It's better than doing nothing at all."

Despite herself, she found herself smiling. "Is this the same Lambda that was scared of leaving Lhant manor?" she teased.

He looked at her then, his red eyes crinkling with mirth and his teal hair blowing softly in the wind. He was smiling- one of those rare, gentle smiles that seemed so out of place on Lambda's face, and yet gave her such joy to behold. "Do you find it abhorrent?" he returned.

"Not at all," she chuckled, stepping onto the soft earth.

He frowned, confused by her actions. "What do you intend to do?"

"I'm going to help you," she replied, settling down by his side. "Gardening's my forte. And I can control the eleth too, remember?"

"You hardly have anything to redeem yourself for," he retorted without hesitation, a small frown creasing his features.

She shrugged. "I just want to help."

He seemed stunned by the idea. At first his eyes widened, and there was a faint colour in his cheeks as he turned away. "Thank you," he murmured mutedly.

Sophie was sure that if anyone could see her now, the smile on her face would be so wide it would have split her face in two.

They worked in companionable silence then, infusing a gentle stream of eleth into the dead and crumbly earth. It would take years for the fields to fully recover, but by the time they were done, Sophie could sense the gentle flicker of life within the earth, the revitalizing ebb and flow of eleth that would eventually support life in Osprey once more.

Judging by the awed expression on her companion's face, she knew he could feel it too- the life that he had once taken away; the life he now restored.

"I'll tell Asbel to bring in some cryas from the mines," Lambda murmured. "Hopefully the villagers would be able to plant some seedlings before it's too late."

"They'll make it."

They fell back into silence then, faces upturned as they watched the moon. The gentle spring breeze whistled through the air, brushing her hair against her cheeks. All around them, Sophie saw untamed wilderness, save for the single gathering of lights that marked where Osprey and the two military camps were.

It was a good feeling that she had long missed, she thought. Perhaps it was part of her psyche, being the so-called Saviour of Ephinea, but she truly did enjoy knowing that her actions helped the people all around her.

"Sophie."

Lambda's quiet voice drew her attention. She found him still crouched on the ground, his face strangely guarded.

"You once said you were glad you didn't destroy me," he said slowly, as if the words felt difficult to state.

"I did."

"Why?"

She took a moment to consider the question. It wasn't hard to answer, no, but she knew that the answer had to be phrased perfectly. Finally, she nodded.

"Because you aren't evil."

"I'm not-" He paused, considering her words.

"You saved those children, Lambda," she said firmly. "You saved the nova monsters. You have a kind, and caring heart."

His eyes widened at the thought. Perhaps he hadn't really considered his actions as benevolent, despite what he had done. Perhaps he had been so used to the idea that he was evil that the thought that he wasn't was foreign to him.

She gave him a moment to mull over the idea.

Then, hesitantly, he muttered, "So is yours. You risked your life to make sure mine was safe."

"So I did," she beamed then. "Is that a compliment, Lambda?"

"Perhaps," he rumbled.

She chuckled. Glancing at the moon once more, she recalled how it was on a night such as this when she had first persuaded him to find his own life. How far they had gone, she marvelled. How much they had changed.

"There is one more reason, though."

"Oh?" He watched her cautiously, as if expecting some sort of trap.

"You're my dear friend."

He stared at her in amazement, before bursting into a deep, unrestrained laughter.

She smiled, knowing that she had gotten the answer just right.


	10. Chapter 9

_I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed or faved this story. It's really uplifting to know that people like what I'm writing, and I'll try to push out updates along the usual schedule for as long as I can~_

* * *

**Chapter 9**

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The dreamscape was calm, like it always was. The vast expanse of emptiness stretched out all around him, the surface of the ground rippling like water, the air still. Nothing interrupted the wide open space, save for the woman that stood before him.

Fodra hovered but a mere three feet away, her eyes crinkling with amusement as she waited, her arms folded. They had been staring at each other for what felt like an eternity; she watching, while he, reluctant to speak. For some reason, even though he knew the words, he couldn't seem to voice them out. It was stupid, he thought. In this realm, sharing one mind, they both could tell what he was thinking. To voice it would only be a formality- but a formality, it seemed, that Fodra wanted him to take; and they both knew that she had the utmost patience to wait while he squirmed.

At last, he sighed. "When I was injured... you healed me."

She smirked. "You sound surprised by that."

"You do not deny it."

The goddess's eyes narrowed, aware she had let something slip. Then, with a sigh, she gave a careless shrug.

"Do you not hate me?" Lambda gestured around at the emptiness around them. "You bear all of Fodra's anger. Why would you help your own captor?"

The goddess laughed then. "We both know that if anger was all that I was capable of feeling, you would not have attempted to reason with me. Much as I find all of this-" She swept her arm in a mirror of his own action- "foolish, no." Her face fell pensive as she regarded him. "No, I do not hate you."

Lambda frowned. After he had returned from Osprey, he had thought hard about that night when he had almost fallen into a deep, unwakeable slumber. It took him a long time to admit what he had known for quite some time- that it had been Fodra who saved him, for some obscure reason, providing him with her eleth at the expense of her own power- a sacrifice that he didn't know why she would make. And whatever the reason was, his own caution (and curiousity) insisted that he find it out.

"Why?" he asked bluntly, watching the goddess warily.

"The same reason why you saved those nova beasts." She barely hesitated in her response. Fodra looked at him then with a crooked smile, still the nonchalant powerful goddess. But he could sense it all around him- an undercurrent of sadness. He could see it in her eyes, the way she looked at him. "You were once my child."

He swallowed, trying not to reveal the surprise he felt at her acknowledgement. Despite how welcoming she seemed, he knew better than to let his guard down. Fodra, after all, was a masterful chess player. "You held no such feelings for humanity."

"No." Fodra sighed dramatically then. "Had I known that they would be such foolish creatures to turn on their own home, I would have culled them when they were weak. Or perhaps that is what I wanted all along." She flashed him an enigmatic smile. "Everything in the universe is created for a reason, after all."

"Why did you... _create _me then?" Lambda asked. The words were a struggle to say, as if each syllable weighed a ton on his tongue. "Why was I..." His voice drifted off, unable to put the thought to words. His earliest memory, before the scientists had captured him, was of the sound of rushing water and shimmering lights, flashing images of simply existing somewhere vastly deep and strangely warm. Later, as he travelled with Asbel, he realized it had been a memory of Fodra's core. They had said he had been found there, yet nobody knew anything of why he was even there to begin with. Except for Fodra, herself.

And here she was- the one person that could answer the question that had been plaguing him for years, the one person that could tell him the reason why he- a monster, in the eyes of many, incapable of redemption- was even _alive. _He had always known that _she _had known, yet it wasn't until now that he found the strength to confront her.

There was a pregnant pause then. She was watching him again with those terrifyingly green eyes, yet her face betrayed nothing. He could sense nothing from her, not even a hint of what she felt or thought. It was as if all of a sudden, she had drawn all her thoughts back to her and thrown up a shield between them that she _knew _he would not attempt to breach, leaving the mindscape without a trace of her presence. All at once, he was reminded by how little he knew of Fodra.

With a sigh, she turned away. "You are happy, are you not? It does not matter now, Lambda."

She began to fade then, disappearing as she always did. Yet, this time, he found himself desperate, and angry- angry that she would withold an answer to something this important. She knew how hard it had been, these past few years- how hard he had struggled to pull out some semblance of a life; a life which he never understood why he was given. Had she laughed at him, watching as this measly insect she had created struggled to be more than the assigned role she had given him?

Angrily, he said, "Why, Fodra? Was I simply your weapon against humanity, nothing more?"

The green-haired woman chose not to respond. Instead, she began walking away from him at a brisk pace. They both knew she couldn't escape- this was her way of telling him that the conversation was over.

"Do you resent what I have done to you?" he yelled at her retreating back.

Perhaps it was the uncharacteristic hurt in his voice that gave her pause, but she faltered, mid-step. Hesitantly, the goddess glanced over her shoulder once, fixing him with a guarded gaze. And then she faded into the mist, her presence in his mind retreating till it was all but gone.

And at that moment, Lambda hated that the emptiness in his mindscape meant that there was nothing for him to vent his rage on.

* * *

It had been Sophie's idea to take up his offer on sparring. Perhaps she had missed the adrenaline rush of battle, or perhaps, Lambda thought darkly as he made note of the way the Lhant family kept watching him worriedly ever since their return from Osprey, they were worried of his ability to take care of himself. Admittedly, he hadn't exactly been the domineering, overwhelming force of the stories, and sometimes he could still recall the dull ache of the eleth seeping from his body as the bandit's blade slid through his flesh. With much reluctance, he admitted that perhaps he _was_ getting rusty.

And so, with Asbel's blessing, the two of them began occasional light, evening duels in the flower meadow a distance away from Lhant. Both had agreed that it was probably for the best that he did not take on his full form for fear of wasting eleth, but even with a human body, Lambda had several lifetimes of combat experience and could hold his own against Sophie if she wasn't serious. Yet, despite that, he found himself faltering when he found a gap in her guard, a hesitation which usually ended up with him flat on his back, sore from one of her throws. Needless to say, their spars usually ended up the same way their real battles always had.

It was sometime after his 'talk' with Fodra that he found himself in one such situation once more. He had pulled back when he realized he could have landed a hit on the girl, and she had eagerly taken his stumble and tossed him, as she always did. Lambda sighed deeply, glad that the soft earth at least broke the impact of his numerous falls.

"You're hesitating." Sophie peered at him curiously as he lay flat on his back, unwilling to move. She sat on her haunches, but did not offer her hand.

"And you do not," he responded simply.

She frowned. "You're being evasive again."

He chortled then. "Evidently not well enough," he muttered, pushing himself off the ground.

"You know what I mean," she grumbled.

And he did. But what could he say to her? Even though he knew things were _different_, and _he _was different, he couldn't quite block Gern's words completely from his mind. It wouldn't take a lot of effort, after all, for him to easily destroy everything he had worked so hard to build. Destruction was second nature to him- who was to say that he wouldn't accidentally harm her, she who was his antithesis, out of a force of habit? Or worse, what if, despite his best intentions, it wasn't entirely accidental?

Still, staring into her purple eyes seemed to always prove to be a trap to him- as if she could see right through his lies as if they were nothing. And the last thing he wanted to destroy- right now- was that unguarded wide-eyed innocence and curiousity she regarded him with.

"I... do not wish to see you come to harm." At least that was truthful enough, he supposed.

She huffed. "I can take care of myself." She paused, the light in her eyes dimming briefly. "You should take this more seriously."

He smirked. "I am still here, am I not?"

She sighed in exasperation. Without waiting for him, she got to her feet, walking off some distance away, her gaze directed towards where Lhant stood.

He took some time to appreciate the momentary peace. Ever since their return from Osprey, Asbel had taken to sending him on excursions alongside Bailey and small contingents of Lhant troops to subdue the nova monsters wherever they could. It allowed him to appreciate the vast expanse of Lhant, and it seemed his actions warmed the people towards him- their stares lacked hostility now; mostly caution and curiousity. And the nova monsters, ever loyal, seemed to fade away from the face of the earth to whatever dark wilderness they could find.

He enjoyed the constant movement, surprisingly enough. No longer running, but simply moving- seeing things with his own eyes, as Sophie had told him once. Yet sometimes, he thought, staring up into the sky above, he longed for moments like this, where he could simply _be_.

The sky was tinted orange, fading into a dark blue up ahead, a deep red colour wrapping around the sun as it descended past the horizon. The breeze felt cool against his skin, and the rhythm of the crashing waves made him feel drowsy, resting on the soft earth. It felt good, he thought, to be alive.

"Lambda."

Blearily, he glanced over to Sophie, who was watching him with a small smile as she gestured for him to come.

Reluctantly, he got back on his feet. It felt oddly wistful- for some reason, he felt drawn to this place, unchanged as it were over the many years. Coming here always felt like a repose for him, as if somehow, being here- in a place where eleth gathered- set his soul at ease. He took in a deep breath as he stood side by side with the girl, feeling a pang of irritation at the fact that she was _still _taller than he was.

"Look," she said, pointing towards the west. Following her direction, he saw the familiar castle walls of Lhant town, and in front of the gates, a congregation of what looked to be soldiers bearing a familiar emblem upon their flags.

"The crest of Windor," he murmured, the realization sinking in as to what that meant.

Sophie chuckled at his expression, and then gently tugged his hand forward, back-pedaling down the trail. "Come on then," she said teasingly. "I want to catch Richard before dinner."

* * *

The town was full of activity when they returned, and the manor, even more so. Maids and servants rushed through and fro in a frantic bustle to complete the final preparations for dinner. It was as if he had to run through a strange gauntlet, weaving in between the panicking people as he followed Sophie through the manor. For her part, the girl seemed to hold no hesitation, rampantly dashing through rooms in her search, expecting Lambda to keep up with her pace.

After nearly knocking down two maids and crashing into a servant, Lambda finally caught up with her in the nursery, where she was talking to a noble sovereign with a toddler in his arms. At his entrance, he saw a pair of green eyes flick over to his direction, and suddenly Lambda felt the corners of his mouth lift.

"Lambda?" Richard paused in mid-sentence to look at him, eyes narrowing slightly in scrutiny. He seemed surprised by his appearance, but it did not stop the king from returning a smile as he entered.

"Richard," Lambda greeted with a small nod. He took a moment to study the king. It had been almost five years since he had last seen him, and while the blonde still seemed to hold himself with the air of nobility, there was a confidence in his movements that had not been so clear before. He was coming into his own, and Lambda found himself slightly relieved- he had never admitted it, but he had always worried that perhaps what he had done to the king- to his first real _friend- _would be too much a trauma for Richard to take.

"I must be quite a sight," the king said, grinning as Alton tugged at his cheeks. It was silly picture, and despite himself, Lambda couldn't help but give a chuckle. It wasn't until much later that he realized Richard's eyes softened at the sound.

"Here, let me." Sophie quickly picked her little brother up, flashing Richard a large smile as she did so. "It's nice of you to pay us a visit, Richard," she said. "You should come more often."

"Oh, if only that was all it was," the blonde muttered with a resigned sigh.

Lambda and Sophie exchanged a glance. The girl frowned slightly at that, but Richard merely shook his head. "It's none of your concern," he said. "I would hardly want to ruin this joyous occassion with dark thoughts."

"It's been far too long," Lambda agreed. The last time the king had come, he had still been a recluse, too afraid to even step outside the boundaries of what he knew was safe, too afraid to change.

"Asbel wrote often," Richard said. "But I had not expected to be so surprised by your growth, Lambda. You look nothing like the boy I knew."

"He's still Lambda," Sophie supplied helpfully. With a wicked look in his direction, she added, "Just as reluctant to admit being happy about anything."

"And you've grown a mean streak," he retorted.

"It must be contagious." She stuck a tongue out at him.

Richard laughed then. "Children, please! Surely Asbel must have taught you to behave in the presence of your sovereign!"

"You'd hate it if we did," Sophie replied swiftly.

"Too true," the king smirked. "Now come. I'm absolutely famished after that long journey and care not for waiting till dinner- show me where the kitchens are."

"Right this way, Your Majesty," Sophie said livelily as she led Richard out of the room, Alton bouncing happily by her side.

As he followed them, Lambda found himself filled with a sense of forboding. Glancing back towards the nursery, he frowned. For the first time in a very, very long time, he had finally found some measure of peace and happiness. Yet, there was the look in Richard's eyes when the king mentioned another motive for coming to Lhant.

A lump welled up in his throat. Somehow, Lambda knew that it involved him. And whatever it was, it would bring to an end the happiness he had worked so hard to attain.

Lambda was rarely wrong, and the few things he had been wrong about- humanity, Asbel, Sophie's acceptance of him- turned out to be good things that he hadn't known at the time, resisting with all his heart. But now, as he trotted down the corridors he so felt at home in, he really hoped for the very first time in his long life that he wasn't right.

* * *

It was after dinner that Asbel came knocking at his room door, Richard in tow, and Lambda felt his heart sink.

"Do you have a moment, Lambda?" the lord asked, his voice and posture serious.

Lambda frowned- gone was the light-hearted mood that had pervaded the entire household at the king's appearance. Now, Asbel was watching him with concern edged with worry, and behind him, the friendly smiles that Richard had worn so easily were gone, replaced by a thin line and a subtle frown.

"Need I be worried about this?" he asked quietly as he stood aside, letting both men in. "I do not believe that I have devoured, murdered, or maimed anyone of late."

"Nothing of the sort," Richard said. "But I bear news that concern you both. Were it up to me, I would have only told Asbel, but..."

"It's about what happened at Osprey," Asbel said quietly, settling down in a nearby chair.

A chill ran down Lambda's spine. For the first time, he found himself wishing that he made it a habit to light the fires in his room. Normally, the evening cold never bothered him, but suddenly, the room felt so devoid of warmth, swallowed by shadows, even though the moonlight streamed in unperturbed through his windows.

"What about Osprey?" he asked quietly, closing the door behind them, trying- and failing- to keep his thoughts light.

"The bandits who attacked and kidnapped you," Richard said, "They were paid off by a noble lord of Windor."

"_What_?" Lambda whirled to face the young king. "Who?" He had known the bandits were hired, of course, but that it was a lord- a noble lord of the same country he was in-

_They wanted to pay a high amount of money for his capture. _For some reason, he felt ill.

"We don't know," Asbel seemed to hesitate before continuing, catching his attention. "We captured some of the bandits back then, and I had them sent to the capital for questioning, but..." The lord shrugged helplessly.

"They were killed before we could get anything else," Richard said with a grimace. "Murdered, probably to keep wagging tongues quiet, with bribes being passed around like free candy. Asbel has far too many enemies of late." Richard sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Harboring you has soured relations between Lhant and many of the other feudal states."

"You're blaming me for this?" Lambda hissed.

"Of course not!" The redhead spoke sharply, his head shooting up to meet his gaze. There was hurt in his eyes, and Lambda bit his tongue.

Of course not, he repeated to himself. Asbel and Richard would never blame him, not even if their lives were in danger. Not even when the entire world could possibly turn against them for doing so. Just like, inevitably, it already was in the process of doing.

"I just think it fair that both of you take precautions," Richard said gently. "Even were we to have a name, we have no evidence except for the testimony of a dead convict, and I cannot easily trust that my status as the king will keep either of you safe."

"Will Lhant...?" Lambda flicked his eyes in between the two men, all too aware of the situation that was unfolding in front of him. _Because _of him.

"No!" Asbel protested quickly- almost too quickly. He coughed, and glanced at his best friend. "That is... Richard?"

"It's still illegal for feudal states to engage in border wars," Richard smirked darkly. "No sane man would try to start war again, not so soon after my father's. It'd be much too costly, and it gives me the right to annex their state and holdings. The nobility are always prone to looking out for their own hides first."

"But it doesn't rule out danger." Asbel's eyes were intensely serious as he watched Lambda. _He knew, _Lambda could tell. Whoever it was that was threatening this peace, Asbel knew his name. But even now, he wanted to protect him by keeping him in the dark. "Whoever wanted to capture you was also paying the bandits to undermine my own authority, and they're not out of the game yet."

"Why?" Lambda snarled. "Why would they want to _capture _me?" To kill him, he could understand. But Lambda knew it was very difficult for him to die lest he so wished it. It was hard to be scared about something that would never happen, but capture... he knew what it was like to be a prisoner. He had been one for a thousand years- first to the Fodrans, then to his circumstances. And now that he was free, the very idea of being captured again was abhorrent to him.

There was an awkward silence then. All too aware that he had perhaps spoken a bit too loud, Lambda noticed the shifting glances in between the two friends, and the hesitation to speak.

"Richard," he said, catching hold of the king's gaze with his own. "Why?"

The king sighed. Reluctantly, he said quietly, "People view you as a weapon. One that gives Lhant the upper hand."

The way he said the words was brutally efficient, and despite himself, Lambda found himself collapsing onto his bed. Somehow, deep inside, he already _knew. _"I am not a weapon," he whispered, trying to block out the oldest of his memories- the ones where he had been experimented on like a _thing _rather than a person. He tried not to recall the words he had yelled at Fodra- the question that he was merely a weapon, and nothing more. "I would fight them before being used like that- I would-" He choked, clenching his fists tightly around his sheets, unable to say more. Despite his bravado, he knew what it was like to be helpless- trapped in a glass tube, trapped in Gern's camp- and he knew he never wanted to feel like that again.

Asbel, thank his naivete, was unaware of any of this, and yet he knew the right thing to say regardless. "We know that." The young lord walked over to him and knelt down, taking hold of both his shoulders. "I promise, Lambda. Nobody's going to hurt you."

"How can you promise such a thing?" Lambda wanted to snap, but the worry in Asbel's eyes stole his words. He sighed, glancing away sharply, trying not to let his feelings show, even as the fear he felt disappeared, replaced by another emotion that he was all too familiar with.

"I'm calling a council of the lords," the king said then. "And I intend to find out whoever's behind this."

"Is that why you came?" Asbel glanced at his best friend. "To make sure I turned up?"

"Partially, yes," Richard smirked slightly. "I thought you'd appreciate the opportunity to defend your case and to prove to the world that one shouldn't mess with the Lord of Lhant."

"I can't say no to that, can I?" the young lord sighed.

Lambda frowned. It seemed far too easy- as if Richard could wave his hands and suddenly all the problems in the world would be gone.

He knew better than to trust such easy solutions.

"Will this actually work?" he asked quietly.

Any hint of the teasing smile disappeared when Asbel spoke next, replaced by a determined glower that Lambda knew all too well. "If anything happens to you, Lambda, I swear, the world would not be big enough to hide the man responsible from my blade."

"Hardly a comfort," Richard remarked. "But likewise, I bear the same sentiment. Do not fret, Lambda. You have good friends."

It should have reassured him, made him feel even slightly better. But deep down, he had always known that other humans would eventually try to capture him, to make use of his power.

He knew that they would try to threaten the life he had finally grown used to, the people he loved... Knew that they would get rid of anything that had finally given him peace. No, that didn't invoke fear- it was anger. And the anger burned like an icy flame in the pit of his stomach, growing with every passing second till he felt numb all over. The familiar emotion swept over him within seconds that it felt almost natural.

"Who was it?" he asked, his voice dangerously low. When there was no response, he glanced up at the two men in the room. "You mentioned names. Who was it that wanted me captured?"

Asbel and Richard exchanged glances. Finally, the king said, "We have only rumours, Lambda, not proof."

"I don't need proof." He stood up, letting his hands fall to his sides. "Just tell me what you heard and I'll-"

"Kill them?" Lambda paused in mid-step at Asbel's quiet voice. The redhead was watching him with a disapproving, stern gaze, and despite himself, he felt his rage falter.

"You do not approve." He met Asbel's gaze with his own.

"Of course not. All we have is evidence from a bandit that tried to capture you and kill me. What if we're wrong?" The young lord drew himself to his full height. "Will you kill an innocent man?"

"You expect me to do nothing?" he yelled incredulously. "You expect me to simply watch as these fools attempt to capture me, thereby placing everyone I care for in danger?"

"I expect you to trust us." Any other man would have been at a loss for words or long ago fled, but Asbel simply smiled at him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"This is a mistake, Asbel Lhant," Lambda snarled, all too aware of how tight Asbel's grip was.

"Maybe." Asbel's smile was as wide as always, but there was a tightness in it. "Maybe not. Whatever the case, Lambda- this _isn't _your burden to bear alone. Promise me you won't go after anyone."

"I cannot." He shook the other's hand off then, all too aware of how disappointed Asbel looked as he took a step back, all too aware how his rage had flickered away and was replaced by an irritating sense of remorse. With a sigh, Lambda knew that he had lost. It went against everything he wanted to do- everything he believed- but he knew Asbel was, at some level, right. With a shake of his head, he continued, "I will promise not to interfere with your attempts at bringing the culprit to justice, as long as you promise that you will find the man responsible, lest I take this matter into my own hands."

Richard sighed in relief then. With a chuckle, Asbel said, "We can do that."

"Then I believe this conversation is over." He turned away then, trying not to meet their gazes. He knew this was a mistake- _knew _it, yet... how could he _not _trust the two men he considered his closest friends?

They simply wanted to help him, but he wasn't sure this was a matter they could help with. And he hated himself for even agreeing to this.

He waited, listening for the footsteps that signalled that Richard was out of his room, and waited for Asbel's to follow.

"_Nothing _will happen, Lambda," Asbel said, as the young lord lingered on the threshold of the room. "You'll see."

He nodded then, knowing that his friend needed some sort of reassurance that he wasn't about to slip off into the night on some lone crusade. "Thank you, Asbel."

The door clicked shut behind him, and Lambda tried to put the warning out of his mind. Tomorrow he was travelling with Bailey and Sophie to a nearby village that had reported sightings of nova beasts, and had requested his aid. He had a life to live, something to do, places to go.

But as the night grew longer, he found himself unable to sleep, curled up in his bed and staring at the ceiling and being all too aware of how empty the entire room seemed. Even lighting a fire didn't seem to dispell the cold anger that had sunk into the very fibre of his being. All of it reminded him of Fodra- how thick the air had been, how utterly desolate the landscape was.

And for the first time in a long time, he felt so very alone.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

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Four months after Osprey, the trepidation and constant wariness seemed to prove itself to be uneccessary when nothing happened. The days and weeks continued to roll by as they always had in Lhant, lazy and peaceful and filled with lots of cows. After a while, Lambda started to wonder whether he had unintentionally got worked up for nothing- perhaps Richard's plan would work after all, or perhaps his pursuers had decided it was too much of a risk to capture him. It wasn't easy letting go of his worries, but gradually he found himself sliding back into a normal pace of things.

It was mid-summer when the annual anniversary meet-up rolled around. Ever since the end of the world had more or less been stopped almost nine years ago, the party had been caught up with their individual lives- everyone had their own duties, and most of the time, contact was kept through sporadic messages and occasional visits. Despite all that, the group of mismatched heroes had resolutely agreed that they would meet up at least once a year, every year, and for almost a decade, they had kept true to their word.

Lambda had sometimes been dragged along for these excursions once he woke up. It wasn't as though he _hated _these gatherings- these were the people that he considered his friends, after all. But every single time- through the Barona streets, or Fendel's alleyways- that damned Amarcian woman would spend hours chasing and examining him with a gleeful smile, with nobody willing to stop her for some unfathomable reason. But apart for that minor hiccup, he did enjoy the ability to relax (somewhat) in the company of his friends.

On the ninth anniversary, it was decided that the party would meet up in Yu Liberte, Hubert's hometown. Lambda had been to Strahta once or twice before during the time he sat in Asbel's mind, but the memories were hazy and sporadic, at best. Now, he was not exactly looking forward to returning to Strahta- if only because the other Lhant brother had decided to marry a certain half-crazed scientist that seemed all too interested in poking and prodding him whenever she so much as glimpsed him.

Still, Asbel had been even more adamant in dragging him along this year, and despite his protests, he found himself bundled up next to a pile of bags on a caravan and sentenced to stay put until they reached Strahta. He would never admit it, but he was secretly glad at the opportunity to travel to Strahta- the land of Duplemar often intrigued him, and he never had the chance to visit it, unlike Fendel or Windor.

Normally the journey would have bored him since, for some reason or another, the air ship had been out of service for years. It made the sentience slightly thankful for the company of young Alton. Now at age three, the young boy was always filled with curiousity and now armed with the ability to talk, limited as it was. Lambda always found some measure of amusement at the way the child seemed to regard everything with astonishment and innocence.

Still, after a long journey, Lambda was all about ready to die after listening to the child ramble on and on for days.

He soon found himself outside the small manor that made up the Ozwell residence. Hubert had moved out of his adopted father's home soon after the journey's end, and had set himself up in a small corner of the noble quarter of Yu Liberte. It wasn't as big as the Lhant manor that Lambda had grown used to, but the swirling Strahtan architecture and the various devices that jutted out of every window looked a far more interesting sight. Most of the other houses around him were made with the usual Strahtan embellishments, but they seemed to lack character as compared to the house that stood before him.

Hubert was there to greet them when they arrived. Dressed neatly and promptly, Lambda recognized him immediately even though he hadn't seen the man in years. No longer the wiry younger brother that jumped at every percieved slight, Hubert seemed actually relaxed, even offering a smile to the family as they approached.

"You certainly took your time," he said after exchanging a hug with Asbel. "Even Malik's here before you."

"Sandstorms," Asbel simply shrugged as a reply. "It'd be a relief once Pascal gets the ship fixed up."

"She's been pre-occupied," Hubert snorted, his eyes shifting over to the rest of the family, holding Lambda's gaze briefly. "Your fault, I might add. Anyway, come in- though, fair warning. I fear what diabolical plan the Captain and Richard may have cooked up in my absence."

"You left them alone?" his brother asked incredulously, a flicker of fear passing through his eyes as he instinctively rested one hand on his sword.

"Pascal was busy!" Hubert protested.

Asbel merely shot the younger brother a dirty look before kicking in the door.

Thankfully, it seemed that good fortune smiled that day, for it seemed Richard and Malik had merely been engaged in light banter, and had not hatched any devious plots to exploit Asbel's weaknesses and get him to do silly dances in front of all of Lhant or some such.

It was a small gathering, a fact that Lambda appreciated, and with one member conspicuously absent. Not that he minded too much- Pascal was the only one that overtly seemed to seek him out, usually armed with some contraption or sharp-edged tool in her hands that he certainly did not want pointing in his direction.

Thus, it surprised him when the only member of the group he wasn't particularly close to- Malik, Asbel's teacher- suddenly started talked to him. He hadn't seen the Knight Captain all that much, what with the older man being heavily involved in Fendelian politics and the re-establishment of his country's social system. The few times he had met him, Lambda had always treated him with some measure of respect- this was the man that had partially raised Asbel, after all.

"I heard you're helping Windor out now," the older man said, watching him with a mild smile and a glass of wine in hand. Despite his outward appearance of a friendly approach, his dark eyes were bearing down on him like a hawk would eye a deer. Lambda couldn't help but feel a murderous intent in his direction.

"I am," the sentience responded, unsure what else he could say.

"And you've adjusted quite well to Lhant, haven't you?" Whatever game the Captain was playing, Lambda was pretty sure that it wasn't the same as the ones he pulled on the Lhant brothers. There was the hint of danger in the older man's eye, as if any wrong response would send a boomerang buried in his side before he could blink.

"Is this an interrogation, Captain Malik?" he retorted, schooling his features to match Malik's own.

"It depends." The other man sighed. Finally, he crouched down till he was at Lambda's eye level. "You've done well for yourself. So much so that it seems that you've turned over a new leaf."

"But you do not agree?"

"I didn't say that." Malik's eyes were filled with warning as he met his gaze. But he hardly seemed intimidated by the cold smile that Lambda wore, and his eyes- they held a worry that seemed akin to Fodra's that Lambda knew that he meant no harm.

With a soft sigh, Lambda let his guard drop. "Then what did you mean to say?"

Malik hesitated for a moment. Then, "Be careful." The older man intonated each word slowly, as if they were of utmost importance. "What you have now- be careful not to lose it."

"Why would I?" Lambda asked with a frown.

The older man gave a short chuckle. "Ah, the innocence of youth." Lambda followed his gaze, towards where Sophie and Alton were playing with Richard. The Captain clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Sometimes you get so caught up in things that you forget what's really important until it's gone. Just remember that."

"I will."

"I doubt it." The older man flashed him a regretful smile, then stretched his arms. "Well, nice talk. I wonder if Hubert has any vintage wines lying about here. Do you drink?"

Lambda shook his head.

"Oh well, more for me," Malik declared, before walking off as though he hadn't left a very confused sentience in his wake.

Unfortunately, he didn't have much time to gather his thoughts when a familiar, dreaded voice cooed in his ear, "Helloooo Lambda!"

* * *

It took him hours before he was finally free of getting attacked and chased around the house by the crazed Amarcian, having lost her in a corridor by slipping into a dark fog and escaping through a window. He hadn't stopped running down the streets of Yu Liberte until he was sure he couldn't hear Pascal's voice or footsteps any longer.

Of course, by that time, Lambda realized he was hopelessly lost.

Yu Liberte was big- far grander than Lhant, and far stranger than Barona. He found himself in the midst of some square he hadn't seen before, and while he wasn't exactly afraid of getting killed or mugged or anything of that sort, he did find it a tad bit embarrassing that a creature of his caliber could get _lost. _In times long past, he hadn't really cared about where he went or where he had been- getting lost used to be a boon, rather than an annoyance- but now, he found himself irritated that he hadn't had the presence of mind to even look where he had been going.

He slipped into his old habits way too easily, he found.

At first, he had tried tracking the eleth around him, trying to sense where his friends were. Yet, the city was so huge and vast, and the people so many that it was hard for him to single out any particular eleth signature that he recognized. Briefly, he wondered if, had he been stronger, he would be able to sense anything through the cloud of eleth that surrounded him. Unfortunately, as it was, it felt as though he was peering through a hazy looking glass.

And so he took to wandering the streets of Yu Liberte, taking in the architecture and wondering how many times he had passed through these same streets centuries ago, without noticing its grandeur or beauty. He didn't feel the need to stop to ask for directions- after all, as long as he wandered around, he'd eventually find his way back to Hubert's home. The benefits of not getting tired or hungry, he'd say, secretly squashing the flicker of embarrassment he'd feel if _he-_ Lambda, the terror of Ephinea- had to stop to ask for directions because he was _lost_. That sort of thing just didn't happen.

He had wandered past a particularly convoluted water fountain when he suddenly heard someone call his name. Turning to see who had spoken, he spotted a pudgy looking nobleman standing some distance away, a couple of guards standing at either side. To his surprise, Lambda realized he recognized the man, having briefly seen him in Osprey.

It was Lord Olbrick of Brind.

He was cautious as the man approached, wondering what it was that someone who disliked Lhant so much was doing, talking to him. He knew that the lord had been at Osprey, and that Asbel had spent some time appeasing him for some slight or another, but apart from that, Olbrick was an unknown to him. Experience told him not to let his guard down.

"Lambda," Olbrick greeted him with a pleasant enough smile.

"Olbrick," he returned. The guards at Olbrick's side seemed to bristle when he didn't bow- but Lambda merely arched an eyebrow and they soon fell back behind the noble. Cautiously, he continued, "What business brings you here to Strahta?"

Olbrick's smile was relaxed, but the cold, calculating look in his eyes never wavered. "I'm funding an archaeological expedition based from the University of Strahta. In fact, I believe the subject may be of some interest to you."

"Oh?"

"The men I'm funding believe to have stumbled across _your _spaceship," Olbrick said amicably, as if he were simply discussing the weather or some trivial nonsense. "Tell me, where are you headed?"

"Home," Lambda replied curtly, turning on his heel to take his leave. Even though he wanted nothing more to do with Windor nobility, his curiosity was piqued- he had thought that the crash had completely destroyed the spaceship. Even now, he could recall the heavy gray smoke rising through the stormy sky. That there were even ruins a millennia after the fact was incredulous indeed, but it was of little consequence to him- it was merely a spaceship that had been commandeered to steer him to safety, nothing more.

Unbidden, the memory of being trapped in the confines of the metallic shuttle as it flew haphazardly without a pilot towards Ephinea, crouched in a corner holding Cornell's dead body flashed through his mind. He forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat, tried to forget the coldness of space and the sound of his own unnatural cries; the feeling of Cornell's lab coat in his hands. This was ridiculous, he thought- he was in Yu Liberte, with sand in his hair and the sun on his skin, and yet the memories of a different age and time seemed so clear in his mind's eye.

"That's the wrong way back towards the noble quarter, is it not?" Olbrick called, trotting to catch up with him.

Lambda paused and cast the nobleman a warning glare. "Does it matter?"

"If you're lost, I could escort you back to your domicile," the noble said without missing a beat. "Besides, I haven't heard your thoughts on the expedition."

"I have none."

"Ah, but surely you must be interested in knowing that they've discovered your creator's journals?"

That got his attention. It wasn't a large leap of logic for him to realize what Olbrick probably meant- and the thought that they had found something of Cornell's in that spaceship, something that he had missed...

"That's nonsense," he forced himself to say. He should have walked away, he knew, but somehow, his feet became rooted to the spot, and soon Lord Brind was at his side again.

"Some of the scientists are of the upper echelon of the Strahtan government," Olbrick was saying as he walked, Lambda forced to trot at his side. "When Hubert Ozwell submitted his report on what happened nine years ago, he mentioned the location of your space craft. They've spent years searching for it, and I've funded them every step of the way. They've only begun studying the data, but-"

"Get to the point," Lambda snarled, feeling his patience wearing thin. "Why should I care about some old research journals?"

Olbrick's eyes seemed to waver for a moment. But the lord cleared his throat and seemed as unruffled as ever when he spoke. "Based off what we know from Lieutenant Ozwell's reports, a researcher named Cornell aided in your escape from Fodra, is that not right?"

Lambda stayed silent, and the noble seemed to take that as assent.

"There was data on that ship that the researchers believed he took with him from Fodra," Olbrick said. It made sense- Lambda had no idea how to operate Fodran machinery; if the journals had been stored in the machines, he wouldn't have known about them, but theoretically, if the Amarcians were any good as they once were, the knowledge to extract data from Fodran crafts might have made its way into the hands of Strahtan researchers. Reluctantly, he accepted that perhaps what the noble was saying could potentially be true.

"And what business is this of mine? Cornell is dead."

"They believe that most of the research pertains to you," the lord replied. "More importantly, they believe that the research may describe a way to control you."

If Lambda needed to breathe, he would have found himself incapable of drawing breath. A sharp jolt ran through his body, as if he had been struck by lightning. He stumbled before he could catch himself, and he realized that Olbrick was watching him carefully, judging his reaction.

He kept his face calm- despite how friendly the lord seemed to him, he was still a lord that disliked Asbel, and the more that Lambda thought about it, the more he was certain Olbrick had some ulterior motive for talking to him about this. If this was a threat, it wasn't a very well concealed one. And he wasn't all too sure whether he could call Olbrick's bluff on this.

"Nobody will control me," he said darkly. "Not now, not ever."

"Yes, I thought you'd feel that way," the noble lord said with a smile. "I thought you'd like that information kept secreted away."

"I'd rather watch it burn."

Olbrick laughed, seemingly unconcerned by his reaction. "That could be done."

Lambda narrowed his eyes suspiciously, turning his full attention onto the lord. "You seem blasé about this."

"Why shouldn't I be?" It was now that Lambda had a clear view of Olbrick's eyes- dark and piercing, watching him with a smug confidence that sparked a flicker of anger in the sentience.

"What's the catch?" Lambda demanded.

"I'm not blackmailing you," Olbrick gasped, eyes wide in feigned shock. "I'm merely proposing a deal."

"Cornell's research in exchange for...?"

"You leaving Lhant," the lord of Brind responded without hesitation. "And coming to Brind."

Rage which had been flickering in the dim corners of his heart suddenly rushed forth, and before he knew what he was doing, a dark orb of eleth had gathered in the palm of his hand, outstretched in Olbrick's direction. It wasn't until he realized there were four speartips pointed in his direction that some awareness of what he had been about to do settled in.

"Careful," Olbrick said smoothly with a smirk. "The last thing you want is for the ward of Lhant to attack another noble lord, wouldn't you say?"

"I am no mere human to be trifled with, mortal," Lambda snarled, surprised that the man wasn't the slightest bit intimidated by his display of power.

"No, you're Lhant's dog," Olbrick retorted. "And you wouldn't do anything to hurt _him_."

Lambda glared at Olbrick. He knew the older man was right- any assault on the lord would mean retribution towards all of Lhant by the rest of Windor. There would be diplomatic fallout, and if things went badly, Asbel might have to relinquish his lordship, if his enemies demanded it. Richard would be honour-bound to let justice be done, and it would be _his _fault.

But the thought that something that could control him could be out there- that it was something _Cornell _had in his journals- made him want to throw reason to a corner. It couldn't be true, he wanted to scream- Cornell was the last person who would ever betray him. But if it was true, who was to say that such knowledge couldn't be used against him? Yet, he had promised Asbel and Richard, and he remembered what Malik had told him but a few hours before.

No matter how dangerous this threat was, no matter how much he hated the way Olbrick looked at him, this wasn't worth losing everything he loved over.

"I am not Asbel's _dog_," Lambda spat, letting his arm drop to his side as the energy dissipated all around him.

Olbrick arched an eyebrow. With a smirk, the older man said, "The offer still stands, Lambda."

"I decline."

"For now." Olbrick shrugged his shoulders as if it were a matter of no importance. "I'll keep you updated on the archaeologists' progress. Ah, look. It seems your sitter has arrived."

Lambda glanced- and at the sight of Sophie trotting towards them, he felt a strange sense of relief. He didn't know why, but he knew he had to get away from Olbrick right now, before his self-restraint snapped.

"Lady Sophie," Olbrick greeted her with a flourishing bow. It felt odd to hear him call Sophie that, Lambda thought. He certainly hadn't addressed Lambda as if he had any status, and Sophie- violent Sophie, silly Sophie, gentle Sophie who sat with her knees scraped from all the gardening she did- certainly wasn't any lady. It irked him.

Sophie eyed Olbrick cautiously. "Olbrick," she greeted simply before her eyes flicked over to Lambda, completely unaware that she probably broke a dozen rules of etiquette. The guards behind the noble lord seemed twitchy at the fact, but a single glance from Lambda had them silent. He took some pride in the fact that she gave Olbrick less than a second of her attention.

Instead, she turned on him, her purple eyes filled with consternation. "Where were you?"

Before Lambda could respond, Olbrick spoke. "The poor lad was lost," the noble said, dabbing his face with a kerchief. "I merely showed him the way back to his fold."

"'Merely'," Lambda echoed, glaring angrily at the noble lord.

"Lambda?" Sophie peered at him worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

Something stopped him then. Maybe it was the way she was looking at him, or it was the way that Olbrick was regarding him with a smug certainty. Whatever the case, he said curtly, "Nothing."

"Simply an act of a good samaritan," Olbrick sighed exaggeratedly. With a final flourish, he bowed low. "A fine day to you, dear girl, Lambda. Send my regards to Lord Lhant."

"I will," Sophie replied shortly.

Together, they stood in the middle of the streets of Yu Liberte, watching as Olbrick and his retinue disappeared down the winding, fanciful avenues. It was a while later when Sophie spoke.

"What did he say?"

Lambda felt a flicker of surprise. "Nothing," he repeated.

"It wasn't nothing." She faced him then, her violet gaze calm. "You're... angry."

He found himself caught. All too often, he wondered how exactly she could read him so easily- was it simply because of their long acquaintance, or was it because he wasn't as capable of hiding his emotions as he had thought? Yet, he couldn't tell her that the other lord had wanted him to leave Lhant and join him; that there were research notes by the one person he had always trusted despite everything that could possibly control him; couldn't tell her that Asbel and Richard were afraid that there were people after him and that they were right and someone would willingly pay Olbrick a large sum of money for that information that the man was dangling in front of him-

"It was nothing," he echoed, sighing deeply.

"Lambda."

Her voice was stern as she placed her hands on his shoulders, turning him to face her. But it was the way she was looking at him that stopped his denials- it was the same face she wore back in the flower meadow what felt like an age ago, when she had figured out that something was wrong with him. She wanted him to trust her, and she was hurt that he wasn't willing to do so.

It felt odd how they kept doing this odd tango, Lambda thought with a painful smile. He had to tell her something, then- not the political clashes, perhaps, but maybe the one that hurt him the most. The one that had cut deeply into what he had thought infallible.

"Cornell," he said at last. "They found our spaceship. His notes were there."

Sophie stayed silent, but he could feel her patient curiosity. Gently, she guided him to a nearby bench and waited for him to be seated, waiting for him to continue.

"They say- _Olbrick_ said- that there were... notes that described the possibility of... _controlling _me."

She frowned then. "It's not true," she said softly. "If the Fodrans had that technology, they would never have needed to create me-"

"But if Cornell stole that research and took it with him-" Lambda rubbed his hands against his forehead. "If what Olbrick says is true- if Cornell had intended to survive, with that research- truly, what had he intended to do with me?"

"He wanted to protect you," Sophie said softly, pulling his hands away from his eyes. "You can't really believe something like this, can you?"

"Power can corrupt good men," Lambda muttered bitterly. "I know that first-hand. Before we left Fodra, Emeraude always suspected that Cornell had wanted to turn me into a Lastalia that humanity could control, one that would make their life easier with an endless supply of eleth. What if- what if she was right?"

_What if, all along, I was just a tool to be used?_

"You don't know that." The purple-haired girl frowned. "It's in the past, now."

"But if that research exists-"

"It doesn't." She spoke vehemently. "Cornell gave his life to save yours. You've never doubted him before." Her eyes softened. "Why start now?"

Why, indeed. Perhaps it was the fear that, like Fodra, Cornell- the man who raised him, who taught him how to be human, who was his _father_, for lack of a better word- had other reasons for protecting him- reasons which he couldn't reconcile himself with. Lambda sighed. "The reasons for what Cornell did what he did remain a mystery, even to me. Why did he even raise me? Why did he give up everything he had to save me? Why was I so important to him?"

"Because he loved you."

"Did he really? Or was he like all the other men who merely see me as a pawn?"

"Asbel doesn't-"

"No, he doesn't. But he's a fool." Lambda groaned, taking in a deep breath as he leaned against the bench.

"A good fool," Sophie agreed softly. "Like Cornell was."

Lambda chose not to answer. They sat there for a time longer in silence before Sophie finally stood.

"They sent me out to fetch you," she said at last. "It's done."

"What's done?" Lambda frowned.

She flashed him a small smile. "Come on. You'll see."

* * *

'It' stunned him.

"Ta-dah!" Pascal declared joyously as she threw the cloth off her latest invention, revealing what Lambda swore had to be a mirror image. It felt surreal to stand there in the middle of the Ozwells' house, surrounded by his friends, staring at the face he had always known he had worn, but never expected to see.

"That's-" he choked, glancing at Asbel.

The lord chuckled at his accusatory gaze, leaning comfortably against a nearby pillar. "You said you didn't want me to help, not that I couldn't."

"We've been working on this for years!" the Amarcian declared excitedly. "Ever since Asbel sent me a letter saying you were hanging around his manor seeping eleth by the gallon, I knew I _had _to build this!"

"So all that time you spent-"

"Chasing you, measuring you, checking out how your eleth functions, taking apart old dolls from Telos Astue," Pascal rattled on, ticking off her fingers as she went, "I mean, sure I totaled the ship when we came back from Fodra, and it's nowhere as cool as Asbel MK II, but you can't have everything!"

"It's fine." The surface of the doll felt cold to his touch, but it also felt familiar. While it looked a lot less refined than the humanoids from his memories of Fodra, he could imagine Pascal working at her workshop for years on end, perfecting every inch of the mechanics with painstaking care and caution. It almost made him feel guilty for calling her crazy. Almost.

"It better be fine," Hubert grumbled. "She brought out the drills last month."

"You helped too," Pascal shot back. "Designed most of the outer shell," she explained with a beaming smile. "Two inch thick eleth-resistant alloy plating, capable of taking combat damage, and waterproof!"

"Impressive, considering how little they see you, don't you think, Lambda?" Richard asked.

And it was impressive. He found himself awestruck, unable to speak. If only there were enough words for him to express his gratitude- but no matter what he thought of, nothing felt right.

"Cheria said you wanted to be taller too, so I tweaked the height a bit," Pascal continued rambling. "Just finished up the last touches a few hours ago."

He was really failing at the whole 'hiding his thoughts' when it came to the Lhant women, Lambda thought as he found Cheria's cheerful, innocent smile. He didn't mind- the doll looked to be just about a few inches taller, perhaps all that he needed to finally surpass Sophie.

"Go on, then," Malik said. "Let's see if it actually works."

"Of _course _it works!" Pascal gasped in horror, but Lambda paid her no heed even as the crazed Amarcian started yelling at the Captain.

Hesitantly, he dissolved his hand first, letting his eleth seep into the machine's empty shell. It felt strange, but yet there was a tingle of familiarity. Closing his eyes, he willed himself into the doll, letting his eleth fall into place within the mechanics that he vaguely recognized from his old memories.

When he opened them again, he found himself staring at a crowd of anxious eyes peering at him. Slowly, awkwardly, he lifted his arm, watching the way the light seemed to shine on the metallic surface of his arm.

"It feels... normal," he murmured in awe. It wasn't anything at all like when he rode in someone else's mind, or the old dolls that had been his prison. Somehow, the Amarcian had managed to design a machine that felt as real as if he was standing out in the open, by himself. "No," he breathed, feeling his mouth moved in sync with his thoughts. "It's amazing."

Pascal let out an exuberant cheer, tackling Cheria and Asbel in one fell swoop, sending all three flying to the ground. It took Richard and Sophie to calm the crazed scientist and get her to chase someone else for a while as everything else settled down.

With a sigh, Hubert glanced over at Lambda. "Pardon her behaviour. She wouldn't sleep until she had this just right," he told the sentience. "Hasn't slept in days when we heard you were coming."

"None of you did, it seems," he returned with a smirk.

The younger Lhant brother shrugged. "Call it repayment for what you did on Fodra. Asbel and King Richard seem to have this idea that you shouldn't simply go quietly into the night and return to a deep sleep once your eleth dissipates."

"And you?"

Hubert adjusted his glasses, looking away. "It may seem like nothing, but your presence in Lhant seems to have helped my family."

"Just as much as it harms it?"

The blue-haired man seemed thoughtful for a moment. "I've never seen Alton or Sophie as happy as when they're with you. And my brother, dense as he is, seems to have matured far better watching out for your well-being than he would elsewise. Everyone's heard about what he did to protect you in Osprey by now."

"You're cautious with your praises."

"As are you." Hubert smirked. "But take heed, Lambda. That body means that you're here to stay this time."

Lambda inclined his head, trying his best to keep his face serious and not break into a wide smile. "I'll make note of that."

The rest of the evening passed in a fleeting bliss- dinner was fresh Strahtan food from the market, prepared by Cheria, and filled with a constant, friendly chatter. Pascal spent her time still chasing after him- to ensure that everything was in order, she insisted- but Lambda still found time to explain to Alton why his body felt different now, and to get lost in the midst of the friendliness that pervaded the atmosphere.

He waited until everyone was soundly asleep before he slipped out of the house.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

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**.**

He had expected that his disappearance would have been noticed eventually, but he had not expected to find Sophie out by the front door, arms crossed and leaning against the wall as if she had been merely waiting for him to sneak out of the estate. He had been so certain that everyone had been asleep, it didn't occur to him that someone else could have slipped out of the house as well.

"What are you even doing out here?" he growled in frustration as she trotted behind him, arms cradling her head. Yu Liberte was dimly lit at night, a fact that he appreciated as they traversed through the winding streets once more, though it did little to stop his pursuer.

"I was watching the stars," she said simply. Catching his gaze, she huffed, "I'm not _stalking _you all the time."

"Then go back."

"No."

"Must you be so insufferable?"

"Do you even know where you're going?" she asked cheerfully.

He paused. In the midst of his panic and fear and worry, it had never actually occured to him to stop and think about what he had intended to do- or how to do so. He had wanted to find the journals and burn them before anyone could make use of the information within them, but the only person he knew that even had a slightest connection to these journals would be...

"Olbrick Brind," he said sharply.

Her footsteps stopped abruptly. With a frown, he turned, only to find her usually serene face marred by a scowl. That was strange- he hadn't mentioned to her a thing about Olbrick's offer, nor the threat that his presence brought to Lhant. Yet, it seemed that she knew, somehow, that anything involving the Lord of Brind would inevitably lead to a bad end.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"His was the expedition that found those journals," Lambda explained. "If he has them, I need to destroy them."

"You believe he was telling the truth?" Sophie asked.

"Dare I take the risk that he was not?" he retorted, looking her straight in the eye.

Her gaze softened, and her entire posture seemed to sag a bit under some invisible weight, her hands dropping to her sides. Lambda nodded, relieved that she understood the depth of their situation.

"I don't want-" she began, her eyes shifting away from his face. She seemed to struggle with the words for a while before she finally let out a low sigh. "We aren't _enemies _any more."

"We aren't," he agreed, stepping close to her. He rested a hand on her shoulder. "And I'd like to keep it that way."

She made no response. For a moment, Lambda wondered what thoughts were going through her mind now- she looked pensive, staring at the flowing water around them, biting her lip. Yet she didn't pull away from him, so he simply stood there, waiting.

Finally, she said, "Olbrick's keeping the journals?"

Lambda smiled coldly. "Where else would you keep something of utmost value like that?"

"A vault," she deadpanned, before sighing. "But if this was truly important to him, he wouldn't let it out of his sight. You're probably right."

"Where are you going?" he asked as she turned on her heel, walking back the way they came.

"To Olbrick's Strahtan Estate," she called back. She flashed him a grin from over her shoulder. "You should find a map of Yu Liberte one day. You'd be hopelessly lost without me."

"And how would you know?" he grumbled as he caught up to her, hands in the pockets of his flowing, white robe.

"Hubert made me memorize a map of the city when I first came here," she responded calmly.

"Of course."

He fell into step easily by her side. Even though he wouldn't admit it, the sentience _was _grateful for her presence- whether it had been intentional or not. She always seemed to be watching his back, which amazed him all the more considering their history. The fact that she had willingly agreed to go along with him, no questions asked, made him feel a tinge bit overprotective, and inwardly, he swore that he would watch her back just as much as she did his.

"Here." She led him towards a villa at the end of a large, paved street. Flowers and vines wrapped themselves around pillars and balconies of marble, waving in the gentle moonlight. It was a large house by anyone's standard, and something about it felt un-Strahtan like, declaring that whoever owned this estate was rich- and foreign.

Guards stood at the entrance of the estate, which hardly took Lambda by surprise. Although Asbel was the exception, he realized most nobles seemed to live under the constant protection from their bodyguards, not even wandering out in the streets without a guard at hand. And Olbrick, paranoid even by noble standards- so much so that he could believe Lhant was out to attack him- would obviously employ a whole contigent of guards just for the front door.

"We're not fighting them," Sophie told him.

He nodded. Both of them knew that it wasn't fear that held them back. Bad enough that he was sneaking into another man's home; the last thing they needed was to take out fully armed guards and possibly risk identification. He scanned the surroundings for an alternative.

"There," he said, pointing towards an unguarded balcony facing the east on the second floor of the estate. Like most Strahtan homes, the estate was surrounded by a wall, which would have been an obstacle for a normal man- of which neither word applied to them.

They skirted around the perimeter, waiting until the guards had turned before they moved. In a single leap, Sophie scaled the entire height of the wall, landing nearly silently and perfectly balanced on the very top of the ledge. With a backflip, she touchdowned on the balcony, with nobody the wiser. Lambda didn't bother with such showy acrobatics- he simply willed himself to hover over the barricade, using only as little eleth as neccessary.

"Will there be guards?" Sophie asked him as they approached the door.

Lambda shrugged. "The cautious approach would have me leave my body here while I search." He smirked as he saw the exasperation on her face. "I doubt such an idea appeals to you."

"You brought me along this far," she pointed out.

"I was under the impression that you were leading," he retorted as he knelt down by the door. It would have been child's play to simply dismantle the lock with eleth, but his reserves were low enough to begin with. Thankfully, he came prepared.

"You can pick locks?" Sophie asked incredulously as she watched him pull out two thin strips of metal from the folds of his robe.

"I have wandered the world for a millenia," Lambda responded as he worked. "As you know, most of my hosts were of the unsavory sort- most of whose their memories I have glimpsed and skills I have gained."

The lock clicked, and with a gentle nudge, the door swung open. Sophie gave him an appreciative look before stepping into the shadowy hallway, her footsteps light on the marble floor. He took notice that she lifted her arms slightly, ever-prepared for a sudden encounter.

"Where would Olbrick keep the journals?" Sophie asked as they progressed inwards, keeping her voice low so that she would not attract attention.

"I doubt he'd leave them simply lying about," Lambda muttered back.

Sophie nodded. "His room, then."

She moved swiftly down the hallway before he could even ask whether she knew where she was going. With an exasperated sigh, and a muttered prayer that he hoped Sophie knew what she was doing, he took off after her. He caught up with her where she stopped, in front of a set of particularly grand doors at the end of a corridor, where she was watching him expectantly.

"Are you certain?" he asked as he pull out his lockpicking tools once more.

She shrugged. "We could try every door until we find it," she supplied helpfully.

He shot her a glare. She smiled in return.

"You're enjoying this."

"Guilty," she replied with a helpless shrug.

The door snapped open as he finished, and with mild surprise, Lambda realized that they really had found the master bedroom. Sophie's smile widened at his expression. With a sigh, he held a finger to his lips as he crossed the threshold, deciding it wasn't worth it to question the girl's luck.

Lambda found it stiffling. The room was furnished with highly decorative pieces, and most of the furniture seemed to be made out of high quality wood and marble, judging from their eleth. It was unnaturally clean for the Strahtan environment, and he briefly wondered just how many servants did Olbrick employ to ensure that the marble under his feet sparkled so brilliantly in the moonlight.

But what caught his attention was the fact that the bed was empty, and untouched. A cursory eleth scan told him that nobody else was in the room.

"Maybe he's dealing with paperwork," Sophie suggested.

"He isn't Asbel," Lambda replied. He glanced around at the room- he hadn't quite thought through his plan entirely, and he had no idea how quickly someone would discover them. "Stand guard, Sophie."

She nodded and complied easily, turning back towards the door. He didn't waste any time- closing his eyes, he concentrated on the flow of eleth around him, the vague traces that emanated from every object within the room. If there was anything from the ruins of Fodra, the trace eleth would be different from the eleth of everything else in the room. He just had to find it.

Yet, after five minutes of searching, he could tell that Olbrick imported wood from the far reaches of Mt Zavhert, but had not yet found even a single wisp of Fodran eleth at all.

"Lambda-" Sophie said suddenly, but he ignored her, trying to focus.

He _had _to be sure. If Olbrick was bluffing, then this would have been a relief- but if he was wrong, and that data existed... Just another scan-

"Lambda!" He felt a hand on his shoulder whirl him around, and he looked up, straight into Sophie's narrowed eyes. "We have to go!"

He could scarcely think of a response when a shadow blocked out the light streaming from the door.

"Well, I certainly didn't expect a late night visit," Lord Olbrick drawled, completely relaxed. He arched an eyebrow at them. "Couldn't you use the front door?"

The fear of being discovered faded quickly, and Lambda stepped forward, shaking off Sophie's restraining hand. "You don't have them."

"Them?" Olbrick echoed.

"Cornell's journals." The words felt hard to say, with a twinge of disappointment. It felt strange- he had always wanted something to remember Cornell by, and even though they could threaten his existence, there had been a small hope that he could not acknowledge; that he'd finally hold something that his caretaker had once held.

"Of course not," the pudgy man said. "Why would I keep such precious resources here when they haven't been fully translated, especially since you've proven how easy it is for someone to break into my own room?" He smirked as a chill crept down Lambda's spine. "They're not here, obviously. Safely stored away, under lock and key. Did you really think they didn't exist? That I was lying about what they contained?"

"You're bluffing," Sophie spoke up. "When we found the spaceship nine years ago, Pascal never found a hint of any information that could control Lambda."

"And how long did she peruse the contents?" Olbrick yawned. "My people are the elite of the Strahtan Academy, and they have been researching on this for three years. She only had but a few hours- days, at best. Didn't you have a world to save at that time?" His eyes flicked over pointedly at Lambda.

A jolt of anger shot through Lambda's body. "How dare you-" he began.

"How dare I what?" Olbrick asked sharply, puffing his cheeks up. "How dare I make use of the knowledge that has been presented to me? Someone you should know about taking opportunities when they arise."

Lambda fell silent at that. He had thought that acknowledging his growth would have been enough to take a step forward, to finally put everything behind him. Yet he could still remember his desperation to survive, how there was a point in time where he would have done anything- anything, at any cost- in order to achieve his goals, seized any opportunity that presented itself.

"That never got me anywhere," he growled at last.

"I wouldn't say that," Olbrick murmured thoughtfully, his beady eyes locked onto the sentience's own. "You're the ward of Lhant, best friend of the King, and you've even managed to avoid imprisonment or capture despite everything you've done. It was quite an opportunity, wasn't it, Lambda?"

At that moment, Lambda wanted nothing more than to blast Olbrick off the face of the earth. Unbidden, eleth started gathering, a thrum of power that reverberated throughout his entire body. Yet, before he could take any action, something cool grasped his hand. With a start, he realized that Sophie had slipped her hand in his, and the girl was looking at Olbrick resolutely, as if eyeing an opponent on the battlefield.

"Will you let us go?" she asked simply.

The noble smirked at that. "After you broke into my house with the intention of stealing something from me? Whatever will Lord Lhant say?"

"We could escape," Sophie pointed out. "You know you can't stop us."

"You could," Olbrick acknowledged. He seemed pensive for a while before speaking again. "But I suppose it wouldn't hurt."

Lambda couldn't believe his ears. "Why?" he all but roared.

"It'd only be normal for a smart man to ensure that he isn't being cheated in a deal," the lord said. "Although, if you wished to see the journals, you need only have asked."

"There is _no _deal," the sentience snapped. "And I will not entertain you further."

"Touché." The noble stepped aside then, leaving the path to the door clear. "Well, you know where to find me. And you know I mean you no harm."

Lambda fixed the harshest glare he could at the man before storming out. The guards at the Brind estate simply let him pass, as if it were a natural occurence. But he was so caught up with his own thoughts that he scarcely realized how many people were watching him nervously as he walked past. Olbrick had planned this, he was sure- enough to prove that he knew what Lambda was doing, what he was thinking, and how he didn't consider the sentience a threat. How he thought Lambda was completely _tamed_. He had been completely played- and that idea infuriated him. He hadn't even realized that they had left the estate until Sophie gripped his arms and blocked his way forward.

"What's going on, Lambda?" she asked. At any other time, he would have reigned in his anger and tried to form an excuse, but he knew Sophie well enough to tell the tone of suspicion in her voice. All too late, he realized what she must have overheard.

"Let go of me," he hissed.

"This isn't the time for games," she said sharply.

"I'm not playing any," he snarled, shaking himself free of her grip. He scarcely got a step forward before he felt her hand clamp down on his again.

"Then tell me about this deal Olbrick mentioned," she said. "Please, Lambda."

It was the hurt in her voice that got him. "This isn't fair," he said at last, turning to face her. "You can't just demand me to-"

Her eyes were suspicious, but they were also the same, huge purple eyes he had grown to love watching light up with joy. The sadness that regarded him now felt as painful as if someone had stabbed him again.

"I'm not playing any games either," she said quietly. "I just want to know if what's wrong."

"Whether I'll betray you, you mean," he muttered, before he could stop himself.

The hurt in her eyes made him regret saying that immediately. "That's not what I meant," she murmured softly.

He swallowed. In the dim light, she looked almost ethereal. Her face was morose, her posture shrunken. It felt as though any word he said now could cause her to disappear into the moonlight, a ridiculous thought that somehow caused all his anger to fade.

"No," he acknowledged, lowering his head. "No, it wasn't."

"Tell me," she said.

Such simple words. His mouth quirked slightly, mirthlessly. He wanted to, so badly, but at the same time, he knew he never wanted to see her eyes watching him with pity, never wanted to see her burdened by his own ordeals. This was his problem- bad enough that Asbel and Richard were already negatively affected by his own existence; the last thing he wanted was for _her _to be impacted by this.

The last thing he wanted was for her to be dragged into the mess that was his life.

"It is irrelevant," he said at last, choosing for the most truthful, concise reply that he could. "As I told him, there is _no _deal."

"Lambda-"

"Please." He saw her frown at his request, but she acquiesced. It hurt to see her step away from him, her shoulders hunched and gaze dropped to the ground. But the less she knew of this, the less she had reason to doubt him, the better.

"Olbrick's lying," she said flatly. "Despite what he said, you know Pascal. If she never found anything, nobody else would either."

"If only I had your faith," he muttered.

Her purple eyes peered at him, as if they were trying to see into his soul. Somehow, he knew that she must have had some idea of what was going on, even if he refused to tell her. "Would you attempt to sneak Brind to find those notes then?"

"Would you follow?" he asked with a hint of his usual snark.

She hesitated for a moment, and then all-so-slightly, she nodded. "You promised that I wouldn't be alone- so will I."

He felt his heart drop then. It had been so long ago that he had made that promise that he had nearly forgotten. That she hadn't, and that she still held it to be of such import-

That she would still trust him this much...

He couldn't let her do this. With the realization, he knew that he had to find some other way- any other way that wouldn't put the people he cared about in danger.

"I will speak to Asbel," he said. "He... will know what to do."

Sophie said nothing, but the once reassuring pressure of her hand felt heavy on his shoulder.

After all, this was the first time he had ever successfully lied in Sophie's face.

* * *

He was sure that, by dawn, the entire Ozwell household would have heard of his midnight excursion. Yet, perhaps it was out of respect for him, or maybe because she trusted him to speak to the Lord of Lhant at some point, but whatever the case, Sophie didn't tell anyone, and the day continued on as if nothing was wrong.

Lambda forced himself to forget about Olbrick and his threats, tried to focus on what was going on around him. Pascal continued to chase him with her tools, Alton was cooed over by the rest of the party, and the general good cheer kept up through the rest of the day. It made him a little sad, then, when it was finally time to leave.

"Till next year, brother," Hubert said as he clasped Asbel's shoulders in farewell.

"You're always welcome to drop by," Asbel replied.

"Maybe when Pascal finally fixes the ship," the younger brother muttered. "Perhaps now that Lambda's body is done, she can concentrate on that." He glanced over at the setting sun. "Something tells me you wouldn't have time to entertain visits though."

Asbel didn't respond then. The young lord gave a subtle nod, and then got aboard the Turtlez caravan, signalling that it was time to leave.

Strangely enough, Richard had decided to accompany them, having somehow dismissed his guards long ago on his journey to Strahta. The long journey traversing the countries became slightly more interesting then, as the king regaled them with tales of the court and the various nobles and people he had met over the years.

Sophie, in particular, seemed enthralled by the stories. There was that wistful look in her eyes that Lambda had came to realize was all she allowed herself to feel while thinking of adventure or travel. Lhant was her home, where her family was, but she longed for something beyond that. He couldn't blame her- she had an adventurous spirit, after all. Perhaps it was one of the reasons why she followed him around as much as she did. Still, it made him a tad bit regretful- eventually, he knew she'd leave Lhant, whereas for him, Lhant was where he always wished he could stay.

They stopped at the flower meadow before reaching Lhant town. While he was confused at the sudden stop, he was more surprised when Sophie started dragging him out of the caravan and out with her. Asbel and Richard were ahead of them, standing under the giant, watchful tree. They regarded Lambda's appearance with something that the sentience identified as amusement.

"I've got him," Sophie announced. She finally released her grip when they were underneath the shadow of the tree. At first, he felt cautious, but the bright smile that the purple-haired girl flashed at him rid him of any reservations.

"Does anyone care to explain?" he finally asked, his eyes flicking from either men.

All Asbel needed to do was to gesture at the tree. There, carved straight onto the bark of the giant tree, were three familiar names that Lambda had scarcely noticed. He remembered Richard and Asbel's memories, and of what those words meant to them. Of the sacred trust the three of them shared between them.

"The pact," he said, glancing at each of them. "But why am I...?"

"We thought it only natural," Richard responded, casually producing a knife from his belt and handing it hilt-first towards Lambda. "You've been as much a part of this friendship as any of us."

"We trust you, Lambda," Asbel continued. "And... I'm glad you trust us."

Wordlessly, he took the proferred knife, amazed at how strange it all seemed. It was true- out of everyone in the world, it was these three people he cared for the most, who had taught him how to be something other than who he once was. He had never admitted it, but they always knew- and the fact that they were including him in their pact...

"Come on, Lambda," Sophie egged him on, her grin wide and expectant.

He stepped carefully towards the base of the tree, staring at an empty space on the bark. He had never imagined that he would be here one day, and the knife felt like lead in his hand. Once, he had mocked Asbel for his complete and utter trust in his friends- only now did he truly appreciate what it meant to be part of something greater than himself. This was no mere decoration he was adding to the tree- this was a solemn vow to help those he loved; to protect them from any trouble they could get themselves in.

It was a heavy weight, and yet, it felt like one he would willingly take up time and again.

Slowly, he lifted the blade of the knife, and with the feelings he held in his heart, Lambda began to carve his name onto the bark.

* * *

Asbel would see Richard to the capitol. Having reached Lhant in one piece, the Turtlez had decided that this was as far as they would go- but it wasn't a long walk to the port, and Richard continually insisted that he wasn't some decorative ornament that needed to be protected every step of the way. Yet, before he left, the king of Windor sought Lambda out for a private talk.

"I will do my best to fulfill my end of the bargan," the king said as they stood in Asbel's study. "Can I trust you to do the same?"

Lambda nodded. "Things are different," he murmured. "This matter involves more than just myself." His eyes flicked towards the window, where he could see Sophie tending to her garden. "I cannot endanger Lhant, no matter what."

The thin smile that Richard wore softened. "There was a time when I wouldn't have imagined you to be so selfless."

"I am no hero," Lambda retorted with a snort. "If they come after me, I will answer them. But these people have taken me in, despite everything I was- everything I am. I owe them."

Richard shook his head with a wry smile and leaned against the nearby table, his posture relaxing slightly. "If that is what you believe, then I know better than to try to dissuade you."

"Thank you."

"That is another thing I have yet to grow used to," the blonde muttered with a rueful grin.

"I am told that I should not indulge too much in overt displays of affection lest Asbel thinks I've grown mad," Lambda smirked.

"I could imagine that happening," Richard replied. There was a pause then, his smile wavering slightly. "There is... something else."

Lambda arched an eyebrow, watching his old friend carefully. The king seemed hesitant then, his gaze flicking away from Lambda's face, lips pursed.

At last, he said, "She seems fond of you."

"'She'?" Lambda frowned.

"Sophie," Richard said, waving towards the girl outside the window, some distance away. "I'd never have imagined it."

The sentience shrugged in confusion. "Perhaps my lack of hostility towards her has fostered some ability for friendship," he said. "Truthfully, I would not be here if not for her intervention."

Richard stared at him for a long time before he finally sighed. With a wry smile, he said, "You don't have a clue, do you?"

"Pardon?"

"No, it's fine." The King's smile was easy then, almost relieved. "Just don't ruin it, Lambda."

"Ruin what?" He frowned.

Richard smirked then. "Nothing that you can't figure out on your own. You're a smart boy."

"I'm not a child," the sentience muttered.

"So you say." The King slid off the desk then, giving Lambda a small bow. "Till we meet again, then. I trust you will be able to ensure Asbel makes it in time?"

Lambda shrugged. "Lady Kerri and Cheria would beat him senseless if he didn't go."

Richard laughed at that. With a final flourish, the King waved goodbye before leaving Lambda in the study, alone.

He had grown used to the noise of company, of people surrounding him. Yet, now that he was finally alone, Lambda couldn't help but feel a small sense of relief. Here, in Lhant, in Asbel's study, he felt safe- as though nothing could pierce through the sanctuary of the town's walls. As though Olbrick, and Cornell, and all the thoughts and anger he felt in Strahta were light years away.

He picked up a book then, and settling down by the window, he began to read, enjoying the peace that he so treasured for just a tad bit longer.

After all, come tomorrow, he had work to do.


	13. Chapter 12

_Early update this fortnight because of moving and stuff. Whee. _

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

Lambda managed a good month of lying low before he decided to put his own plans in motion.

The year rolled by, unperturbed by the petty drama in his life. Through it all, Lambda felt uncharacteristically impatient- he knew that at least one lord in Windor wanted to capture him, and it didn't take a genius to realize that the lord who threatened everything he held dear was most likely Olbrick Brind. He never shared his suspicions with Asbel, mostly because he was pretty certain that the Lhant knew it too. But the waiting, and the lack of _anything _to back up his suspicions irked him.

He never did manage to sneak into Brind- mostly because he couldn't bear the thought of causing Lhant more trouble than it already had to deal with. But he began closely monitoring Olbrick's so-called 'research'. Little tidbits he got from Pascal or Hubert, rumours that bounced from the merchants, anything on ancient texts being sold in secret auctions. His travels throughout Lhant gave him the opportunity seek out new information and ways of keeping tabs on Olbrick. He had not utilized these skills for so long, but bit by bit, they came back to him. In less than three months, he managed to obtain some semblance of information; and it was worrying.

The texts Olbrick spoke of definitely existed.

It was after much debate that he finally decided to ask Pascal the ultimate question. The Amarcian had finally fixed the party's ship within a week (much to her companions' exasperation), and had started making constant journeys back and forth between the various continents for one of her newer 'projects'. It was during one of these times when she had landed in Lhant that Lambda cornered her, and after waving away her queries about his body (Did he want her to arm him with lasers? What about a flight mechanism?) he managed to ask the one question that had been bothering him all this time.

"Was there something in that ship's databanks about you?" Pascal frowned as she thought, finger resting on her lower lip. "Nothing much. Most of it was usual hokey-pokey jibberish about fuel consumption and trajectory calculations, although there was something about the preservation of eleth and a couple of experiments. But there was nothing that could possibly have helped us when we were trying to stop you from taking over the Lastalia, so- no."

"You're sure?" Lambda asked.

"Yup!" Pascal declared. "There were records of some experiments the Fodrans did on you, but most of the data was completely fractured and destroyed. At least, as far as I could tell."

"And you didn't miss anything?"

"Dunno," Pascal shrugged. "I'm sure I didn't when I was there, but seriously Lambda, what does any of this matter?"

"It's nothing."

The Amarcian watched him with wide, doe-like eyes, but said nothing. Tactfully, she let the conversation drop.

It wasn't but a week later when Asbel finally summoned him to the study. It was hard for Lambda to see the redhead as anything but the youth that had challenged him almost ten years ago, but on that day, he realized how much his friend had grown. Now in his late twenties, Asbel was comfortable in his role as the lord and father of his house. Still, it came as a mild shock when he found the Lord of Lhant was waiting for him with a stern look on his face, drawn up to his full height with squared shoulders.

"You promised you wouldn't meddle," were the first words that came out of Asbel's mouth.

"I did," Lambda replied. Despite the difference in height, he was hardly intimidated by the taller man. "And I haven't."

"I've heard otherwise," Asbel said with an arched eyebrow. "What's this about sneaking into one of Brind's manors?"

"Sophie told you."

"Were you supposed to tell me first?" The lord asked with a thin smile. He leaned forward, placing both hands on his desk as he fixed his harshest gaze on the sentience. "Lambda, what are you up to?"

"I am not about to embark on a one-man expedition of vengeance, if that is your concern," Lambda snapped back.

"It sure seems like it," Asbel retorted.

"And so it seems like Olbrick is your man as well," the sentience replied. He was hardly surprised by the look of shock in Asbel's eyes when the young lord realized his slip. Stepping closer, he narrowed his eyes. "You cannot presume that I will leave my welfare in your hands when it comes to this. He seeks to _control _me, Asbel!"

"And you _promised _to trust _us!" _Asbel slammed a fist into the table. "Yes, that's right, we _know _about what Olbrick claims he found!" Blue eyes glared at him unflinchingly. "We've known, ever since Hubert uncovered reports from the Strahtan Academy months ago!"

"And you've done nothing?" Lambda snarled. "You never saw fit to tell me?"

"It's a bluff, Lambda, can't you see?" the lord sighed. "Do you think if he actually found something that could control you, that he'd _tell _you? That he'd _let _you walk out of his house just like that?"

An odd spark of intelligence, Lambda admitted. "That cannot simply be all of your reasoning."

Asbel shook his head. "Richard and Hubert are already looking into the research. Even Malik has his ear to the ground. If it really is as threatening as you think it to be, we _will _destroy it."

He snorted then. "You assume that Olbrick would just roll over and let you see the actual documents?"

"You underestimate the Windor spy network."

"Or you overestimate your own authority."

"If the lords caught wind of what you were doing-"

"And if Olbrick deciphered those notes and used me against you?"

"Listen to me, Lambda!" The lord yelled. "There are... consequences for these sort of things. One mistep could cause wars, and Lhant doesn't- _I_ don't have the power or authority to go against the whole might of Windor. Is _that _what you want?"

There was an awkward silence then. Both of them were caught in a stand-off. Judging by the strange look on Asbel's face, the young lord hadn't meant to say all of that, and now he could barely look at the sentience. Lambda found himself trapped. He had some idea that what he was doing was marginally illegal and possibly a breach of diplomatic treaties, but at the same time...

"I want to stop Olbrick," he growled, lowering his eyes. "But I wouldn't risk your home after all it's done for me." He had taken all the precautions- been exceptionally careful in making sure that he hadn't done anything to attract attention to himself, that he hadn't risk Lhant's safety in any way.

That seemed to catch the lord's attention. Sensing a lapse in Asbel's momentum, Lambda seized the opportunity.

"You're bound by your laws, Asbel Lhant," he said. "But I have no such qualms. Do you not trust my discretion?" He smiled coldly, then. "I daresay I have more than a millennium's practice of it."

Asbel sighed and he deflated, slumping against his chair as he massaged his brows. "It's not your discretion I'm worried about," he muttered. "This... isn't like you."

Lambda paused.

Sensing his confusion, Asbel glanced at him. "The way you're acting... it's like the past decade never happened at all."

He found himself unable to hold the lord's gaze. "That's a lie. I have no intention of draining Ephinea's Lastalia."

"Lambda." Asbel's exasperation was palpable. "You're better than this."

_Better? _Better how? Better because he was calm and _happy _and he hadn't lashed out at anyone? Better because he didn't need to be Lambda, the monster, for so long? _Better_, because he was _tamed_? The words sparked a flicker of anger.

"And I thought you better than this," Lambda snarled in return. "The boy I met ten years ago would not be lecturing me to stay my hand- he would be the first one at Olbrick Brind's throat!"

That stunned the lord. Asbel's blue eyes widened, and Lambda wondered if, for once, he had gone too far. But the redhead simply grimaced.

"Things are different now."

"Are they so different that you have forgotten your own beliefs?" Lambda demanded. "That you would turn your back on me simply because I've complicated matters? That you would assume I would accept your authority simply because of your position? The boy I knew would have done what was right, regardless of the laws!"

"Of course not!" Asbel slammed his fist on the desk in a sudden outburst. The sentience almost jumped in shock at the sound, and when he met the lord's gaze- not so young anymore, not so innocent- he saw the weight of the world in them. "I'm not a boy anymore, Lambda," the lord said quietly.

He knew, of course. Somehow, he had always known. The reason why Asbel had changed- why he was so reluctant to risk Windor's wrath- was because of Lhant. Because the boy he knew a long time ago was a lonely child with nothing to lose, nothing to his name. The man in front of him held the lives of his entire country in his hand, and every decision he made, every word he said, was to protect those under his authority- even if they never wanted it.

Even him.

With a bitter smile, Lambda realized that he was simply venting his frustration, lashing out simply because he felt trapped, restricted. And he realized then how much the boy he had befriended had grown- perhaps far more than him, without him even noticing. Humans never ceased to surprise him.

He sighed. "You cannot ask me to stop."

His words seemed to steal any anger from the lord. With a sigh, the redhead leaned back into his chair, running a hand through his hair.

"No," Asbel agreed. He glanced out of the window, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But every instinct I have tells me this is a trap. He's playing you, and you're falling right into his hands."

"I cannot ignore this," Lambda murmured. "Even if it is a trap."

Asbel fixed him with a resigned stare. "At any moment, Olbrick could come after you for your past transgressions, and I'll have to hand you over to him."

The sentience found himself unable to respond.

"Lambda, I know how hard this is, but you can't get involved in this."

It would have been so easy, he thought, to accept what Asbel was saying. But when he had first decided to live, decided on his own autonomy, he knew that he could no longer hide behind anyone else. Not when this was the problem was his own.

Lambda stood up then, well-aware of the disappointment in Asbel's gaze. "You know I cannot."

The redhead seemed to understand. With a sigh, he murmured, "I wish I didn't."

He knew how difficult it must be for the lord. Any other noble would have cast him out for risking the safety of their people, but foolish as it was, Asbel still wanted to protect _him_.

Something told Lambda that it would prove to be his own undoing.

"Take action, Asbel Lhant," Lambda said, turning once more to glance at Asbel as he paused at the threshold of the room. "Before I am forced to do so."

* * *

Something was off today.

Sophie glanced up from tending the sopherias, her eyes flicking around before they finally settled on the source of the problem. And all at once, her heart clenched with a dread she had not experienced in a long, long while.

It was Lambda.

The sentience had been a regular visitor to the gardens, spending his evenings quietly sitting on the benches and watching the sunset. She had grown so used to the regular, rhythmic pulse of the eleth around him that she had unconsciously associated it with everything being alright. Being normal.

But ever since Strahta, the sentience had come less and less, and the garden had been strangely lonely without him around. She had wondered, of course, but she had seen so little of him recently that she started to think that he was hiding from her. But despite her odd feelings of loneliness, the odd pang in her chest when she wondered if he was avoiding her, she knew then that she had never wanted him to return like this- not with this unsettling anger he brought with him. Not with the eleth around him wound so tightly around his body that if she concentrated, she could make out rippling waves of red silhouetting his form.

"You told him," he said hoarsely, his deep voice resonating darkly in the evening light.

Ah, so that was what this was about. She stood, shedding her gardening gloves as she met his gaze. The girl found some displeasure at the fact that his mechanical body was slightly taller than her- the extra height made him seem more foreboding; more dangerous.

"You said you were going to," she retorted calmly, reminding herself that this was _Lambda _she was talking to. Not the monster of her nightmares- the boy she had laughed with, fought alongside with, whose hand she held as he lay wounded. The boy whose eyes suddenly looked so guarded that night back in Strahta.

His face twisted in a grimace. "So I did. I would have. Eventually."

She could have left it at that, now that she had the advantage. But something, this wanting to _know_, this worry, prompted her to speak.

"You're angry."

There was a flicker of irritation in his eyes, and there was a brief moment when she felt her heart clench again. But his voice was calm when he spoke. "Asbel wishes me to leave Olbrick be."

She frowned. As the lord's adopted daughter, it didn't take too long for her to figure out what the lord's train of thought was. Asbel had been worried, and it was during one of those conversations in which he told her about his fears that she had accidentally let slip Lambda's activities. But... "You don't agree."

"As if I was capable of it," the sentience snorted. "As if I could let that fool Brind do what he wishes."

"And did Asbel forbid you?"

Lambda shook his head then. Their conversation was calm, but there it was again- that spark in his eyes that shook her so.

"Don't do this, Lambda," she whispered, so soft that she wondered if he would even hear.

But he did. His gaze flicked over to her. Surprised, and beneath that, a tinge of anger. Unbidden, she took a step back.

"You, too?" he laughed curtly, without humour. "Do not worry. I've already told Asbel that I would not endanger Lhant-"

"That's not it," she cut in with a shake of her head. "You- you're not-" She frowned, trying to find the words. Trying to understand why, when it came to Lambda, she could not give voice to her thoughts, to the odd pain she felt in her heart. She paused, wondering what it was that she even wanted to say.

Lambda, however, seemed to find the sudden silence unwelcome.

"What am I not?" he asked then. "I am not who I was? I am not who I _am_?"

She flinched briefly. "You've changed."

He blinked. Once, twice. Then his face twisted into a scowl. "Because I wish to stop Brind from using me?"

"No!" she protested. "Brind needs to be stopped, but whatever he said, it's twisting you-"

"Twisting me?" he hissed as he rounded on her, and it took all her fortitude to not flinch at his words. "Twisting _me_?"

"You don't trust any of us with what's bothering you," she countered. "You run off behind our backs, and the things you do, the way you act-"

Somehow, it felt hard to continue holding his gaze, but she knew she had to. Deliberately, she said, spreading her palms wide, "The Lambda I know isn't like this."

There was something then- a flicker of hurt in his gaze. For another brief moment, she saw his anger crumple, and he exuded such sadness that she wondered if she had said something wrong.

"No, he isn't," he muttered then, breaking eye contact first.

She could only stare as he squared his shoulders, his anger dissipating like an easy summer wind. His shoulder slumped slightly, and he lowered his gaze so that his teal bangs covered his red eyes. There was an air of defeat there that seemed so out of place in the sentience that Sophie found herself too stunned to speak.

In that same, deep voice she became so familiar with, he continued softly, "The Lambda you know never existed."

She paused, taken by surprise, her mind reeling as she tried to figure out what he meant. Yet, before she could voice her confusion, he had already turned away, his form collapsing before she could even speak. In a blink of an eye, the dark fog stole away, disappearing into the surrounding shadows that had grown so long around them. She could sense his eleth disappear, and suddenly, she was alone again.

The pain in her chest felt intense, so overwhelming that her knees gave way, and she found herself staring at the dirt, wondering what it was that she had gotten wrong- what it was that she had said wrong. It had been a nagging sensation in the back of her mind ever since Strahta, but now the concern she felt exploded into full-blown worry and, oddly... fear.

And through it all, she didn't even know why, when she looked upon the face of the boy who called her his friend, who once was so hesitant to take her hand, she felt as if she was watching her world fall apart.

* * *

The Council of Lords took place once every decade. From what he understood, it was a meeting of all the lords in the kingdom to renew their vows to the king of Windor, and to discuss matters of state. Lambda had never paid much attention to it, originally- what use did a parasitic sentience seeking to destroy the world have for such things?- but he knew of it, having seen the previous Council while he was lurking in the depths of Richard's subconscious, back when Windor was under the rule of the old king.

Ostensibly, Asbel seemed nervous about the whole thing. He was young for a lord, having inherited his position suddenly after his father's death, and unlike most of the nobles, he had learnt everything on the fly- training to be a knight rarely included governing feudal lands or diplomatic relationships with other states. Most of the elder lords had paid little attention to Lhant, but from the odd banquets that Lambda had been forced to attend, the nobility seemed to hold Lhant in low regard, believing that the new lord was unproven and weak- being a hero did not mean anything when it came to ruling over a state as vast as Lhant was.

Yet, when the summons came half-way into Autumn, Asbel didn't hesitate. Almost immediately, he had gathered up a small contingent of soldiers and made preparations with Cheria to oversee the upcoming harvest.

What surprised the sentience, however, was when he found himself in Asbel's study yet again, the very day before the party left.

"You're coming, aren't you?" Asbel asked simply, hands clasped on his desk.

Lambda arched an eyebrow. He was surprised, of course. After his previous declaration towards Olbrick, the last thing he had expected was for Asbel to bring him anywhere near the proximity of any of the lords of Windor.

The redhead sighed. "Let us prove to you that you don't have to be afraid of Lord Brind."

"I am-"

"-not afraid. I know." Lambda could have sworn that the corners of Asbel's mouth twitched. "You try too hard to put up a strong front, Lambda."

He squared his shoulders. "You want to prove to me that Brind has nothing on me," he said, turning back to the matter at hand.

Asbel gave him an exasperated look, but the lord nodded. "And it will set the other lords at ease if they can see that you're nothing like the monster they've been told of."

"Intelligent. Not your idea."

"It was Cheria's," Asbel admitted with an embarrassed cough. "But if we do this, then-"

"It would set everything to rights," Lambda agreed. He nodded slowly. "Very well. I shall accompany you."

He turned to leave then, when Asbel spoke again.

"Wait."

There was iron in the redhead's voice. Lambda glanced over his shoulder warily, almost expecting to see Asbel's hand on his sword. Instead, the lord merely stood there, arms folded and looking extremely stern.

"Sophie's coming too," he said.

"I see," Lambda murmured. He kept his features calm, unwilling to acknowledge the sudden spike of sadness at the thought of seeing her again. Ever since that conversation in the flower garden, he had went to great pains to avoid contact with the purple-haired girl.

Asbel, damn him, was still all too good at reading what went on in his mind. Leaning against the desk, the lord continued, "I don't know what happened between the two of you, but when she heard you were going, she insisted."

It felt as if he was an insect under Pascal's curious eye. Turning away from the redhead, Lambda murmured, "A minor disagreement."

The lord winced. "Minor or not, you should speak with her. The tension's unbearable. Aren't you friends?"

Lambda paused. He remembered the look in her eyes when they had spoken last- when she looked upon him with fear. It hurt him, and what hurt most was the thought that had wormed itself into his head- that she was afraid of him because only now, only _now, _had she realized exactly that Lambda the monster was still very much a part of him, that all this time, she had looked at him and seen only one side of him.

That she was, and had always been, afraid of who he truly was. That nothing had ever really changed.

But he recalled the times he spent in her presence- the smiles she flashed him so easily, the sparkle in her eyes as she regarded everything around her. And, wistfully, he knew he was a fool for wishing that they really were friends.

He knew it was because of her that he had become more than he once was. He owed her that much, at least.

"I can give no guarantees," he said at last, aware of how Asbel was watching him carefully.

"You rarely can, can you?" the lord replied with a wry smile. "Pack up. We leave at first light."

He nodded, and reached for the door. He barely touched the brass knob when Asbel's voice called him again.

"Lambda."

"Yes?"

"Don't worry," the lord said with a gentle smile, his form silhouetted by the light streaming in from the window behind him. "Everything will be alright."

The sentience always wondered what it was that gave Asbel such confidence in his words- words that had guided him out of the darkness, words that, even now, fortified his spirit. Had he not known the lord as well as he did, he might have made the mistake of decrying the foolery in his words. But today, he merely nodded in return.

How badly he wished those words were true.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

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The small party moved quickly through the Lhant countryside, and by midday, they were on board a ship that would take them to Barona. It was a trip that Sophie had taken many times, but despite the good weather and calm seas, she felt a heavy sense of trepidation pressing in on her. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, she knew exactly what was the cause.

Lambda stood with her at the bow of the ship, arms folded and looking as stony as usual, if a little cross, completely oblivious to his surroundings. They hadn't spoken more than a few words to each other since the day began- in fact, Lambda had hardly spoken at all. It was as if, caught up in his thoughts, he had closed himself off from everyone around him.

Thus, when he had come up to her but a few minutes ago, she wondered what it was that he wanted. They had been standing like a couple of statues since then, each reluctant to speak. Her surprise only grew when he broke the silence first.

"Asbel thinks we should... talk," he said, gazing out towards the city port off in a distance. For a moment, she thought she heard his voice falter, but as he turned to fix his stony gaze at her, she dismissed it as her imagination.

"We should," she acknowledged, trying to keep her voice neutral as she turned to him. For years, they had been at complete ease with each other, comfortable and friendly. Yet, the way things were now, it felt as if she had only just met him in the flower meadow but a day before- his gaze inscrutible, and his thoughts even less so. He stood but a few feet away, but it felt as if there was a giant gulf in between them.

"I-" he began, then stopped. He ran a hand through his hair, his brows creasing in frustration. It seemed odd to see such organic actions come from a mechanical body, she thought. "You think I've changed. For the worse."

She nodded slowly. "Did you ever really trust me, Lambda?" she asked softly.

She noticed the way his eyes flicked to the side as if he were thinking, the way his frown seemed deeper. The way his original surprise was replaced by a sudden melancholy. "Did you?"

Did she? Yes, she wanted to say, of course- yes. But when she opened her mouth, something stopped her. She scrutinized the sentience. Where once she found it easy to judge his thoughts from his eyes, now it felt as if his gaze was guarded, afraid.

Unconsciously, she found herself pressing a hand against her chest, trying to assuage the dull throb she felt there.

She didn't know why. He wasn't angry, watching her with the calm gaze that was almost human. This was how she always wanted to remember him- gentle, present. He was _here_, standing right next to her.

So why couldn't she respond? Why did she entertain these thoughts that she had thought she had buried and destroyed years ago?

Why couldn't she tell him what they both needed to hear?

He stayed silent for a long while, waiting, before he let out a soft, muted sigh. "Forget it," he murmured as he turned away, his eyes downcast. "That was a foolish question."

She wanted to stop him from leaving. But when he turned and fixed her with his ruby gaze, she froze. Suddenly, she saw a flash of her memories- of a monstrous shadow with his claws outstretched, waiting to pierce through her like spears, his roar like a vengeful beast-

She froze, unable to move as she watched him turn and walk away from her. And as his white-robed form slipped beneath decks, she couldn't help but wonder how long this horrible feeling would last.

* * *

The capitol of Windor was a beautiful place- straight streets paved with stone, with the Valkines towering nearby, a beacon that symbolized order and protection to all who glimpsed it. Yet, today, Lambda found the city to be confining, restrictive. It reminded him too much about the world that was outside of Lhant, of the threats that lurked all around him. For a brief moment, he found himself scanning the eleth of the nooks and crannies of the city, as if expecting there to be enemies lurking within them. Then he reminded himself that nobody would dare attack him here, out in the open, with Asbel just a few feet away and Richard in the castle nearby.

Unconsciously, he found his gaze drawn towards the structure off in the horizon, Castle Windor. Undoubtedly, the other lords would gather there- Olbrick among them. He felt a small sliver of fear then, one that he pushed away and stomped out as viciously as he could. Olbrick wouldn't do anything- he couldn't, not with guards and all the other nobles lurking around. Besides, based on what he knew, the Strahtan researchers had yet to finish deciphering Cornell's texts anyways.

The thought did little to reassure him.

"Should we go to the castle?" Sophie asked suddenly as they entered the city proper. She stood at the front of the group, by Asbel's side. Lambda had tried to avoid the girl for the majority of the trip, yet, somehow, he always found his gaze drawn towards her. She looked more muted today, with less of her usual exuberance. When she glanced at him, her gaze always looked troubled- and he knew that, at least partially, he was the cause. They had not spoken- not _properly- _and somehow, the sentience found himself lacking in courage when he thought of talking to her.

He wasn't sure what hurt worse- the knowledge that what she said would confirm his worse fears, or the stubbornly held hope that he was wrong.

"Probably," Asbel replied, his gaze flicking over first to him, then to Sophie. Lambda could see there was a thought in his eyes. Abruptly, he continued, "I'll go. It'll take some time to sort through all the pleasantries. Maybe you'd like to look around the city for a bit?"

Asbel's blue eyes landed on him. Lambda found himself slightly surprised- still, any opportunity to stay away from the nobles, from _Brind _was a godsend. Quietly, he rumbled in reply, "I would not mind."

The lord nodded and turned to the girl by his side. "Sophie?" he asked gently.

She hesitated. Self-consciously, she glanced at Lambda, and he felt a lump settle in his throat as she lowered her gaze. "Alright," she acquiesced.

Asbel looked satisfied with the answer. He clasped each of their shoulders, and with a gentle smile that was so infuriatingly quintessential Asbel, he murmured softly, "Take care of each other, alright?"

"Of course," they echoed in unison. Lambda locked eyes with her then, startled- and in her violet pupils, he saw a reflection of his own surprise. But then quickly, quietly, it faded, and she looked down and away, biting her lip all the while.

Asbel seemed to understand that there was nothing else more to say. With that, he nodded and waved his soldiers to follow.

Together, they stood and watched as the lord and his small retinue climbed up the city steps towards the castle. Lambda felt the isolation press in around him then. Here he was, in this vast city, with his enemy possibly sitting in the very castle that overlooked it. And there was the worry he couldn't quite shake- would Richard's plan actually work? Would he really be safe?

"Let's go." Sophie's voice pulled him from his thoughts. She stood nearby, watching him with her dimmed, violet eyes. Things between them were still strange. Yet, knowing that she was still there with him seemed to ease the tension that he felt.

Quietly, he followed her lead down the streets of Barona, for the moment content with the slight bond of camaraderie that still existed between them.

* * *

The streets were familiar to Sophie, having crossed the numerous paths millions of times before. Sometimes, on a whim, she would come to the capitol solely to stare at the shops and the likes, entertaining the brief idea of maybe sneaking into the castle to see Richard. She always wondered whether Lambda would have joined her in her numerous excursions, but there were always other things to do, and he was always reluctant to leave Lhant. She had never expected for them to have come here under these circumstances.

Yet, in spite of the tense atmosphere in between them, Lambda seemed more relaxed now, less wary. If she didn't think too hard, it would almost have seemed as if it were a normal day for both of them, enjoying the peace of each other's presence. Hesitantly at first, she brought him through the various shops and cafes that lined the city streets. And with each passing smile Lambda showed, she felt her own spirits lift slightly.

At least, until she caught sight of someone familiar tailing them.

It was but a glimpse, but Sophie knew what she saw. Reaching out with her senses, she could feel them- eleth signatures that were rougher, far more coarse than the refined signatures of the Baronian citizens. With a start, she realized that they had completely flanked their position, and that Lambda, unaware and still recovering his lost eleth, was unable to pinpoint the difference in eleth around him when he wasn't actually trying.

He had no idea that Gern and his bandits had them completely surrounded.

There was no doubt what they wanted, she thought. Her body tensed at the thought. Even though she was lightly garbed in her work shift and hardly armed with her usual gear, she knew that she was more than prepared for a fight if it came down to it. And these bandits had showed little to no respect for innocent life before. Out here, in the middle of the streets- how many people would be wounded before the guards arrived?

She refused to acknowledge the darker whisper that she knew that they weren't here for a fight- that they were here for another, more sinister reason.

She could not involve Lambda. Her eyes flicked over to the mechanical boy, who was now observing a contraption in a nearby toy store. If he realized what was going on- she could only imagine what would happen. What he would do.

_Dark claws, striking at her. Thin, needle like tips piercing her body. A gleeful laugh that was so familiar and yet not-_

She swallowed, trying to force away the memories. And suddenly, it dawned on her what exactly she had been so afraid of. There, watching Lambda admire a child's toy with such rapt fascination, with such a human expression- she knew. And while that knowledge did nothing to ease the fear she felt, she knew that it only strengthened her resolve.

He was momentarily distracted for now. And when she glanced over her shoulder, she could see the bandit leader standing at a nearby alleyway, watching them both with a smirk.

Quietly, she stepped away from Lambda, away from the light and sanctuary of the Barona streets. There was a brief moment where she wondered whether she was doing the _right _thing, but when she glanced at sentience only a few metres away, she knew that if she could protect that smile on his face, that gentle look in his eyes- it would all be worthwhile.

Gern grinned at her as he slipped beyond the corner. She didn't hesitate as she followed.

* * *

She chased the bandit down the familiar path, following him to a stately looking building some distance away from the city center. The eleth signatures she had been tracking had, instead of homing in on Lambda, abruptly followed Gern as he moved towards the nearby catacombs. Sophie knew that there were at least half a dozen men waiting for her, including the bandit leader, and in a small moment of thought, she wondered if she was too far in over her head.

But there was no doubt that Gern had intentionally singled them out, intentionally led her here. There had to be a reason, she thought. And besides, she wouldn't fall easily to half a dozen men. Lambda may have been weakened, but she- she was still the Hero of Ephinea.

Or, at least, that's what she told herself as she steeled herself and descended down the steps of the catacombs.

Damp, chilly air greeted her. Dressed only in light clothes meant for the outdoor heat, she couldn't suppress a shiver as she stepped into the darkness. The eleth here felt old and dark, and the structures around her that once would have looked noble in the light now stood crumbling and forboding. Faint light streamed in from the cracks around the cave, but even so, the interior of the secret passage was dimly lit, with plenty of shadows for her attackers to hide in. Lucky for her that she could track them, she thought with a thin smile. And lucky for her that Gern was standing out in the open, waiting for her.

"What do you want with Lambda?" she asked as she approached him.

The bandit leader's grin looked wolfish on his scarred visage. "Why do yer think it was him I wanted?"

She slid into a battle stance, keeping well aware of the movements of the eleth signatures around her. As she had originally suspected, Gern had backup waiting in the proverbial wings, lurking behind the crumbling pillars around them. At any single time, they could launch an attack. Judging by the distance, she guessed that there were at least five archers or spell-casters, and ten men armed to the teeth ringed around her.

"Tell me," she said sharply.

"Same reason as always, girl," Gern said with a wide, predatory smile. "Profit." He waved an arm and took a step back. All around her, the men she had been sensing moved out from the shadows, their blades glinting dangerously in the faint light.

She stepped back, placing her back towards where she sensed the least men. "I won't let you take him," she snapped.

The bandit leader arched an eyebrow. "Who says I'll have to?" he smirked. "Who says it ain't what he wants?"

It was a momentary falter in her concentration, a slight surprise- but it was all the bandits needed. Immediately, Gern gave the signal, and they ran towards her, swords and hammers leading. Gritting her teeth, she shoved her fears and thoughts to the back of her mind and let instinct take over.

It was a blur- she blocked and spun and kicked, dancing in between men twice her size as she tried to nail a hit that would put them out of commission. Yet, every time she thought she was getting the upper hand, there would be the sound of a whistling arrow cutting through the air, the feeling of eleth gathering nearby that harked the beginnings of an arte. They couldn't touch her, but against such numbers, neither could she do any lasting damage.

"Don't kill 'er," Gern yelled over the commotion. "But don't go easy on 'er either!" The bandit leader stood some distance away, grinning as he watched the spectacle. Their eyes met- and the unfettered bloodlust in the other man's eyes sparked a tinder of fury in her.

This was the man that wouldn't dirty his hands as people died by his orders, the man that wanted to destroy everything she held dear. This was the man that wanted to take Lambda away- and Sophie knew, in that moment, that she was beholding the eyes of a true monster.

She yelled, eleth bursting from her fingertips as she flung herself at Gern, leaping over his henchmen. She saw a spark of surprise, and then, relatively fast for a human, the bandit dodged her initial strike. When she turned to look, he had slid behind her, sword drawn. His men were but a few feet away, and she suddenly found her back to a wall.

"Make this easy fer yerself and surrender," Gern suggested. "Yer no use to me if yer dead."

She tensed, her fists clenching tight. What could they possibly want with her? To use her as a hostage against Asbel? Against Lambda? Either way, she couldn't allow that. Yet, she knew that the odds of her making out of this tussle unscathed were slim as it were.

And then, the eleth around them exploded.

There were screams from the dark- terrified, all-too-human screams. And then, as the bandits looked warily for the new attacker, dark eleth snaked out of the shadows to her left, striking the gathered bandits as they looked on in surprise. Several of them were taken down before they could even react, and the others started to move apart, forgetting about her presence entirely.

And in the shadows, she sensed it- that familiar, unmistakable presence. But the original joy she felt soon dissipated as soon as she saw Lambda step out from his hiding place, an aura of pitch black eleth swirling around him. And his eyes- they were so cold, so angry.

"Lambda." Gern didn't look surprised- in fact, if anything, his grin had only grown wider.

"I've taken out the rest of them hiding in the shadows." He didn't look when he addressed her, even as he stepped to her side. "All that's left is this pitiable bunch."

Perhaps sensing that they were outmatched, the bandits glanced at each other warily, before turning to Gern for instructions.

The bandit didn't seem to have his men's reservations. "Take 'em out, boys."

Either out of loyalty or fear, they charged.

Lambda attacked first, lashing out with his rage as the bandits charged. Dark sparks flew through the air, sizzling as they struck his unfortunate victims. The few that had escaped his initial attack soon found themselves within range of her own strikes. Scattered and disorganized by the sentience's shadowy tendrils lashing at them, men who once were capable of keeping her on her edge suddenly seemed to have openings everywhere, and within a few minutes, at least half of the bandits that had originally attacked her had crumpled onto the cavern floor.

The sound of sudden footsteps caught her attention- when she looked, she could make out Gern's form running away from the opening, towards the exit of the catacombs. Catching Lambda's eye, she knew he saw it too.

But three bandits still stood, and she knew they would have to take care of them first. Almost instinctively, she found herself back-to-back with her once-foe. Lambda caught her glance, and even without any spoken words, she knew what was going on through his mind. With more room to maneuver, the remaining bandits had spaced themselves out so as to not get caught by their own attacks. Yet, she knew that the odds had already turned.

They moved together, striking one bandit down before he even knew what hit him. As the other two lunged at them, Lambda backpedaled, slamming his elbow into a man's face as she grabbed hold of his arm and flipped him into his compatriot, sending them both crashing to the ground.

As the dust cleared, they were the only two left standing. Yet, as soon as the battle ended, the easy camaraderie between them in battle vanished as Lambda marched up to her and snarled, "What did you think you were doing?"

She was taken aback by his sudden fury. But after everything that had happened- after he had been avoiding her, and she didn't even know _why_- after the strained silence that had existed between them all day long, the last thing she needed was for him to lash out at her.

"Stopping bandits," she replied sharply, lifting her chin defiantly.

"You ran into a trap! If I didn't follow-"

"I didn't _want_ you to follow!" she retorted. "I didn't want you involved with any of this!"

He looked shocked. For a moment, he froze, and then he narrowed his eyes. "Why?" he asked, his voice low. The angry waves of eleth around him flared. "Did you honestly think I'd listen to men like that?"

She locked eyes with him then. "You would," she said fiercely, stepping up to him. "You'd listen- and I was afraid-"

"That I'd betray you?" His voice was dangerously low, his red eyes glowing with an intensity that scared her. "That I am nothing more than a monster?" He looked away in disgust.

"No!" she protested, grabbing hold of his arm as he turned.

"Then what?" he roared, fixing her with the harshest look she had ever seen upon his face- and in that moment, she understood. All his rage, borne from hurt, from fear. Because he didn't want to be hurt again, didn't want to be scared again.

The question that had been bothering her the whole time- she finally knew the answer. "Don't you get it, Lambda?" she asked quietly, stepping close enough that she was directly under his gaze. "You're doing this for yourself, not for us. Not for anyone else. You're so caught up in your own fear and anger that you can't trust anyone!"

"That's-" He seemed at a loss for words, and she could see the confusion dawn in his eyes.

"That's exactly how you were before," she spat. "You turn away from everyone around you-"

He flinched. Brusquely, he said, "I'm not."

"Aren't you?" She could see that he was conflicted, confused. "You won't tell me what's wrong. You run off on your own-"

"You're one to talk," he rumbled as he turned away.

"Please. I don't want to lose you."

He was close enough still that she could hear his breath stopped for a moment. It always surprised her how someone like him, who never needed to breathe, could react in such miniscule, human ways.

For a moment, she expected him to turn, to come back to her and lay her fears at ease. But then he continued moving away, refusing to respond because he was afraid of acknowledging that maybe, just maybe he was wrong.

"Lambda!" He paused at her cry, and glanced over his shoulder. There was no anger there- only a guarded pain, a wall between them that he refused to let down.

"Gern went to the castle," he said. "I-" He faltered, his gaze lowered. "I have to go."

She should have ran after him. She should have forced him to stay put. But instead, she only watched. Because she knew he wasn't going to listen, that he was already too far gone from her reach.

Because despite everything he was, the one thing she knew best was that Lambda was a coward- and he was afraid; so terribly afraid, of watching everything crash down all around him again that he couldn't even bear to let anyone know his fear.

And in the silence of the catacombs, she felt a single tear run down her cheek.


End file.
